Momma's going to have to kick some ass.......

Published on July 12, 2004 By dharmagrl In Misc

My children and I have been spending quite a bit of time at the pool recently.

My 11 year old daughter, who is...ahem...quite developed for her age, shall we say, has been getting a lot of attention.

Not from kids her own age.

Not even from kids who are 1 or 2 years older than her.

From 18+ year olds.

She's pretty good about standing up for herself, and most of the time will handle herself and the situation alone.

There have been occasions, and these occasions are becoming more and more frequent, where momma has to step in.

When I say situations, let me explain what I'm talking about: overt comments of a sexual nature, such as asking her what her bra size is, telling her she has a "nice booty", if she dates, if she's kissed anyone....comments that are totally inappropriate.

My usual stance is to ask the kids to please leave her alone. If they don't, my next reaction is to explain what Shea's dad does, and to ask if they really want their folks to get a call from Security Forces asking why they were coming on to an 11 year old girl. That usually works.

Shea has complained once that some guy 'accidentally' brushed her butt whilst she was in the water. This was a guy that had made a couple of comments to her earlier. I asked her to show me where he was, but when we went and looked we couldn't find him. Lucky him. She said she'd recognize him if she saw him again, so every time we go now we're on the lookout. If and when we see him, I'll give him the 'I'm sure it was an accident, but if it happens again" brief..and if it does happen again, I'll have no qualms getting law enforcement involved. None. I'll also have no qualms about 'accidentally' grabbing his nuts and twisting them a full 360 degrees until he gets the message that he doesn't speak to, come on to, touch, look at or think about my 11 year old child in any way, shape or form. I'll also have no qualms about letting his folks know that they have a wanna-be pedophile living under their roof. Do you think he'll get the message?

My daughter is a little girl. She may have an adult-esque body, but she doesn't have the maturity to back that up. She shouldn't have to deal with comments like that. She's not going to HAVE to deal woth situations like that.

Mommas going to start taking names and kicking ass......

Comments (Page 2)

dharmagrl

on Jul 12, 2004

And how do you get your wrist to go 360 degrees? I bet its some kind of awesome Mom skill you acquire.

It's a police thing. I could tell you, but then I'd have to hurt ya! I know quite a few, actually. My husband, being a cop, and also having been a correctional officer, learned all kinds of neat stuff like that...and I got to be the guinea pig. I, in turn, got to see if I could do them on him.

CS Guy

on Jul 12, 2004

I've dated younger women, some as much as 12 years younger. I've also dated older. To me, age doesn't matter nearly as much as the person. That being said, I can not imagine a situation where an 11-year-old looked like a viable possibility. That's just sick.

dharmagrl

on Jul 12, 2004

I can not imagine a situation where an 11-year-old looked like a viable possibility. That's just sick.

That's what I'm saying. I've gone out with younger dudes....my husband is younger than me.....but an 11 year old, or a pubescent girl? Who looks and acts like a kid? If she were flirting with boys I could understand it, but all she was doing was throwing her sinking starfish and seahorses in the deep end and then diving for them when these assholes came on to her. She was being a little girl, playing with her toys.

The other issue I have is with the persistence. She tells them to back off, and they won't leave it alone until I step in. What kind of crap is that?

Janders

on Jul 12, 2004

Dharma~ Poor Shea!!!!!!!!!!! Screw them, they don't even deserve a warning, they deserve the shit beat out of them, I will help!

~JoLynda

Dusk411

on Jul 12, 2004

I noticed how you said, Karen, that you blame it on Britney and Christina. I think, for one, sexuality has been in the forefront of the society since the 80s (with Madonna being the patron saint). However, it is so prevalent (I guess you could say) nowadays. The clothes are tighter, the jeans are lower and young girls are receiving the message that they are worth something if only if they reveal their bodies.

I don't remember it being like that in the 80s. I think it's tougher to be a young woman post-Britney because standards have been lowered so much.

Muggaz

on Jul 13, 2004

Touché

It's a crying shame... young girls dont have any role models that make them realise that their brains are worth much more than their bodies... and young blokes dont really have many role models to make them realise that an intelligent, nice chick is always better than the ditzy hot one.

Parent's are great role models, and Dharma, I am sure Shea will be fine, but who does the parenting when you aren't there? damn MTV... If Britney can get her crap voice blasted all over the airwaves just because she is freaken hot, it tells young girls they can do anything... as long as they flaunt their 'assets'

pffft...

BAM!!!

dharmagrl

on Jul 13, 2004

Muggaz, you got an 'insisghtful' for that response.

Just wanted you to know.

Poetmom99

on Jul 13, 2004

Poetmom, I don't think those guys will be apt to do anything after momma gets done with 'em!

Very good point! They'll be lucky if they can move, breathe, etc.

To me, age doesn't matter nearly as much as the person.

I agree...AFTER both parties are consenting adults...after all, my husband is 18 yrs older than I am. I can NOT, however, imagine what my parents would have done if a 29 yr old had been hitting on their 11 yr old daughter....most likely, someone would have had to bail my Daddy out of jail!

The clothes are tighter, the jeans are lower and young girls are receiving the message that they are worth something if only if they reveal their bodies.

As the mother of 14 and 11 yr old daughters, I find it increasingly more difficult to buy them clothes that don't look like they belong on college girls....or have slogans on them that are unacceptable to us....the whole thing is just getting ridiculous!!

Parent's are great role models, and Dharma, I am sure Shea will be fine, but who does the parenting when you aren't there? damn MTV...

Just another reason why there is no cable TV in this house.....a view which most of their friends' parents share, thankfully. In this house, we do whatever we can to insure that our children remain children as long as possible.....not to the point of isolating them, or failing to educate them to possible dangers, but in terms of monitoring what they watch, read, listen to, wear, etc......

dharmagrl

on Jul 13, 2004

in terms of monitoring what they watch, read, listen to, wear, etc......

I want to expose my children to stuff so that they're not taken off-guard by anything...but it's my responsibility as a parent to decide when it's appropriate to do so, dig?

Shea is old enough to know why she's attracting attention. Davey has a clue why, thinks it's sick, and is annoyed when people talk to his sister. Jake has no idea. See what I mean? Jake just doesn;t have the maturity to understand, Davey sort of does....and that kind of 'scale' applies in other aspects of life.

I'm lucky...Shea won't wear short shorts or halter tops. She doesn't like to be too 'exposed'...and Dave and I are praying that it stays that way!

crimson

on Jul 14, 2004

Man, if I could only have the body I had then coupled with the knowledge I have now!"

hehehe. I wish I did, too!

Dharma, I mean to save this post for several years in the future. My girl is tall, up to my underarms now, and is only six. (I'm 5'6 or so). She's going to be very tall later on, as she seems to have the longest legs in the world already. She's a beauty, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't concerned already. It's good to hear how you are handling it... wishing you well! "

CS Guy

on Jul 14, 2004

after all, my husband is 18 yrs older than I am.

Wooo! Way ta go poetdad (or whatever his name is)!

CS Guy

on Jul 14, 2004

Just another reason why there is no cable TV in this house.....

I had to go without cable for the first three months in my new house and I really didn't miss it (except for internet access).

dharmagrl

on Jul 14, 2004

Dharma, I mean to save this post for several years in the future. My girl is tall, up to my underarms now, and is only six. (I'm 5'6 or so). She's going to be very tall later on, as she seems to have the longest legs in the world already. She's a beauty, and I would be lying if I said that I wasn't concerned already. It's good to hear how you are handling it... wishing you well! "

Hey Nic, how the heck are ya?! How's the job going?

I'm telling you, you have to watch them. I'm not worried about my child so much, I'm worried about the little perverts that are checking her out all the time.

Check this out...one of them was riding his electric scooter around outside the pool this afternoon, almost knocking people over and being a jack-ass in general. He didn't have a helmet on, so I stopped him and told him to put on his head gear or "park it and walk". As I was walking away, one of his little buddies called me a "bitch"...I didn't hear it, my sons told me. I turned around, went over to this kid who immediately said "it was an accident, I'm sorry" (w/o my even having said a word) and wouldn't look me in the eye. I said I didn't see how a 14 year old calling an adult a bitch could be an accident, but that I accepted his apology and wouldn't be talking to his parents this time...but there had better not be a next time.

WTF? When I was that age I wouldn't have dreamt of speaking to an adult that way, or even about an adult that way. It wouldn't have even crossed my mind.

Just another sign o' the times....*sigh*"

Missi7683

on Jul 18, 2004

I was the same way when I was around her age, and had the same problem. My mom taught me something that really works believe it or not. When a guy started to mess with me I would look around for the biggest scariest guy around and yell "Daddy come here I want you to meet someone." It would totally scare the hell out of them.

Doa Ana

on Jul 18, 2004

My daughter is only 4 and so many of the clothes out there look like they come right out of MTV! What to do?!

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