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But she's
Published on June 27, 2004 By dharmagrl In Blogging

The more I read about welfare, the left, the right, the politics, the war.....the madder I get.  I had said a couple of weeks ago that Dharma-The-Blunt was going to make her appearance more and more often, and she's been doing so.  Not in a mean way, I've jusy been asking questions about things that I think are relevant...but my comments have been deemed "petty" and have been deleted.

So, seeing as I have my own blog in which to air my opinions, that is exactly what I intend to do.  Be warned, some people might find the following statements offensive.  I don't care.  I'm done treading lightly around certain topics.

So, let's start with disability.  I'm all for people who really do have medical problems, and who cannot support themselves being given a helping hand.  Notice I said a helping hand, not a hand-out.  I see people who have horrible conditions that make each and every day of their lives excruciatingly painful working full time and supporting themselves.  I see people who have conditions that are fatal pressing on and refusing to let themselves be defined by the disease and illnesses they have.  I see and know people who are missing limbs, who have a diminished mental capacity, who are confined to wheelchairs, all working full time or part time, all taking care of (or making a concerted effort to take care of) themselves. Yes, some of them are on supplimental disability, but they're at least making an effort to look after themselves.  

I also see people who are content to be on disability for the rest of their lives, who have absolutely no intention of going back to work and trying to support themselves. 

Next, let's talk about welfare.  I've written about this before, but this still makes me mad...there are people who are perfectly content to keep churning out kids in order to receive a mothly payment for that child.  There are people who will play the system and who will make sure they have a child under that age of 3 living at home with them so they don't have to go to work to 'earn' their TANF. There are people who will keep on having kids so that even when the TANF runs out they still get a stipend for all the kids living in their household. There are people who will use their Food Stamp cards to purchase name brand items, who are eating steak twice a week, when me and my family are eating tuna helper and ramen noodles and drinking store brand sodas.  Not because we have to, not because we're trying to make ends meet, but because we're being frugal with OUR OWN MONEY.  OUR MONEY, that my husband serves his country to earn. OUR MONEY, that we're trying to save so that we can one day be self sufficient.  I've had sarcastic comments thrown at me (like "oh, how noble of you") when I blogged about trying to shop frugally to see just how much it costs to feed a family of 4 a week....why?  Because I'm trying to show that it can be done? That people who are on Food Stamps get to spend more on food than those of us who earn our own money?

I have been accused in the past of 'riding the gravy train' myself because I don't work, because I choose to stay at home and raise our children.  Let me explain something to you:  I'm not taking a government handout.  I work for my husband's paycheck as well.  I may not be the one who puts on the uniform, who deploys to foreign lands, but my children and I make just as many sacrifices as he does. What do you think, that stay-at-home mom's sit on their asses watching soap operas and eating bon-bons all day?  Wrong.  I'm lucky, because we can afford for me to stay home and raise our kids.  How do we afford it?  By living at, if not slightly below our means.  If it was a choice between my having to go back to work to make ends meet or taking welfare.....well, there wouldn't be a choice. I'd go back to work.  I have injuries that would qualify me for disability - I'll be specific, I don't care who knows - I have a herniated L2 disc and arthritis in both L1 and L2 vertebrae, which makes it painful for me to sit and stand for extended periods of time, limits the amount of weight I can lift and carry, causes me to have weakness in my left leg, gives me sometimes excruciating pain because of the neurological damage that's been done.  My neurologist has advised me many times in the past that I would qualify for at least partial if not full disability if I cared to apply for it.  I don't care to.  I'm still capable of working, so I will.  I'm trying to better myself, and I'm doing so with OUR money.  No grants or loans, with OUR money.

Now on to the war......I'm mad.  Scratch that, I'm furious.  That some people can come out and say that the people who were beheaded deserved what they got for being there in the first place....I find that absolutely disgusting.  That has to be the lowest, most reprehensible thing I have ever heard.  Here's what I really think about Al Queda: they're a bunch of barbaric assholes who deserve to be anhilated.  There is no 'religion of peace' behind what they do, it's a religion of blood and torture and violence.  They will not be satisfied (and they already stated this) until the western world is kneeling in prayer to Allah.  Not me, brother.  I won't be wearing a burkah.  I'm not going to be dictated to like that.  I'd rather be dead than adhere to that particular brand of Islam.

There was going to be more that I was going to rant about, but I've run out of steam for now.  Like I said, there are going to be some folks who don't like what I had to say.  I don't care.  Oh, and just so you know, I'm not afraid to use the blacklist feature either.  I welcome logical, sensible, debate, but you make it personal or come out with some unsubstantiated bullshit that you can't back up with unbiased stats....consider yourself blacklisted.


Comments (Page 1)
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on Jun 27, 2004
So, seeing as I have my own blog in which to air my opinions, that is exactly what I intend to do. Be warned, some people might find the following statements offensive. I don't care. I'm done treading lightly around certain topics.


Oh sure, post a great article like this just as I'm ready to sign off! But I WILL be back....and I have a few things to say as well....and I'm in the mood for a good debate today. so let's hope you get some other comments before I get back....
on Jun 27, 2004
Thanks, I am as well.  I'll be looking for you!
on Jun 27, 2004
Be warned, some people might find the following statements offensive. I don't care. I'm done treading lightly around certain topics.


The thing is, even when you aren't afraid to take the gloves off, your statements are far from offensive. You give reasons for your opinions, and aren't pissing and moaning either. Nor, are you attacking anyone. Being blunt isn't being bad.... I may not agree with everything you say, but I'm not going to have a screaming match about our differences in opinion. Dharma The Blunt? How about just plain Dharma?
Keep it real!

on Jun 27, 2004
All I can do is pretty much nod, and give you an insightful.
on Jun 27, 2004
I agree. It'll be a ICE COLD damn day in hell before I kneel to their Allah.
on Jun 27, 2004

Nic...I have no problem keeping it real, and I think that you are one of the people I have actually managed to have a reasonable debate with on this forum...I learned something from you about Native heritage the last time we talked about welfare, and I cannot begin to tell you how proud I am of you - not only for bettering yourself for you and Kole, but for having the balls to say 'yeah, I'm on  welfare, but it's not going to be forever'  At least you were honest about it.  There's no shame in that, my sister.

Bakerstreet...I am honored to get an insightful from you!  I read  everything that you write, but I usually don't leave a response because I feel that anything I'd add would sound altogether dull and unenlightened.  I consider you one of the blogging 'giants'.....so I'm very flattered.  Thanks!

 

on Jun 27, 2004
Nah, not at all, I read what you right as well, and agree almost always . I don't think anything you'd add would be dull or unenlightened, you are neither.
lol, and being argumentative doesn't make you a blogging giant. I'm just disagreeable and verbose, lol.
on Jun 27, 2004

I'm just disagreeable and verbose, lol


But you write well thought, structured articles and have the facts and stats to back up what you say.  That always impresses the hell out of me.


 I'm opinionated as well, but up until now have been afraid of stepping on people's toes and offending them.  I have decided, however, that it's pointless having a blog to express my opinion if I'm not going to do that.  So, like it or not, wrong or right, I'm going to start expressing my opinion.


 

on Jun 27, 2004
Okay, I'm back....and I'm a little disappointed to see all the comments so far are from people who agree with you. Maybe you scared the others away with your last paragraph!

Anyhow, I'll just add a few thoughts here:

On disability--I think the entire system needs a fullblown overhaul. I watched my stepfather, who had severe asthma, then developed cancer, and THEN fell off an electrical tower in a work related accident, be denied any sort of benefits for years, while my mother watched mothers get pediatricians to diagnose their children with ADHD so they could draw disability on the CHILD. Thankfully, ADHD is no longer eligible, except in very severe cases....as the mother of a child with ADHD, I was appalled that it was ever otherwise. My child is not disabled, and I certainly don't want to teach her that she is, KWIM? Anyhow, I understand that a screening process is necessary, and all of that, but there needs to be something done to streamline it, and to improve it. I've been trying to come up with something more concrete, but without knowing all the ins and outs of the system as it stands, that's not really possible.

Welfare--what else can I say? I think you covered it fairly well. I grew up in an area where being on Welfare was a "family tradition" for a lot of people, so I've seen a lot of crazy stuff...abuse of the system, a feeling of entitlement, daughters dreaming of the day they had a baby and got their own check....lots of things that pushed me to get my education and move on with life, to someplace where I didn't have to live surrounded by that way of thinking.

Stay at home moms--I've heard a lot of negative comments about it, as well....and I've learned to let it roll off my back. In my case, people accuse me of marrying DH to get someone to support me and my children, since none of them are his, biologically. Excuse me? I have a degree in elementary education, with a certification in kindergarten, and I have years of experience. If I WANTED to, or if I HAD to, I could find a job and be bringing in money in no time. But this is a partnership, and we agreed that, for now, my part is to raise the children and provide a comfortable home for the family...a safe haven from the insanity of the outside world, if you will. And I work my tail off most days to make that happen....between the cleaning, the laundry, the cooking, the running to the school for whatever reason, running errands, taking care of the pets.....and still working in time to post here, of course!

The war.....I'm torn on this one. I wasn't happy we went over to Iraq, but once we did, then it was time to put the doubt away and support the troops, period. And NO ONE deserves to be savagely murdered the way these kidnap victims have been, regardless of the fact that it's been a part of the Middle Eastern culture for thousands of years. It's brutal, it's inhumane, and it's just plain WRONG. And, like you, I have absolutely ZERO desire to wear a burkah, stay out of sight, speak when spoken to , and be owned by my husband.....thanks, but no thanks!!
on Jun 27, 2004

The thing that I find most disturbing about the disability issue is that I think that people are taking the easy way out sometimes.  Take Karma, for instance (sorry to drag you into this, Karma, but you're the best example I can think of for this).  She has lupus, she has rheumatoid arthritis, and is in more pain daily than I care to think about.  She could, if she chose to, sit on her behind and claim disability for the rest of her life.  She doesn't. Little Whip:  she too has rheumatoid arthritis, and she also has hepatitis C.  Yes, she uses food stamps, and she freely admits it...but she also works 6 days a week.  My father:  after 9 heart attacks, 2 quadruple bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, and 2 knee replacements, he carried on working, up until he was 65.  As I said on LW's thread, it seems to me that we have created a society where courage and self-reliance in the face of adversity are the exception rather than the norm. 

As for welfare, the same thing applies:  it's becoming a 'family tradition' in some areas.  People can tell me that the welfare reform act says this or says that all they want to...come to Rapid City, SD, and see the welfare recipients cashing their checks at the casino's then drinking and gambling it all away.  Come and see the women living in low income housing popping out kid after kid, rarely with the same father, so they can get that monthly stipend for their child or that child support check. 

Here's another things that pisses me off:  the "the government doesn't do shit for me" attitude.  Since when is the government your parent and your babysitter?  Don't you think you should be held accountable for yourself?  You can't sit on your ass and expect people to do things for you all your life, you've got to pull your thumb out and do it for yourself sometimes.

Ok, I ran out of steam again....but give me a bit and I'll be back with some more stuff that pisses me off.

on Jun 27, 2004
Great post. My wife, like you, is a stay at home mom, and I frequently get the (inane) question "does your wife work?". I always respond with "If I said my wife didn't work, she'd shoot me. But she does stay at home with the kids".

Mebbe we need to phrase our questions better...lol
on Jun 27, 2004
Thankfully, ADHD is no longer eligible, except in very severe cases....as the mother of a child with ADHD, I was appalled that it was ever otherwise. My child is not disabled, and I certainly don't want to teach her that she is, KWIM?


Hear hear. As an adult with ADD (I don't have the hyperactive part, sometimes wish I did), I don't like it being labelled as a "disorder" when it is, in fact, a different way of being wired. Neither good nor bad, just different.
on Jun 27, 2004

If I said my wife didn't work, she'd shoot me. But she does stay at home with the kids

I've been on both sides of the fence.  Until I got badly hurt last year I was working full time ouside the home and being a full time mom, dad, cook, laundress, housemaid, vet, nurse, landscaper, mechanic...the list goes on.  Now I don't work outside the home full time, I stay home with my children.  I think it especially important that I do that now because their dad's gone and we don't live close to family.  For them, I am it. 

 

on Jun 27, 2004
I agree with you completely Dharma, keep speaking your mind! I've been having some of those feelings myself and I'm glad someone came out and said something.

Emma
on Jun 27, 2004

I don't like it being labelled as a "disorder" when it is, in fact, a different way of being wired.

Can the same not be said for clinical depression, then?  I'm not talking about schizophrenia and such, I'm talking about depression. 

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