My marriage hasn't been too great lately. 

That might come as a shock to some of you, but there are a few who either knew or saw it coming.

The military's enforced separations are taking a toll on us.  People change, and thay change constantly.  When you're living together you might not see these change - they work their way into your lives silently and go unnoticed.  You just adapt, and you do so without realizing that you've done it.

But when you live apart from someone for extended periods of time on a regular basis......those changes come as a shock and often times seem like big barriers that have been planted smack dab in the middle of your relationship.

That's what happened to us.  We've lived apart more than we've lived together for the past 2 years, and we've both changed in lots of ways (too many to number here).  There are barriers in our relationship, and we're having difficulty getting around them.

I could give up.  I could say 'screw this' and go and find someone else, someone who will treat me the way I want to be treated and who won't bitch at me all the time.  He could decide that he prefers the single life, and he could move out.  We could legally separate, then file for divorce a few months down the road.  We could both throw our hands up and admit defeat.

But we won't.  I won't.  Why?  Because this marriage is the only one I've got.  He's the only husband I've got.  I'm not going to waste my time looking for another one, a replacement....I'm going to invest my time and energy into this one.  I'm going to make it as good as I can, I'm going to do my best to make things work.  I'm not going to let the barriers and the separations beat me.  I will not admit defeat. 

He's the only husband I've got, and this is the only marriage I've got.  I'm not giving up on either of them. 

'I will go down with this ship
I won't put my arms up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love, and always will be...'

Dido, 'White Flag'