No reprieve.

Published on January 18, 2006 By dharmagrl In Misc

There will be no reprieve for my husband. He's going to have to deploy this spring.

He'll be leaving to go to a three week training in New Jersey in a couple of weeks, then he'll be home for three weeks, then gone again.....for 6 months.

The good news is that he won't be going to Iraq. He might also get an opportunity to work about half of his deployment in a location that pays $100 a day per diem. If that's the case....then he's already said that money will be used to purchase plane tickets to England for Christmas this year and the rest will be spent on the Harley we've been hankering after. The money won't make up for another summer spent apart, of course...but it will give us something to look forward to, a goal at the end of yet another deployment. It will certainly soften the blow.

I talked to his bosses this morning. They were all afraid I was going to have a meltdown and kept apologizing for him having to leave again. I'm not mad at them; it's not their fault. The person who dropped out of the deployment is getting court martialed for his offences, and you know what, JU? I'm going to attend it. I'm going to sit in court and watch him get rank and privileges taken away from him; I'm going to sit there and be a constant reminder of just how many people his actions affected. (Once the court martial is over I'll be able to tell you what happened (and I can't wait to do just that). For now, I have to keep my mouth shut. All I can say is that I TOLD D to watch out for the Poison Dwarf; I read her like a freakin' book. He watched out. Other people didn't.)

So, my love is leaving again. It hurts to have to prepare to say 'see you later'. It hurts to be apart, to go to sleep at night with the person you love and cherish above all others on the other side of the world from you. It just hurts, all of it.

We're going to cram as much living as we possibly can into the next few weeks. We're going to abandon our diets and eat what we want, we're going to go on as many dates as we can and have as many family outings as we can; we're going to cherish our family dinners together and we're going to try to take advantage of any opportunities to hold hands or say 'I love you' because we know that there will be a time coming soon when we won't be able to do that.

I love him. I don't want him to leave. But I know that he has to. It's part of being in the military; it's part of the life that we have chosen for ourselves. It's part of being a Air Force wife.

Comments

foreverserenity

on Jan 18, 2006

I'm glad he's not going to Iraq. I'm also glad you're being as supportive as you always are, that makes it so much easier for him. You're a wonderful wife and I know he truly appreciates you.

Hugs and best wishes to you and your family Dharma!

JillUser

on Jan 18, 2006

Sorry about the deployment. Sounds like you have a good attitude toward it though. I don't blame you a bit for wanting to be at the court martial.

MarcieMoo

on Jan 18, 2006

*sighs*

Six months. I don't know how you do it K and D. I honestly don't.

I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Dr Guy

on Jan 18, 2006

And this speaks volumes of how proud you are of him. This is one of the best articles I have read about deployment. Dont get me wrong, all are good, as they are heartfelt. But you are the backbone of the our military. And why they can deploy. Because of people like you determined to make it right. For yourself and for them.

You are the model of the Military Spouse. I knew that before, but you should be recognized for it as well.

Locamama

on Jan 18, 2006

That's bad news but I'm glad that you are able to make the best of it. Your visit home at the holidays will be something to look forward too. I'm sure you'll keep busy with your medical transcription classes and the kids and hopefully that will help the time pass quickly.

You definately have the right idea. Enjoy every moment you have together until then. Hey and a bonus is that after they've been away they miss you so much and appreciate you so much more when they come home.

terpfan1980

on Jan 18, 2006

I hope the time passes quickly once he leaves, and slowly until then.

I salute you, TW, and all of the other fine people affected by military deployments and life with spouses in the military. You guys put up with more stress than anyone should ever be subjected to. Hopefully though it will be over for you guys soon and you can use the time that follows to make your relationship the kind you are striving for.

Daiwa

on Jan 18, 2006

I didn't have to deploy during my 2 years+ in the Navy, but most of my neighbors did. Their spouses never complained and most spent the time helping each other. At the time, it was sort of SOP & no big deal, but I know better now how tough it was for them. Enjoy every minute of the time you have before he goes, girl.

And thanks to you for the love and support you give him.

Cheers,
Daiwa

dharmagrl

on Jan 19, 2006

I'm glad he's not going to Iraq. I'm also glad you're being as supportive as you always are, that makes it so much easier for him.

Me too! That would have multiplied the stress by a thousand!

I know that my being supportive makes it easier, and I try to put my own needs aside at times like this and concentrate on what he needs instead. Like I told his bosses yesterday, I'm going to do whatever needs to be done to facilitate his leaving. I'm not a little girl, I'm not going to have a tantrum over this. I'm just going to make the best of the situation and press on.

I don't blame you a bit for wanting to be at the court martial.

Thanks, I'm glad that someone understands it. I just want to see him go down, you know? That will give me a lot of satisfaction.

I don't know how you do it K and D. I honestly don't.

Neither do we. if we though about it, marcie, we'd be so overwhelmed we'd be useless. So, we just get on with the job at hand. It's all we can do.

But you are the backbone of the our military. And why they can deploy. Because of people like you determined to make it right. For yourself and for them.
You are the model of the Military Spouse.

I dunno about that...being the model spouse I mean. I don't go to tea parties, I don't do bake sales or attend the spouses club meetings. I'm not about the fluff and pomp, I'm about gettin on with the nitty gritty. I figure if I can give him peace of mind about the home situation, I've done my job.

((dharma))

Right back at ya, babe. I know you're having a hard time right now.

Hey and a bonus is that after they've been away they miss you so much and appreciate you so much more when they come home

This is true. If I can make the last few weeks here happy ones, he's more likely to miss me when he's gone - which leads to awesome reunions.

I salute you, TW, and all of the other fine people affected by military deployments and life with spouses in the military. You guys put up with more stress than anyone should ever be subjected to. Hopefully though it will be over for you guys soon and you can use the time that follows to make your relationship the kind you are striving for

Thank you. We're looking forward to retirement....then all of this will be over.

Enjoy every minute of the time you have before he goes, girl.

I intend to - and it's really good to see you on my blog!

dynamaso

on Jan 19, 2006

Dharma, hugs to you and yours from me too.

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!