Add this to the list of things I don't understand

Published on June 17, 2004 By dharmagrl In Misc

I went to the pet store yesterday, mainly to get a crab but also to see the girl that works there.

She was pregnant, and due on June 1st...I knew she must have delivered by now and I wanted to see if my prediction of a baby girl was correct.

It was. She had a little girl, on the 1st, right when she was supposed to. The baby was under 7lbs, the labor was easy, delivery unremarkable. Perfect, right?

Wrong. Her little girl has Down's Syndrome. She was diagnosed with it 3 days after her birth. There was no indication of it during the pregnancy, and Kate did everything she was supposed to do as far as tests, ultrasounds et al are concerned.

I looked at baby pictures whilst I was there, and this baby looks like any other newborn I've seen. I looked for the typical characteristics...low set ears, the almond eyes, the flattened nose, and really didn't see anything that screamed 'Down's' at me....what I did see was a beautiful little girl with her mom's dark hair and an angelic face. A little girl who would, but for that one extra chromosone, been 'normal'.

As for Kate and Danny...well, Kate has a big heart. Nuff said. Danny is still in denial...he says that it would be easier to accept if she looked like a child with Down's, but she doesn't. Neither of them are bad people. They work hard, they don't crap on their fellow man, which makes this harder to take.

Just another thing to add to the long list of stuff I don't understand. I mean, I understand that shit happens, but why does it always happen to nice folks? How often do you see evil people having retarded babies?

This just goes further to reinforce my idea that their either is no god, or if there is, he's sleeping.

Comments (Page 3)

Jay Walker

on Jun 19, 2004

I remember seeing, Wayne W. Dyer Ph.D., renouned author on TV, telling a storey relating to a mentally handicapped child. "How was his son perfect?" the father was asking God. After a time, the father arrived at his own answer - his son was perfect in the reactions that people had to them, adjusting their own thoughts and expectations.

One day, I might tell you a fascinating storey my sister told me about a Down's syndrome person. An incredible storey really. Until then, just let it be said that not everything is as we might think it on the surface. The most remarkable transformations we accomplish as people, are usually becuase of "tough" times - not because we won the lottery and are now on "easy street".

Many God continue to bless your friend ... even if we can't understand it.

skillen

on Jun 19, 2004

I am the father of two very special chldren. They are not perfect by the world's standards (neither am I -- no matter how hard I try to hide it).

I have known some "evil" people who have had "retarded" babies -- the reason you don't hear about it is because "evil" people, by definition, don't care. They aren't burdened by a child that needs more than others because they don't take the responsibility to meet their child's needs (nor would they if their child were not handicapped.)

God is alive and well and the character-building trials we go through are true blessings. I have learned more about myself and others through adversity that I have through the less-challenging times.

In all things, God works for the good of those who love him and are called unto his purposes. Romans 8:28

Hind sight is truly 20/20. I might not have always been happy with my circumstances, but, looking back, I wouldn't change a thing

Emoticon Man

on Jul 03, 2004

Sorry it took me so long to respond to this, but I thought I had saved the link to this article, but didn't find it until now. And I hope I don't sound too preachy, it's just that the subject of God was brought up and it's sort of hard to avoid sounding preachy in these cases. The purpose of this post is to explain a position (one which I happen to share), rather than convert (although, in all honesty, I wouldn't be dissappointed with such a result :oP ) or defend it.

1) My main reason for commenting so late is to point out something that so far has not been mentioned, namely, that the Bible seems to indicate that these bodies are only temporary and that our bodies in heaven will be free of all pain and disease. Thus, while she may have down's syndrome NOW, she won't then.

2) That she was born with down's syndrom isn't God's fault- it's ours (and note that when I say "ours", that I include myself as well). God gave us a good thing, free will, but it's OUR misuse of that gift that brought pain and suffering into the world. What's important about Adam and Eve biting into the fruit wasn't the fruit itself, but what it represented- disobedience to God (in order for there to be free will, there has to be a way for a person to trangress; if it hadn't been a fruit, it would have been something else). Although BigDreamer415 is correct that they screwed it up, that doesn't tell the full story. EACH and EVERY person (except one, and that was a somewhat special case) has confirmed their agreement with their decision by sinning. Thus it is not too far a stretch for God (even if one doesn't take His omniscience into account) to assume that their child would (will?) do so as well.

3) There also seems to be an assumption that there's something "special" about "normal" children. But it is questionable to assert that having a "normal" child is de facto preferable. As far as I can tell, Hitler, Hussein, bin Laden, etc. were "normal" children. Not that I'm saying that their child would have grown up to be like them, but pointing out that having a "normal" child is no guarentee against heartbreak. If their child grows up to be a loving, caring person, isn't that more important than whether she has down syndrome or not? If people consider their child a disappointment, maybe the problem isn't with the situation, but with their reaction to the situation.

4) "It just pisses me off to see people who are basically assholes getting the best things in life and those who are decent, ordinary folks getting crapped on." That all depends on what you consider "the best things in life". Similiarly, "How can evil people who have everything make life more difficult on a child?" can be answered by if they don't have love, then whatever else they give the child isn't worth as much.

5) "A lot of bad shit seems to happen to good people in the name of humility, but bad people don't seem to get punished."
No, a lot of bad shit seems to happen to "good" people because humanity as a whole has chosen to reject God. And just because bad people don't SEEM to be punished doesn't mean that one day that their punishment won't one day be obvious.

6) "Doesn’t it seem that God is more reactive than proactive?" (InfoGeek) The only way God could prevent all evil is to be by removing free will. Yet free will, in and of itself, is a good.
"That's because he wants to teach us all lessons. At least, that what christians say. I can think of better ways to learn a lesson though."
Except in those cases where the subjects are so stubborn that they refuse to learn any other way. That would seem to encompass the entire human race. No matter how many times God tells us to do "x" or don't do "y", we still prefer doing "y" to doing "x".

7) "The Christian concept of God does indeed make the acceptance of such things difficult...." (little_whip)
Maybe for you, but I don't have any problem understanding it.
"Me, i recognize ONE entity of creation."
Speaking as a Christian, I know of only one entity of creation as well. Satan cannot create, he can only destroy (parts of) and twist God's good creation. Dahmer and Hitler (as we all are, but of varying degrees) are examples of the misuse of free will, rather than its proper use as God intended it.

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