I got a letter today from a local hospice, asking me if I could attend the upcoming volunteer training in February.
I first contacted them last year asking about volunteer opportunities, but for ome reason or another I've never been able to attend. Either Dave's been gone, I've been too ill to attend, I haven't been able to find a sitter...there have just been a myriad of reasons keeping me from attending.
This next one, though....this one I can go to. It's on two Saturdays, from 8am to 4pm. That's a lot of training, which gives me hope that this facility actually treats their volunteers well, not just like a warm body to fill a space (which is how a lot of places regard people who volunteer). Anyway, Dave's going to be home (he said that he's willing to take leave if need be so that I can attend) and I don't have anything going on on both those weekends, so...I'm going to go.
I think that I'd be good at this. I think that I can provide not only a willing and compassionate ear, but a broad shoulder for people to lean on. Hospice volunteering isn't just about the patient, you see. It's also about families and friends of the patient. Sometimes the best help you can give someone is simply to listen and to be there for them, to give them a shoulder to cry on and a hand to hold....and I think that I'm pretty good at that.
The people that are in the hospices I'm hoping to volunteer for are there because they're terminally ill and can no longer be provided adequate care at home. They're not there because they're getting better; this isn't a rehabilitation center. They're there because they're dying. That's rough on people; knowing that you're going into this facility to end your days. It's rough on the family too...I can't imagine the feelings that accompany such a decision. My reason for volunteering isn't to somehow save someone's life, to make them feel so much better that they no longer need to be there and they can go home and live their life....my aim is to somehow make an incredibly painful process a little bit easier. If I can make a difference simply by listening, by talking with someone, or by simply offering them a hand to hold or the comfort of another human's touch, then I will have achieved my goal. If I can brighten someone's day just by being there when I said I'd be there; if I can give someone some comfort simply by holding their hand or giving them a hug; if I can restore someone's faith in humanity simply by being kind and compassionate....then I will have achieved my goal.
I know that there will be times when volunteering at this hospice will cause me pain. I know that, and I'm prepared for that (as prepared as anyone can be, that is. I don't think any of us is ever fully prepared for the death of another). But I hope too that volunteering will bring me satisfaction....and maybe even joy. I'm prepared for that too.
I've volunteered in a lot of places and in many different capacities, but I've never volunteered in a hospice before. The closest I've ever come to counseling someone after a death is when I was working at the legal office and Earl came in to sort out his wife's affairs after her death. He was very upset, so I got him some coffee and sat holding his hand as he told me about his wife and about their life together. When he left, I gave him a hug and really expected that to be the last of it.....so when he showed up the next day with some pictures that he had hand drawn for me and a letter of thanks I was completely taken by surprise. Surprised, but pleased and very touched by his thoughtfulness. That's the kind of joy I spoke of earlier - the joy of knowing that my words and actions made a difference to someone else.
There really isn't anything more satisfying than that.