My pissed off mood is gone. I don't know what happened, but I do know that I felt it leave. I was sitting in front of my computer, reading MadPoet's Blog (after I had written my ode to Kurt) and I literally felt it slip off me..rather like letting a blanket fall from around your shoulders to the floor. So now I'm in a mellow, a very mellow, mood..cooking some good food, listening to some Nirvana. The sun broke through the overcast sky this afternoon and there are people outside..kids ...

So today is the first day of our social experiment. I'm trying to prove that I can spend not a lot of money and feed everyone to satisfaction and beyond. For supper tonight we are having roast beef (on sale, I bought a nice big sirloin tip roast for under $6), roast potatoes, cabbage and gravy. I guesstimate the whole meal has cost me less than $10..which may sound a little extravagant, but let me explain: leftovers will feed us tomorrow. Cold meat and bubble and squeak, and there'll be...

He's been gone 10 years on Monday. I can't believe it's been that long. It seems like just yesterday that I heard the news, that I sat and wept, openly wept for him, for his child, for myself... for the loss of one so young, so talented, so beautiful.. for one so despondent and tortured that he simply couldn't see any way out of the hell he had created around himself. I remember thinking that if he, he who had all that, saw no other way to escape the pain then what hope ...

I went to the commissary today. I know I said I was going to go tomorrow, but I decided that today was just as good. I bought enough food to last us 2 weeks...until the 15th of the month, the next time my husband gets paid. I made a menu plan, generated a list from the menu plan, and off I went. I spent $112.63 on edible stuff. That included a couple of bags of chips, some snack crackers, granola bars, yoghurt, a ton of fresh fruit and vegetables...even sodas (not name brand, but who ca...

I was reading about attachment and desire today. Buddhist philosophy is that attachment and desire lead to suffering (Dukkha), but that's not what I'm blogging about. I found an excerpt from my book that I think describes attachment very well: 'What happens when we do not let go? Asians have a very clever trap for catching monkeys. People hollow out a coconut, put something sweet in it, and make a hole at the bottom of the coconut just big enough for the monkey to slide its open ha...

Wow! I won something! Well, this is a surprise....I never thought, when I started blogging, that people would read what I was writing about. My blog was going to be just about me - still is about me and my life, really - but along the way I've been inspired by some of you. I have met a myraid of people here, and I can honestly say that I'm a better person for it. You all have made me think, have introduced me to new ideas and concepts (even though I still think some of you are full of ...

'Garbage can smell terrible, especially rotting organic matter. But it can also become rich compost for fertilizing the garden. The fragrant rose and the stinking garbage are two sides of the same existence. Without one, the other cannot be. Everything is in transformation. The rose that wilts after siz days will become a part of the garbage. After six months the garbage is transformed into a rose. When we speak of impermanence, we understand that everything is in transformation. ...

There has been much discussion in the past few weeks about the amount of money given out in the form of food stamps. The general consensus is that it's too much - and I agree. I have decided, just for *fun*, to conduct an experiment and see how little I can spend on food and still comfortably feed myself and my 3 kids. We're not going to starve ourselves, but we are going to cut out all the 'luxury' items...like prepackaged TV dinners, steaks, frozen pizzas, sodas etc. I already make ...

Karma and I had a discussion about meal plans and nutritious, cheap recipes today. She passed on a recipe for a rice spinach and cheese dish that I thought sounded really good and am going to try out. It got me thinking...who else has recipes like that? Stuff that's simple, cheap, but good? Pass them on....

I couldn't decide which one to post today, so I'm posting both. 'There is only one teacher. What is that teacher? Life itself. And of course each one of us is a manifestation of life; we couldn't be anything else. Now life happens to be both a severe and an endlessly kind teacher. It's the only authority that you need to trust. And this teacher, this authority, is everywhere. You don't have to go to some special place to find this incomporable teacher, you don't have to have some ...

Today I got my Private Investigator ID and my shield. Now I'm almost official. I'm actually within sight of finishing what I started, almost a year after I started it. I also got the results of my last exam...96%, an 'A' grade. I also probably have a job waiting for me in the UK...my big brother heads a corporate private investigations company. They have contracts with Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Budweiser, Waterford Crystal, Rolex and Ralston Purina (to name but a few) investigating fraud...

I'm trying to cultivate my spiritual garden. I've been slacking off recently and have fallen out of the habit of reading and meditating (bad Dharma..bad, bad, Dharma!). I'm going to try and post a daily thought from the many Buddhist sutras and teachings I have..mostly because I think it'll encourage me to absorb and think about what I'm reading, but also because I think it's goig to be interesting and useful to get some different perspectives. I learned some interesting things about peopl...

My husband tests for E-6 tomorrow. I'd like to take this opportunity to wish him luck...and if you'd like to join me, please feel free to do so! So, good luck, hunny.....you'll do fine...and I love you...always.

Ok, this is going to be short because my head is pounding and I feel like puking... I got a migraine Friday night/Saturday morning, and I haven't been able to get rid of it. I've tried all my meds, and none of them have helped (Maxalt, phenergan...). I think this is why I was feeling moody on Friday - I usually get an early warning that I'm going to get a migraine (normally 'floaters' that are really bright) and I probably should have recognized my attitude on Friday as a sign that I wa...