Dear Marguerite

I won't tell you again

Published on November 15, 2005 By dharmagrl In Humor

From: God Almighty
To: Margeuritte Perrin
Date: November 10, 2005
re: Appearance on Trading Spouses.

Per our discussion over the last several months and in view of your apperance on Trading Spouses, it has been decided that we are suspending your Membership in the God Warrior club.

As I previously stressed to you in your nightly prayers, I am a God of Love and Forgiveness, and I do not wish to have myself nor any of my staff portrayed as vengeful and furious. This is not the image that I want portrayed.

The damage you have caused to our media presentations is incalcuable. It will take many months to repair the damage caused by your uncalled for displays of bad temper. The fact that you claimed to do it on MY behalf makes it all the more appalling.

Further more, I do not inhabit appliances, drawings of stars or cement gargoyle statues. True I am the creator of the base elements used to produce these items but I do not assign any particular power to them, be it good or evil, nor do I plan to.

In addition, I was particularly distressed to see your treatment of of the Flisher children and later your own, in your zest and zeal to only portray your role as a warrior sent by me. I am in charge of these children's souls. I know their hearts, rest assured whether they attend church or not is immaterial. Jesus and I, both, love them all.

Since, you assured me in confidence that you would not accept monetary compensation for appearing on the program, but would turn the proceeds over to me, yet did not, I have no choice but to suspend your membership for a period of no less than one year. You may keep the money, I have more than sufficient funds, and you and your family appear to need them. I am, after all, not a trifling God.

During that time you will seek out and accept psychiatric services and follow the recommended course of treatment. You will not use my name in vane. You will treat your children with love and affection and will not continually quiz them about astrology, tarot cards nor hypnotism. I have that covered, thank you very much. You will reframe from attending any of my franchise locations during this time period. Your family, may attend as they feel fit.

You may update me via voice mail and email but at the present time, until I am less angry, I would rather not speak to you in person.

I have contacted the Flishers and offered apologized to them on our behalf. If you harrass them in any manner, including prayer, I will know about it.

Believe me, Margaritte, when I tell you that I will roast you like a weenie at a Saturday Church Social if you disobey and defy me in any way as stated above. Try me if you wish, but you will NOT live to regret it.

Consider this your final warning.

Sincerely, God Almighty.

(I didn't write this, and if I could be sure of who did I'd happily give them credit...)

Comments

UBoB

on Nov 15, 2005

Being a devout atheist I can honestly say I have no idea to whom the "From:" line pertains.

However, the content of the letter makes me happy inside.

Thanks for posting.

SSG Geezer

on Nov 15, 2005

If you saw this on the original "trading Spouses" show or just the insane part on E's talk Soup, you know this woman is a complete whackaloon.
I saw her on Talk Soup and laughed my ass off. (homonyms kill funny bits like this though. Vane~vain)

dharmagrl

on Nov 15, 2005

However, the content of the letter makes me happy inside. Thanks for posting.

Welcome. I had the same reaction.

If you saw this on the original "trading Spouses" show or just the insane part on E's talk Soup, you know this woman is a complete whackaloon.

Oh yeah. Haldol is MUCH needed in the Perrin house, I think.

Someone alert me if they ever play a re-run of the episode, I've never watched the show but I'm sorry I missed this particular one!

You can see some of the highlights here. http://www.fox.com/tradingspouses/ There was a LOT more in the show.....she had a screaming freak-out fit. It was really quite funny...I made my throat sore the day afterwards screeching "she's not a CHRISTIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!" and "gargiles!! slagkicks!!!! darkSIDED!!!!!". Apparently I can do a good Margueriute impression.

Dr Guy

on Nov 16, 2005

Hehehehehe. Great one!

UBoB

on Nov 18, 2005

slagkicks!!!!

Ohhhh, so that's what she was saying. I couldn't quite make it out from the video. :

:

I originally thought she was trying to say psychics, and in her psychotic state just mispronounced it.

BTW, what *is* a slagkick? :

: Check out the song Slagkick (Remix) here: Link

P.S. A rewrite of an 80's song lyric: Shooting at ungodly slagkicks Bang Bang I am the Warrior.

nikeelee1

on Nov 21, 2005

ok, i just saw thing was circling the blogs. i wrote that thing on the trading spouses message boards..there was actually two of them. one to the flisher family from God appologizing for the whole thing and this one. i though if i was God and i were a supervisor, what would i say?

dharmagrl

on Nov 21, 2005

, i just saw thing was circling the blogs. i wrote that thing on the trading spouses message boards..there was actually two of them. one to the flisher family from God appologizing for the whole thing and this one. i though if i was God and i were a supervisor, what would i say?

Cool...ladies and gentlemen, meet the very talented writer of this piece!

Thanks for letting me use it, it's hilarious. I'd love to see the one from the family too...can you point me in it's direction?

I originally thought she was trying to say psychics, and in her psychotic state just mispronounced it

she was trying to say psychics. it just came out sounding like slagkicks (and gargiles). with her louisiana accent and her missing tooth, all kinds of things come out sounding different.

Rightwinger

on Nov 21, 2005

missing tooth

I thought it was just a gap, you know, like Alfred E. Neuman.
As a Christian, I can understand to a certain extent where she was coming from. However, as a Christian, I have to say that my wife and myself were both awestruck and horribly embarrassed to see her and her "faith" expressed in such a raging, crazy-eyed way.
People like her do nothing but give reasons to people like you and UBoB make fun of Christians. Seeing her, I'd have to agree with you. She was a complete whackbag.
I liked how she didn't want the "dark-side tainted" money....until, of course, she found out that the "evil" woman had alotted 36 grand for her to have the gastric bypass she wanted. That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we call a hip(p)ocrite.
My pastor said that he didn't care if Satan himself handed him the check; if someone gave him 50 thousand smackers, he'd take it and find a way to put it to God's use.

I missed the first part....I'm curious, did she try to evangelize to these people, as is called for by Jesus, or did she just bully and yell at them?

For the record, I don't think anyone considers this "warrior" to be any kind of a model Christian. She might have made a good Inquisitor, though.

UBoB

on Nov 21, 2005

People like her do nothing but give reasons to people like you and UBoB make fun of Christians.

I apologize, I wasn't trying to make fun of Christians, just that crazy Maggie!

She so craaazy!!

dharmagrl

on Nov 21, 2005

People like her do nothing but give reasons to people like you and UBoB make fun of Christians.

I resent that. I made fun of HER, not her faith. Big difference.

Rightwinger

on Nov 21, 2005

I apologize, I wasn't trying to make fun of Christians, just that crazy Maggie!

---Ubob

I resent that. I made fun of HER, not her faith. Big difference

--dharma

Hey now....I didn't say "you"....I said people "like you". Big difference.

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