When the kids were babies, Dave and I decided that we wanted to raise free thinking, independent children.  We wanted them to NOT go with the flow, to think for themselves, to not be afraid to be different, to challenge the status quo if they felt they had a better plan.

We succeeded....but our plan might have backfired on us.  Everything we want to do, we have to argue our case over.  There is no 'because I said so' in our house.  We have to rationalize and justify everything, because they're always challenging us.  They do it respectfully, they never forget that they are the children and we are the parents...but still we have to respond to their challenges.

They're currently challenging the staus quo regarding fashion.  Shea has always had punk tendencies, but lately she's really been experimenting with different looks.  She took my red converse a while back and made them her own, and she pestered me to buy her a pair of black pants with zippers all over them and plaid inlays.  As it happens I found the exact same pair for $3 at the thrift store, so she got her pants.  She's put holes in all her jeans, has a penchant for black nail polish and, if the school would let her she'd wear black eyeliner every day.

I don't mind.  I fully support her expressing her individuality.

But now her brothers want in on the action.  Davey wore eyeliner all weekend.  He painted his fingernails black this evening, and he says that he wants to get rid of all his basketball jersies and but black and plaid shirts instead. He asked me if I would dye his hair permanently black (hell no...I can deal with green or blue streaks in it, but not all over black), but he balked when I suggested he get a mohawk.  Even a faux hawk is too extreme for him. He too wants a pair of black converse.  Jake wants me to paint his fingernails for him, and he, again, wants a pair of converse. 

I don't have an issue with them being this way...but their dad will.  They boys used to want me to paint their toenails when they were small, and Dave detested that.  I don't think that the passage of time will have softened him up any on the cosmetics for boys front.  I think he's going to have a fit when he hears about his sons and their desires.  I also think that if he does he's forgotten how he was as a teen.

See, Dave grew up in the '80's.  He was a GnR freak, he grew his hair long, wore tight ripped jeans and cowboy boots - very expensive boots, I might add.  He paid $360 for a pair once - he wore them to graduate in, to get married to me in, and when both boys were born.  I was in labor with Davey and we had to turn around and go home so that Dave could put on his boots.  He had a leather jacket, wore a bandana in his hair...looked like a regular Axel Rose. 

So Dave really ought to understand what it's like to be a teen and pre-teen, to want to express yourself and feel that the only way you can do that is via your appearance.  I know I do.  I recall it all too well.  I recall fights with my parents that put a wedge between us that lasted for years.  All over hair and clothes.  I swore I wouldn't do that with my kids, and I meant it.  I won't. 

I'm going to have to put my money where my mouth is and support my children's decisions when it comes to their appearence.  I'm also going to have to have a chat with my husband and ask him to do the same. 

This is how we said were going to parent our kids.  We've achieved that, so now we're going to have to live with the consequences of it.