I can read too, can I have a job with SBC Tech support?!

Published on October 10, 2005 By dharmagrl In Internet

The following is an excerpt from a conversation I had with SBC tech support earlier this evening:

Me: I'm having a problem connecting to the internet and i wanted to see if you had had any reports of issues in my area.

SBC: yes sir, let me check that for you.

Me: It's ma'am.

SBC: Alright sir, I'm sorry about that.

Me: it's ma'm.

SBC: yes, yes, I meant ma'am. Well, I'm not seeing any problems as reported in your area, can you tell me what your modem looks like? Are all the lights on?

Me: No, the 'internet' light isn't on. It hasn't been on for the past half an hour, that's why I'm calling you.

SBC: Ah, the internet light isn't on. Well, that means that you're not getting any internet. When the internet light is off, you won't get internet.

Me: *temporarily silenced by the stupidity of the tech support chick* Umm......

SBC: In order for the internet to get to your computer, the internet light on your modem must be on.

Me: Hello? Is this tech support? I think I might have been diverted to the wrong department.

SBC: Yes, this is tech support.

Me: No offense, but I called you, you tech support people, because I had tried everything I knew to do at home to fix this problem. I called you because you're supposed to be more knowledgeable than I. So far, you're not telling me anything I didn't already know. In fact, I'd have got more help from my child. Are you reading from the manual?

SBC: No, I'm not reading from the manual.

Me: You're reading from something. A cheat sheet, a list, something. You're not giving me any technical support, that's for sure. Are you guys hiring? Can I get a job there? Because I, apparently, know more about this than you.

SBC: We're getting to the issue, the issue is that your internet light isn't on, therefore you will not get nternet to your computer.

Me: *temporarily stunned, again* Ahh.....yes, I know that. I told YOU that. I'm aware of WHAT the problem is, but what I don't know is how to fix it. That's why I called you. You are supposed to know how to help me fix this problem.

SBC: Well, the problem is the internet light on...

Me: *interrupting her* You know what, I'm just going to fix this myself. You've been no help at all. You have yourself a wonderful eveing....or day, or whatever time it is in India.

SBC: Well, I can help you sort out your problem if we can just get that internet light back on on your modem.....

Me: Good bye! *and I hang up*.

I think that if my life ever comes apart at the seams, if I ever find myself in dire need of a job.....that I will either give myself a stage name of Busty Rhymes and go make money taking my clothes off for strangers, or I will move to India and get a job with SBC technical support. I'm qualified to do either...I've got a set of DD's and I know what each of the little lights on the front of my DSL modem means.

'Technical Support' used to mean something. Apparently one needs neither technical knowledge OR customer support skills to work for SBC.

Comments (Page 3)

Dr Guy

on Oct 11, 2005

Yes. That's one of the things that Dave and I try to do regularly. We figure if we can take the time to complain, we can take the time to praise as well.

So you get the dead air on the other end of the phone as well!

Hey! I figure we bitch enough, when they do good, lets tell them!

tjesterb

on Oct 11, 2005

Ususally it seems the first tier guy or girl is more than happy to pass you on to the next level, once you pull out one or two technical terms (of the many thousands they are ignorant of...) then you're much more likely to get some real support.

I have to say that once I've gotten past the first layer, the Roadrunner tech support has been very helpful. It was nice that English also seemed to be their native language.

Symantec tech support on the other hand....

well, I told the moron where she could go, and I'm no longer one of their customers.

23munkeys

on Oct 11, 2005

I just hate all phone support. The only one I've found that was any good was Telstra here in Australia, I'd be one of their customers if they had decent rates at all. My ISP is really good though, you can sign up for an email service which warns you automatically of any upcoming downtime or problems in your area. If it does go down for an unknown reason, it's usually not for long at all.

Erk.

on Oct 11, 2005

Symantec tech support on the other hand

Ah ...wonderful, wonderful Symantec. They owe me a couple of days of my life back [at the very least]. Over the course of a week loaded with AV problems [refused to update, then refused to uninstall ~ended with me having to format the drive & re-install everything

]

At best, I think I understood about every 5th word the so-called "tech support" guy was saying.

This farming out of tech support to incompetent boobs has gotta stop.

Companies need to stand by their products and services, and focus on getting repeat business from their clients ~rather than selling sub-standard goods [&services] in the hopes of making as much money as they can for themselves and shareholders, then irresponsibly passing the buck when it comes to supporting their customers.

Hi, Dharma

~sorry ...but I got quite a hearty chuckle outta your post, as I can relate to it quite well.

I am glad that you managed to fix it though.

Erk.

on Oct 11, 2005

The only one I've found that was any good was Telstra here in Australia

Yes, they are good [I'm currently with them] ...however, with the impending full sale of Telstra to the private sector, don't expect that to remain one of their priorities.

23munkeys

on Oct 11, 2005

Won't bother me. I'm with 3 for mobile and iinet for internet and phone. As long as Telstra reception stays good when i'm outside of 3's coverage area, i'll be happy

starkers

on Oct 11, 2005

Yes, they are good [I'm currently with them] ...however, with the impending full sale of Telstra to the private sector, don't expect that to remain one of their priorities.

Exactly...if something's not broken....why break it!

ParaTed2k

on Oct 12, 2005

We constantly read funny stories written by people who have worked tech support (I've told a few myself)... What is even more interesting (and not usually as funny) are the stories everyone else tells about so-called "tech" support.

starkers

on Oct 12, 2005

Regarding Telstra...I just saw a news item on TV saying it has spent 1.5 million to send some top staffers on an all expenses paid tropical island holiday...at a time when share prices are down; when their infrastucture is in need of dire attention, and customers questioning their pricing policy, given numerous complaints of incorrect billing: ie, deliberate overcharging.

One has to wonder....is this a sign of things to come, when Telstra becomes fully privatised....or is it a last ditch big spend up by the govt lacky employees the private sector would consider underachievers and therefore no longer required?

In any event, this squandering of a public utility's funds is disgraceful

Dan Kaschel

on Oct 12, 2005

Haha... I laughed hard at this one. Now whenever I call tech support I ask for somebody from the US. I feel mean doing it, but at least my problem will get fixed.

Dan

PoSmedley

on Oct 13, 2005

I appreciate your problem, and not to make lite of it, but that's the funniest thing I've read in a while. I hope it gets worked out for you.

Ziggystyles

on Oct 22, 2005

lol that is sad.

I myself worked for a company that did the tech support for SBC. So In a sense, I worked for SBC? Not sure how that worked out. Anywho..."Thank you for chosing SBC internet services, my name is Ryan....can I have your (whatever ) number please?

I have to admit...they ran us through a crash course 2 week training program which didnt really do jack for training. They said most of the calls were simple issues where the modem needed to be run through a power cycle. Now...I think Im fairly knowledgeable about computers and the like...but when it came to their DSL service...I didnt know much about it. We didnt have scripted things, although we had to do stuff in a certain sequence. We did however have a program that, if we needed to use, would run us through a point and click step by step walk through with the customer to take care of various potential issues.

Many times it was just a power cycle that needed to be done, unplugging and plugging it back in. Other times, the thing was unplugged in the first place...etc.

I even had a computer tech support guy (he ran his own company and went out to this particular location to figure out why there wasnt any service) and he was a putz. He kept telling me how his customer was paying him x dollars per hour to do tech support for him to get the internet back up and running and he wouldnt listen to me. He refused to believe that a simple power cycle could fix the problem. I laid it down that he would not get any further with me or any other customer service rep if he didnt first run a power cycle. He did, and whammo, back up and running.

Then we had customers that were ticked off that they were getting slow speeds, and became very irate when I informed them that it was in the contract that they signed that they were guaranteed a minimum 240ish k speed, not a minimum 3meg service. It may be a 3 meg service, but your guaranteed minimum is much much lower.

I only worked there for a summer and by the end of that time, did they just start getting stuff that would let us see the actual connection and lights on the modem and other geeky / helpful tools.

We also would be able to get on and see if there were any messages about outages in certain areas or we could check the status of the network in an area...but sometimes there would be problems that we werent aware of and couldnt find on our end....thats when it got to be a sticky situation.

suggestion...if you keep having probs...ask to speak to a manager, or ask to be brought to Tier 2 support. For some stupid reason....tier 2 and 3 support had much more tools than we did in figuring out and helping customers. When I worked there, if you asked for a manager, they had to get one for you (I had to put you on hold, use the same phone to call the manager in the building and wait for him / her to come over and take the call. We were actually monitored pretty closely by a few different people. SBC monitors its calls, our company itself monitored the calls, SBC would hire an outside company to monitor the calls...etc.

I dont know what happened, but after I left, the company closed its location in the town we were in which meant a loss of quite a few jobs as well as they had to pack up all those computers and servers and the like.

singrdave

on Oct 22, 2005

I guess it just goes to show, if you aren't getting anywhere with the current tech just hang up and try again.

That is, unless you have already been waiting for TWENTY F**KING MINUTES! Do you think I want to hear that insipid hold music again?

I once waited on hold where the recording actually had the balls to bring a voice on saying, "I'll bet you've had enough of this hold business. If I can help, just say so. ...Ha ha ha... I am just a recording, keep holding!"

joetheblow

on Oct 23, 2005

Maybe he was nervous?

I mean she. I mean he.

Dr Guy

on Oct 23, 2005

That is, unless you have already been waiting for TWENTY F**KING MINUTES! Do you think I want to hear that insipid hold music again?

YES! Arrggggggggg!

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