it's her

Published on September 28, 2005 By dharmagrl In Misc

I've found my birth mother.

I have her name and her address. I don't have a phone number, but that's okay.

She's living in her hometown....she's remarried, and I have 3 sisters and a brother. My brother and one sister are full-blood relatives, and the other 2 sisters are half-sisters.

I got identical information from 2 independent people, neither of whom have asked for payment. That leads me to believe that all of it really is true, and that I really have found my birth mother.

Now all I have to do is make contact with her. This is going to be hard.....I mean, what do you say to a person who gave birth to you but with whom you've had no contact for 36 years?

I'm going to write her a letter and send her some pictures of myself, Dave and the kids. I want her to know that I bear no animosity towards her, no ill will.....that I simply wanted to know that she was alive and well. Whether she wants to have a relationship from there is up to her.

I'm so shocked I'm shaking. I've always wondered what this would feel like.....now I know.

Comments (Page 1)

Manopeace

on Sep 28, 2005

What GREAT news Karen... I'm so glad you got the news so quickly. I hope she will have the answers you are looking for. Bless you for not having animosity towards her, that takes a special person like yourself.

Dr Guy

on Sep 28, 2005

Take it one step at a time. And the best of luck.

JillUser

on Sep 28, 2005

I can't imagine what that feels like. My neighbor across the street just found both her birth parents and found out she has a bunch of siblings. What a weird thought!

Best wishes!

Moderateman

on Sep 28, 2005

you say hello, feel her out to see if SHE wants this too.

talk about HER grandkids.

Be kind to you D, things might not go the way you want it to go, do not set yourself up to be hurt. please

{{{{karen}}}}

dharmagrl

on Sep 28, 2005

I hope she will have the answers you are looking for.

Me too.

WoW....keep us updated!

I am...and I will.

Take it one step at a time. And the best of luck.

Thanks!

I can't imagine what that feels like

It's very surreal. very, very strange.

you say hello, feel her out to see if SHE wants this too.

I am. One of the poeple who researched it for me spoke to her this morning. She's apparently told my siblings about me all along...they know they have a sister. She knows where I'm at, and she knows I want to talk to her.....she's looked for me in the past as well.

I'm crying because I'm shocked and surprised. I'm not sure what i should be feeling; I've never been in this situation before.

it's all very strange.

Texas Wahine

on Sep 28, 2005

Wow, dharma. Just wow.

I really hope that this will turn out to be something beneficial and enriching for you and your family. Do your parents know that you've found your birth mother? Will you tell them?

dharmagrl

on Sep 28, 2005

Do your parents know that you've found your birth mother? Will you tell them?

No, they don't know, and I don't know if I'll tell them or not. I'm going to have to think about that for a while. I don't want them to think that I've gone and replaced them, because that's just not how it is. They're my parents, they raised me and loved me....my birth mother can't replace that. I'm going to have to make sure that she knows that.....I'm going to have to be clear from the very start that I'm not looking for a mother figure because I've already got a mum.

I don't know what I'm going to do yet. It's all too new and too raw. I think I'm going to have some tea (it's an English remedy - whenever someone's had a shock you make them tea) and have a cry whilst I try to take all this in.

Dr Guy

on Sep 28, 2005

That sounds like some lady! I hope and pray all goes well. For both of you.

foreverserenity

on Sep 28, 2005

Wow, it's a reality now! Well, take it one step at a time and good luck! I do hope this all turns out well for you.

dharmagrl

on Sep 28, 2005

You know why, because it's just the right thing to do, and how can you keep that from them forever more? It's going to drive you nuts if you keep it as a secret.

Yeah, I know. I wasn't planning on NEVER not telling them, I just wasn't going to do it until I'd talked to Veronica. She may not even contact me, she may decide that she doesn't want to have a relationship with me....anything can happen. I WILL tell them, I just don't know when that will be.

FS: Yeah, it's reality. It's not just an abstract concept anymore.....and I'm struggling with that a bit.

Dr Guy

on Sep 28, 2005

FS: Yeah, it's reality. It's not just an abstract concept anymore.....and I'm struggling with that a bit.

Thinking about it and working toward a goal is the easy part. Now you have to master it, and that is not easy. Peace and serenity to you now, as you go through this with your parents and Birth mother.

HC1240

on Sep 28, 2005

Wow... I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. I'm praying that you will find answers to the questions you have, and that God will give you the words to speak and clearly communicate with Veronica how you feel, and what your desires are. I think it would be very cool to meet brothers and sisters that you didn't know about... but maybe I'd feel differently if I were in your shoes. (((((((((((((((Karen))))))))))))))))))) You're a very strong woman, and you'll know just what to do, what to say... when the moment comes.

Mr_Frog

on Sep 29, 2005

I don't want this to sound mean, because it's not intended to be:

What compelled you to look for your biological mother in the first place? How important is it that you need to know this woman?

It's just something that is a foreign concept to me. I mean, you were raised by your parents and this other woman has had no part of your active life (other than squeezing you out of her vagina). To me, it would seem that she is just another one of the 6 billion plus people out there in the world.

It's good that you found her, because it's obviously something that's important to you, and I'm glad for you. I just hope you can help me understand.

-- B

Dr Guy

on Sep 29, 2005

What compelled you to look for your biological mother in the first place? How important is it that you need to know this woman?

Read her initial story for the answers: http://dharmagrl.joeuser.com/index.asp?aid=87785

dharmagrl

on Sep 29, 2005

Now you have to master it, and that is not easy

You got that right...it's not.

I think it would be very cool to meet brothers and sisters that you didn't know about... but maybe I'd feel differently if I were in your shoes.

I'm really struggling with that today. I'm going to call my mum this morning and talk to her about it. I think they'll be cool with it, but I'm still dreading it...

I hope you will share at least part of your letter to her with JUsers.

Yeah, I will. I'm still working on it...I have a rough draft done, I'm just filling it out now.

I just hope you can help me understand.

You knew your genetic mother, right, Froggy? You could look at her face and see your own mirrored in there somewhere? Or you could look at your dad and do the same? I can't do that. I've never been able to do that. I love my mum and dad to bits, and they will always, always be my family....but I've always felt the need to know where I came from. I want to know if there's anything in my genetic history that I need to know about or that I should tell my children about. I want to know who I look like, who my kids look like...there's just things that I need to know.

I think that I should make it clear that this woman isn't going to take the place of my mother, ever. I can't say that we're even going to be friends. I don't know what she wants, and I don't even know what I want yet.

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