Down in the dumps..

..and I don't know why.

Published on March 26, 2004 By dharmagrl In Misc

I'm having a bad day today.

I'm just in a crappy mood. Nothing fits right, and everything is pissing me off or making me blue. I looked at my monroe this morning and thought that maybe I don't like it as much as I thought I would...got to second guessing myself that maybe I'm too old for it, maybe my kids were right, perhaps I should be more mainstream. I've resisted the temptaion to take it out....because that will tick me off even more when I get over this mood and realize that I really did like it and that I just threw away $50 getting it done. I've tried meditating and found that I couldn't get the hang of it today (the constant interruption from my kids doesn't help much- there's no school today). I miss my husband...we talked briefly this morning but I still miss him. I want a hug, I want to be held and told it's all ok, that soon enough we'll be done with this separation and we'll be on the next leg of our journey together. Obviously, that's not going to happen (the hug, I mean)

I think I'm hormonal. I don't like it. I can feel the 'real' me fighting to get out, to break through this fog of gloom like a ray of sunshine...

I think I'm going to go clean. Perhaps taking my frustrations out on the bathtub and kitchen floor will help ease my angst...

Comments (Page 1)

Dan Kaschel

on Mar 26, 2004

I'm sorry. Keep the faith, and the sun will break through the clouds eventually. Meanwhile, you're amongst friends.

~Dan

imajinit

on Mar 26, 2004

(((((((((((((((((((((((dharmagrl))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

"everything's going to be ok"

(i know all about long separations due to the military, believe me)

dharmagrl

on Mar 26, 2004

Having taken a moment of self reflection, I think I know what the problem is.

I'm cluttered. Not emotionally per se, but physically. I have waaaaay too much stuff. I looked around the house as I was on my way to clean the tub, and it came to me: I have junk, junk, and more junk laying around, and that's what's pissing me off. I can't stand clutter, I really, really can't. I like simplicity, I like neatness...but from looking at my house today you'd never be able to tell that.

So, I'm having a yard sale next weekend. I'm getting rid of a bunch of junk. And, instead of hanging on to anything that doesn't get sold like I usually do, I'm taking it to the Salvation Army store. I'm also going to list some stuff on eBay..things that I know might not sell at the yard sale but are valuable anyway (like all my Bianchi gear from my duty belt; there's close to $200 worth of equipment on there).

I'm done being cluttered. I've clean swept myself emotionally and spiritually, now I think I need to let my external environment reflect what I'm feeling inside.

dharmagrl

on Mar 26, 2004

Awww....you guys are sooo sweet!

Thank you so much, I needed that........

{{{{{{{{{{{MJ}}}}}}}}}}

{{{{{{{{{Dan}}}}}}}}}

right back at ya, babes....

limeandlimpid

on Mar 26, 2004

My Granny always said "the way to keep from being down in the dumps.... is not to live in one." She made me clean her houe every Saturday. She was never down.

dharmagrl

on Mar 26, 2004

the way to keep from being down in the dumps.... is not to live in one

See, that's what I was talking about. The main source of my frustration today is the clutter...but I'm getting there. I cleared out the kitchen cabinets already, now I'm on to the bed and bathrooms..

Dan Kaschel

on Mar 26, 2004

I'm glad you feel better. And that you found the source- long-term solutions are best.

Take it easy.

~Dan

Tangled Wishes

on Mar 26, 2004

I hate cleaning. I hate clutter, too, mind you, but I just can't stand cleaning. My room tends to turn into a sty very quickly, but I think I've found the solution.

I'm doing pilates and yoga now, and when my room is messy there just isn't enough floor space to spread out. I end up kicking things, or sticking my hands into a pile of clothes, or sitting on a pen... And it isn't pleasant. So now I'm forced to clean my room up and it makes me happy because once it's clean I get to exercise!!!

It doesn't sound like you have a problem with liking to clean, though. And I'm pretty sure you don't have all of your possessions in one room. But that's my college way of cleaning... I have to do something utterly sucky to do something totally awesome.

~Anne!

dharmagrl

on Mar 26, 2004

I'm not the only one who feels this way, apparently. My daughter is complaining of the same thing.

So, we're having the yard sale tomorrow instead, while we're still motivated to get stuff done. I'm afraid that if I wait a week I won't feel like it anymore, and will get caught up in the frustraion/flurry of activity/let down cycle..and then nothing will ever get done.

I'm striking whilst the iron's got, so to speak.

crimson

on Mar 26, 2004

Dharma, I don't know what it's like where you are at, but here it's cloudy, rainy, cool, and the dampness is making my ankle ache. I've got a minor hangover, am unsettled emotionally, and just want to go to bed. What is it? I don't think cleaning will help for me... maybe just a bit of time away from my troubles.

dharmagrl

on Mar 26, 2004

It was sunny, but we have a storm coming in and now it's overcast and windy.

"Unsettled emotionally"...yeah, that's exactly as I would have described myself earlier. I had (have still, a little) all this nervous energy, and I don't know why.

Damp does that to you too, huh? It always makes my knee ache.

JillUser

on Mar 26, 2004

I am right on track with you ladies. I would describe myself as more like cranky today. Hormonal maybe. My fuse feels short. I have a lot of organizing to do in my house and am overwhelmed with laundry. I feel out of control when my house isn't in order.

It is warm but rainy and gloomy here. Good sleeping weather. I get achy where I had broken my leg just below the knee.

Best of luck with your sale! Maybe you will even recoupe your Monroe money

dharmagrl

on Mar 26, 2004

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking...last time I had a sale I made over $100..!! I'm not taking it out (the monroe), I'm going to leave it and get a much smaller one next week. I'm getting used to it.....

Suspeckted

on Mar 26, 2004

I may have mentioned this, but I woke up crabby for no reason today....and it sucked. I think I'm finally out of the funk, but seriously that was annoying as hell. I wish my lady friend was hear to listen to me whine...and maybe rub these shoulders a little bit....yeah, that would be sweet.

dharmagrl

on Mar 26, 2004

I knew something was up; something was going to happen!!!

We had a huge thunderstorm here this afternoon,with large hail and high winds.. followed closely by a tornado (first of the season) that actually touched down about 15 miles from here.

Now it's all over I feel much calmer and less irritable....I think I should hire myself out to the local weather station as an early warning system!!

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