I'm on the other side of the hospice equation now.  I'm a family member. My dad's dying.  He's been dying for years, but in the past few months I've seen a more rapid deterioration.  He's not eating well.  He's sleeping more than he used to.  He's confused and disoriented.  He's had another small stroke. I don't know how much time he has left.  I don't know if I'm going to be able to go home when it happens....I don't even know if he'd want me to come hom...

This morning I went to the funeral of the patient I sat vigilance for 3 days with last week.  She had a beautiful casket and beautiful flowers and was wearing a beautiful outfit in her favorite color, but..... ...she smelled.  As I stood by the casket I could smell the distinctive chemical smell of formaldehyde.  I touched her cold, hard, waxy hand and was instantly aware of how different it felt, how it was un-natural and cold compared to the warm, living hand I held last week...

My daughter has just gone through her closets and sorted out clothing that's either too small for her or that she simply doesn't wear.  There are jeans, pants, t-shirts, long sleeve t-shirts, sweaters and even a couple of tank tops with name brands like Lucky and Ltd Too. Can any JU-ers use them?  The pants are sizes 1, 2, and a very small 4 (they translate to a girl's 14 or 16), and all the shirts are either a sz medium or small.  I'd be more than happy to box them up and ship...

It's been a rough week.  A very rough week, actually. I lost 2 patients.  One passed away on Tuesday, very peacefully. The other....took a little time.  I spent half of Wednesday, all of Thursday, and I got called at 3am this morning to go back and be with her because the end was near.  She passed away a few hours after dawn this morning, and I'm glad that she's free of pain and suffering now. There were a couple of high points to this week, but one of them I can't tell y...

From the top, they are: 1.  Air Force Commendation Medal 2.  Air Force Achievement Medal 3.  Joint Meritorious Unit Award 4.  Meritorious Unit Award 5.  AF Outstanding Unit Award with Valor Device 6.  AF Good Conduct Medal 7.  National Defense Service Medal 8.  Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal 9.  Global War On Terrorism Expeditionary Medal 10. &...

I spent this morning thinking about something that's been giving me a problem for a few weeks. I'm Key Spouse for D's squadron.  I did it at our last base for 4 years, and really enjoyed it.  I was the only K.S. and shared the duties with the commader's wife - who was going to school full time, which meant that I ended up doing it solo.  It was a lot of fun and very rewarding. Here at this squadron, though...it's a different ball of wax.  There are four of five women wh...

Recently, something has changed in me.  I used to be able to sit and watch the TV news and take the deaths of soldiers, marines and airmen in my stride.  I used to hear about young people being killed in car accidents or shootings and stabbings and not bat an eyelid. Lately, though...I can't do it.  It HURTS.  There's this weight in my chest - I think that I now know what poets meant when they claimed that their hearts were heavy, because that's how I feel.  My he...

I just spent the last 12 hours sitting with a man who is dying of cancer. When I walked into his room this morning he showed all the signs of being minutes away from death. 12 hours later when I finally acquiesed and went home, he was still exhibiting the same signs. I watched as his priest came in and gave him absolution from his sins. I held his hand and we talked - about any and everything. His body doesn't want to give up; it's still fighting what the cancer has done to hi...

I had my first taste of Coca-Cola Blak today. It tastes like what it says it is - a mix of cola and coffee.  It's like drinking a carbonated frappucino that's had a squirt of Coke syrup in it.  It's okay; I'd be happy to drink it every so often - but it's not going to be replacing the Coca-Cola Classic in my refrigerator. I think it's a gimmick; a product that will sell well at first because people are curious about it.  But, I can't see it being a long-term success. Then...

Yesterday Momma and The Big Guy came home with some other dawg.  I could hardly believe it.  I'M the only dog around here, I thought that they knew that.  So, I had to make sure that this other dawg knew that me, Henry, was the king of this house.  She had the audacity to get too close to MY toy, so I growled at her and showed her my teeth so that she'd know I wasn't messing around.  Anyway, we went outside and I was surprised to find out that she knew how to play. ...

Oh, why you look so sad? The tears are in you eyes, Come on and come to me now... Don't be ashamed to cry Let me see you through Because I've seen the dark side too When the night falls on you And you don't know what to do Nothing you confess Could make me love you less I'll stand by you I'll stand by you Won't let nobody hurt you I'll stand by you So, if you're mad get mad Don't hold it all inside Come on and talk to me now Hey, what you got to hide, I get an...

(by Henry, dharma's daschshund) Today was pretty boring.  My momma stayed in bed for a really long time - she was in there when The Big Guy told me to gopotty and she was there when the Little Guy and the Littlest Guy and Tall Girl and The Big Guy all went out and it scared me because usually my momma is in the room where they cook at and she wasn't there today, she was in her bed still.  I got really worried about her and so I went and jumped up and down by the side of her bed unti...

(In case anyone doesn't know, Henry is my daschshund - aka weiner dog) Ok, so like this is what I did today.... First The Big Guy came and knocked on the Little Guy's room and I was sleeping and it scared me and I didn't know who it was so I barked and The Big Guy told me shaddup dawg it's only me.  So then the Little Guy got up and told me to go outside and so I did and I took care of my business and then barked to let them know I was done and The Big Guy said shaddup Henry but he op...

Like many mothers and wives, I'm always on the lookout for new recipes and different meal ideas to feed my family for supper.  I have a rotating menu of things - tacos, spaghetti, lasagne, pork chops, stir fry chicken, different varieties of Hamburger Helper (Cheesy Hashbrowns are our favorite), shepherd's pie, steak and onion pie, roast beef....those are but a few of the things that are served for dinner chez Dharma. But they're old.  We've had them over and over and over again for...

I've going to start bellydancing.  I've been doing yoga for ages, but to be honest my heart's simply not in it anymore.  The on base classes have changed and I don't care for the new ones. The surgery has made it hard for me to attain and hold some of the poses, and some of them are simply not physically possible for me to do anymore.  I've been trying to find some way to reignite my passion for yoga, but I've been failing miserably.  Ever since I wrote the...