I drink alone....

Published on June 2, 2004 By dharmagrl In Misc

..with nobody else. Gotta love George Thorogood, huh?

Yes, I drink alone. No, I'm not an alcoholic. I don't drink every night and I rarely drink to excess, but that's neither here nor there. I drink alone because I find that alcohol removes what I like to call my 'truth filter'. I like to think of myself as a somewhat tactful person, and when I've had a few drinks that vanishes. I'm blunt...painfully so sometimes. So, in order to maintain friendships and relationships, I drink alone. Occasionally I'll make an exception and have a few with really close friends....those who I've already spoken my mind to or who I know won't take offence to my lack of tact, but for the most part I don't get inebriated in public, or even with acquaintances.

The reason I blog about this now is because I'm drinking. Tonight. Right now, actually. I re-read my blogs, and in my alcohol-fuzzy state was really tempted to edit and re-post them, this time with names. I read some other people's stuff and was again tempted to leave comments, this time saying what I felt in a much less...errmm...nice way. Luckily (for me) I'm not drunk. I'm not lit. I'm not even buzzed (almost, but not quite). So, I won't do any of that. I'll keep my 'truth filter' firmly in place and be as tactful as I can be, even if what's being said makes me madder than a wet hen.

I highly reccomend that some of you do the same. Even if you haven't been drinking.

Comments (Page 5)

JillUser

on Jun 03, 2004

Reply #51 By: MasonM - 6/3/2004 5:31:44 PM
oh good grief. some people have to take EVERYTHING too seriously.

Including themselves

I for one know that dharma doesn't have any difficulty in saying what is on her mind at any given time without the help of alcohol. I know exactly what is meant about the filter. It is kind of like your words get put through inspection before entering the mouth on a normal basis but the alcohol tells the inspector "take the night off". Words then go straight from brain to mouth much faster than they should.

dharmagrl

on Jun 03, 2004

Words then go straight from brain to mouth much faster than they should.

Exactly.

Gerry Atrick

on Jun 03, 2004

Has anyone ever noticed the similarities between babies and drunks:

Both babble on in some unintelligible language understood only by themselves by always convinced everybody else know what they are talking about

Both seem to be able to regurgitate freely and think it's funny

Both need to concentrate really hard to walk properly

And, when they go too far, they inevitably end up crying for their mother.

Gerry Atrick

on Jun 03, 2004

The above observations are from a lifetime of self analysis......

dharmagrl

on Jun 03, 2004

Hahahaha!! That was good, Gerry!

kingbee

on Jun 03, 2004

i dont know how ive managed to miss this one but the truth filter thing jumped right out at me.

ive been telling friends for years that im missing the filter most people seem to develop about age 7--the one that works like a live broadcast delay--that keeps most people from saying the first thing that comes into their heads. if anything alcohol used to improve the situation slightly. realizing i was impaired caused me to try to avoid blurting out stuff i would otherwise not realized i was going to say until too late. considering i was a pretty scrawny kid, it would seem i woulda had that beat out of me at some point, but no. im still good for a totally inappropriate audible at any solemn occasion right up to and including a funeral. the really scary thing is that ive found myself looking around to find out who just said THAT...only to discover it musta been me.

luckily ju isnt in realtime like some chats.

drink on dharma hahahahahhah

dharmagrl

on Jun 03, 2004

I find it interesting that alcohol improved your truth filter situation (or lack thereof) kingbee. I can understand what you mean though...you have a loose tongue, so to speak, and alcohol, you know, makes it looser...thefore when you're under the influence you keep a tighter grip on it than you do when you're sober. Makes sense.

I wish I had a dime for every time I've let my sober truth filter slip, typed a response, deleted said response and walked away from the thread here on JU. I'd be able to fill up the gas tank on my car with all those dimes, at least! Nowadays I just leave a period as my response...kind of my sign that I was there, that I read and wanted to speak but couldn't think of anything nice or tactful to say. I got that from NickyG, actually. So, if you see a lot of periods posted under my name you now know why.

Gerry Atrick

on Jun 03, 2004

the one that works like a live broadcast delay--that keeps most people from saying the first thing that comes into their heads.

I'm with you kingbee......you are enjoying yourself in a group of people, your guard is down, and the filter shuts down. You say something 'witty' and the group instantly goes silent.....the sound of pins dropping would be positively deafening.....you realise that what you have said came out completely differently to how you meant it. Your brain starts searching desperately for something (anything) that will retrieve the situation. Panic sets in. You try and adjust, explain but only dig yourself in deeper....and what is worse you know the next morning, with pounding hangover in place, the incident will be 10 times worse....the little demon sitting on your shoulder will be whispering in your ear telling you what a dick you are and that none of those present will ever talk to you again....in fact you might as well end it all now.

These days I still say the stupid things, drunk and sober, but now I recognise that, once said, the damage is done and shutup......not much of an improvement but a slight one.

dharmagrl

on Jun 04, 2004

) will not be driving

will not be inflicting our impaired personalities on innocent bystanders, lol
c) will not face judgement or sanctions by sober individuals
d) will not have our actions when intoxicated made fun of the next day by anyone other than ourselves.

And those are all the reasons I choose to drink alone. My husband joins me occasionally too (when he's home)...

As for Miki, I don't know what his problem is. The tampon string on fire quip made me laugh though!

mikimouse

on Jun 04, 2004

hey Dharm I love ya what can I say? But I don't go for alcohol much, never have. I'm a very cheap date. But I'm a big believer in this. When you need alcohol to be able to do something, or to need it to change yourself in some way, or to need it to be able to handle something, it's not good. I just go by what you said. Hey it's good you don't drive drunk and kill kids. You're to be commended. But that doesn't take away from what you laid out as facts. If you had no alcohol your personality would change. That's not very good I don't think. I'm not saying you're an alcoholic or you have major problems, just that if you need booze for personal reasons then maybe it's not so good. If I didn't give a darn I'd humor you like the others do, making jokes about whatever, condoning it. Not me. I've been drinking and am being very forward. Kidding. No hard feelings eh Dharm? Tampon string? I think I should post my family pic. I'm a guy. But you know that I think. Anyways....another troll.

dharmagrl

on Jun 04, 2004

if you need booze

Where did I say I 'needed' it?

I didn't troll you for that one, and I didn't troll you for the last one (and btw, I gave you an 'insightful' yesterday). See, that's the problem, Todd. You assume that you know what I will do - and in order to do that, you have to know me. You don't know me, you know what I choose to show you...and that's why I took your comments as jokes because in order to come to those conclusions you'd have to know me. And you don't.

MasonM

on Jun 04, 2004

When you need alcohol to be able to do something, or to need it to change yourself in some way, or to need it to be able to handle something,

Miki: She never said she "needed" alcohol for anything. Perhaps you should re-read her article without your personal bias in place. The word "need" appears nowhere in it.

If I didn't give a darn I'd humor you like the others do, making jokes about whatever

A rather insultingly patronizing statement. Did it occur to you that:
1. Jokes are jokes, intended for the sake of humor.
2. Agreement and "humoring" are hardly the same thing?

But then, I suppose that any viewpoints other than your own are obviously either wrong or false. I wonder if it's possible for you to voice your opinions on a subject without being condescending or trying to tell others what they "should do" or "shouldn't do"?

To tell the truth, it isn't your opinions that people object to, but more the way you present them. You seem to display some need to tell other people that they are wrong, doing wrong, thinking wrong, or that they are somehow inferior to you. Try re-reading some of your statements in your replies from an objective viewpoint (if you're capable of it) and you may begin to see what I mean.

mikimouse

on Jun 04, 2004

look I'm sorry of you don't like me. I was 1/2 kididng about the trolling me. My points lost almost 1600!!??!! in one day. Brad mentioned he's worth 100 points if he decised to troll me. SO I assume you're worth twice as many. That's all. And, mind you, I DID touch a nerve on an earlier thread. Thanks for the insightful by the way. Look at it my way. You're an Air force wife, likely alone a lot, likely missing your husband a lot, that's a cocktail, IN MY MIND, for someone to have a problem if they drink a lot. Now you said, TO MY EYES, that you use alcohol to change your personality. That, combined with your personal situation, made me hope you're not the case I envision. I like you a lot. You're interesting. Booze can ruin and destroy. I just don't want that for you. Just keep it in check for yourself. Peace.

mikimouse

on Jun 04, 2004

*sigh* mason get off my back eh? Brownie points..

mikimouse

on Jun 04, 2004

I say things for real, no humor, no cajole, no fronts. what's wrong with that. And you said it. It's the way I say it. That doesn't change what it is I'm saying. SOrry for being crass in your opinion.

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