Threesomes and moresomes

another thing i just don't get...

Published on November 16, 2004 By dharmagrl In Personal Relationships

I overheard a conversation about swinging today. Not swinging like playground swinging, but swinging as in having sex with mutiple partners at the same time.

Now I'm no prude, but swinging and having sex with someone else and my husband disgusts me.

I can't get my head around the mindset....the women I overheard talking today mentioned that there was a lot of 'emotional love' involved. How? If you love someone enough to want to spend the rest of you life with them, how can you stand to see them having sex (of any kind) with someone else? How can you yourself stand to have anyone else touch you in a sexual way with your spouse in the same room; in the same bed even?

To me, swinging is basically cheating on your spouse, but with their permission and full knowledge. It goes against everything my marriage (and a lot of other marriages) stand for. It's physical infidelity, and I promised I wouldn't do it when I got married. Not only is it infidelity, I personally think that it shows a lack of self-respect.

Just one more thing to add to the long, ever growing list of 'stuff i just don't understand'.......

Comments (Page 3)

messybuu

on Nov 17, 2004

I understand your point. It's wrong to call homosexuality morally wrong but it's all right to call other sexual behaviors morally wrong. I like how people pretend to be open-minded by picking and choosing what's right and wrong just like the closed-minded.

dynamaso

on Nov 18, 2004

I can speak from experience as I am the 'husband' mentioned in Magenta's post. I love my wife very much and know she loves me at least as much as I her. We have known each other for many years and are very close. She is my best friend. We are both mature, honest and good people who can distinguish between love and sex. My wife and I make love. My best friend and I, well, we have occasionally invited someone we know well to have some physical fun with us. We don't take photos, we don't film it and we don't talk to anyone else about it (except in fairly anonymous forums such as these). As Magenta said, we understand and respect that its not for everybody. But it certainly isn't immoral or against our wedding vows...

kingbee

on Nov 18, 2004

But would you really be able to handle a threesome?

fmf? so far, so good mfm? hmmmm with some ground rules. mmm? not innarested.

I honestly think that most men, while they talk big about wanting one, would 1) not know what to do if it ever happened, or 2) suddenly go off the whole idea when it becomes real and tangible

agrees with my observations. ive known (and witnessed) a buncha guys who damn near physically pushed their partners into group events only to discover the women enjoyed it much more than either expected...usually with unpleasant repercussions. another realm in which gender stereotypes prove themselves flawed.

kingbee

on Nov 18, 2004

I love my wife very much and know she loves me at least as much as I her. We have known each other for many years and are very close. She is my best friend.

jealousy and possessiveness are incorrectly seen as manifesting love. realizing that not everyone can understand that or live it, what he's saying sounds right to me.

Texas Wahine

on Nov 18, 2004

jealousy and possessiveness are incorrectly seen as manifesting love.

That may be so, and maybe it's a character flaw in me, but I would not be OK with my husband having sex with another woman. And by not OK, I mean I would do her physical harm and then I would throw up.

island_gurl12

on Nov 18, 2004

TW - me too

But if you guys enjoy be my guests! i'm not tryin to stop anyone to do what they want. I guess i'm too early in my judgements

kingbee

on Nov 18, 2004

maybe it's a character flaw in me

i certainly didnt mean to suggest it was a flaw, much less that youre flawed mzw. (im sure as hell not kinky enuff to get into that vomitsex stuff )

and ya know it wouldnt have to be another chick

Texas Wahine

on Nov 18, 2004

i certainly didnt mean to suggest it was a flaw, much less that youre flawed mzw.

He he he . . . that's OK . . . I know I'm flawed.

im sure as hell not kinky enuff to get into that vomitsex stuff

@ vomitsex

and ya know it wouldnt have to be another chick

This makes me laugh thinking about it . . . I'm pretty sure my husband wouldn't go for that! He might vomit-n-punch, too!

kingbee

on Nov 18, 2004

ahhhh yall are compatible!

dynamaso

on Nov 18, 2004

Kingbee, when I was young and inexperienced, I did an absolutely dreadful thing out of 'love' (read jealousy). It nearly ruined a wonderful relationship I was in at the time and turned some friends against me. While I try not to have any regrets, this one cuts very close. It took me a long time to let go of jealousy etc., but I believe I'm a better person for it.

Texas Wahine

on Nov 18, 2004

ahhhh yall are compatible!

Yes, it's beautiful . . . I'm jealousy and he's rage . . . we blend together so perfectly!

kingbee

on Nov 18, 2004

It took me a long time to let go of jealousy etc., but I believe I'm a better person for it.

makes sense to me. i know what youre saying and i'm sure it's a benefit for you both.

kingbee

on Nov 18, 2004

Yes, it's beautiful . . . I'm jealousy and he's rage . . . we blend together so perfectly!

aaaaaaaaahahahahah yall will wind up becoming the new mauna loa!

dynamaso

on Nov 18, 2004

i'm sure it's a benefit for you both

You bet it is! The greatest thing is the level of trust and honesty we have. I have never experienced anything like it.

Pardon my ignorance but could you explain 'mauna loa' to me?

kingbee

on Nov 18, 2004

could you explain 'mauna loa' to me

mauna loa is the very active volcano on the island of hawaii. it means 'large mountain' (as i recall) and it really is a big mountain.

i was jokingly making a flawed allusion to the hawaiian legend of its creation as the result of a jealous rage on the part of the goddess pele.

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