The latest separation is almost over.  Dave will graduate from the Academy tomorrow and will drive home the day after. 

This TDY has been a tough one.  The frequent separations have finally started to take their toll on us, and we've pretty much bickered the last 6 weeks away.  He's done stuff I don't like, I've done stuff he doesn't like, old hurts have been brought to the forefront of our minds by new problems...it's really sucked.

Last night we had a talk about things.  For the first time in ages, we talked without complaining or placing blame.  We didn't argue, we didn't fight, and we didn't whine.  We TALKED.  We figured out that this is the third time this year that Dave's been gone.  He went to Silver Flag to learn desert warfare in February for 3 and a half weeks, then he left for the Middle East in March.  He came back in July so he could help me recuperate from surgery, and actually stayed home for 3 1/2 months before leaving for the Academy.   He's not on the list to deploy in February, but he is an alternate  (which means that if one of the E-6's on the deployment roster drops out for any reason, Dave will have to step in and take his place).  we figured out that since January 1st, 2005, he has spent roughly 4 months at home.  That means he's been gone 2/3's of the year. 

He says that he doesn't feel like he lives with us, that he feels like he's just visiting when he's home.  I can understand why he'd feel like that, because I feel the same way.  Him being gone is our 'normal'.  Him being home is not 'normal'.

So, we're looking at his return this week as our fresh start.  We've both laid out our feelings and greivances, we've both decided that yes, we do love each other and that yes, this relationship is worth fighting for.  We're going to try and adopt a new method of living...I'm going to find him things to do to around the house so he doesn't feel like he's just a visitor, and he's going to try and dull his tongue a little.  We're going to make time for us.  We're so used to doing things as a family, with the kids, that we've neglected our alone time.  The last time we went out for a meal without the kids was when we went to lunch on our wedding anniversary back in January.  That's sad, and that's going to change.  A LOT of things are going to change, and ALL of them will be for the better.  We're going to try and re-connect, we're going to try and make this relationship better and stronger than it's ever been.

This separation is almost over, and the next chapter of our lives is about to begin.  I can't wait to see how it turns out.