I'm so vain

Tears over a haircut

Published on November 15, 2005 By dharmagrl In Misc

I went and got my hair cut today.

I know that some people have a hard time cutting short hair, so I always take a picture with me so that the stylist doesn't have to rely on my half-assed description of what I want, they have a picture to refer to.

The girl that cut my hair this morning had never done it before. She seemed nice enough...a little chatty, perhaps, but I didn't think much of it.

Until she was paying more attention to talking than she was to my hair and took off a big chunk that was WAY shoerter than I wanted it. I like to leave a little bit in front of my ears so I look at least a little feminine. Cutting it off makes me look butch.

She cut it off. And she cut the rest of my hair short too. I mentioned that I didn't want it any shorter than the piece she had just cut, and she said "oh, is it too short?"

"Well, yeah, it is. But you can't glue it back on, so you may as well finish what you've started."

So she did.

I cried half the way home, and I'm sitting here in tears again. I look like a freakin' boy. I'm crying over that, and I'm crying because I'm ashamed. I'm ashamed because I'm crying over my hair. Because I am, apparently, vain. I know I take a pride in my appearance, but I had always thought that I wasn't so shallow that it was the most important thing to me. Apparently, it is.

So, I have boy hair, and I'm vain. I'm also drenched because it's raining hard outside and I got caught in it. My back hurts (the rain does that to me), I miss my husband, and I'm vain.

Who knew that getting a haircut could cause so much introspection?

Comments

Locamama

on Nov 15, 2005

It's okay to be a little bit vain. I don't think you're hugely vain. I always think that I'm not that looks are everything person but then I break out or get a bad haircut or see a picture of myself that I look huge in and I just freak out.

It will be okay. The good thing is that hair grows. There is nothing worse than going to a stylist who just doesn't listen to you. You have to find someone good and stick with her. Ask anyone you think has cute hair who does their hair and then make an appointment with them next time. And tell the new stylist why you're trying them. That you were so impressed with one of their clients hair that you asked for a recommendation. They will be flattered and hopefully do an even better job on your hair.

I'm sure you don't look like a boy. If you want to look feminine have fun. Get a wig. Or some long false eyelashes. Get your eyebrows waxed. Try a new lipstick color. Be a girly girl for a day and wear something frilly and lacey.

Tova7

on Nov 15, 2005

(((D))))

At least you have the cute face to carry off a boy cut. It will grow back soon enough. I know that doesn't make you feel so great right now though.

xtine

on Nov 15, 2005

Awwwww! It's ok to cry, maybe it's not because you're vain, but more disappointed? You had expectations of a great haircut and were let down.

jennybean

on Nov 15, 2005

I can't even tell you how many times I have cried after a bad haircut, then felt even worse that I was so stupid to cry over it. Truth be told, I think hair is a lot more important than you think (to women at least) to your self esteem. It is a huge part of your femininity and if you feel like it looks like a boy cut then you lose a part of that. Locamama was right; "the good thing is that hair grows". Especially when it is short!! It will grow out before you know it. In the mean time, maybe try clipping in some cute barretts? They don't really serve a purpose, but they sure can look cute! And feminine!

dharmagrl

on Nov 15, 2005

but more disappointed? You had expectations of a great haircut and were let down.

You know, that's an excellent way of looking at it. That makes me feel better. Thanks!

It will grow back soon enough

Yeah...in a couple of weeks I'll probably like it.

There is nothing worse than going to a stylist who just doesn't listen to you.

I know! This is the third one who has fucked up my hair...I just can't seem to find anyone who listens to me. I saw an ad for a salon in The Loop in downtown St Louis, and I've heard that they're really good at short, funky hairstyles. Their prices START at $30 for a haircut....but I'm starting to think that it's worth paying the price to get a cut that I like. If I get a really good cut as a basis, I can always go get it trimmed elsewhere...

dharmagrl

on Nov 15, 2005

Die it a bright color, wear dramatic eye makeup and red-red lipstick, get your nails done in cat-claws or something!

I'm going to. I'm going for a bright auburn and I'm going to play with the texture (she razor cut it) as much as I can.

I'll give you a call later, I have to go to the commissary as soon as I finish up here. Thanks, though....for giving a shit, I mean.

dharmagrl

on Nov 15, 2005

can't even tell you how many times I have cried after a bad haircut, then felt even worse that I was so stupid to cry over it. Truth be told, I think hair is a lot more important than you think (to women at least) to your self esteem. It is a huge part of your femininity and if you feel like it looks like a boy cut then you lose a part of that

Ok, now I feel MUCH better. To know that someone else gets why I'm upset about it...that's VERY reassuring.

Oh, and that pic of Annie Lennox with the blonde hair? That's about what mine looks like.

Locamama

on Nov 15, 2005

Dharma, I completely forgot that you have big boobs. How is anyone going to think you're a boy unless they think you are a boy with a major hormone problem. Put on some tiny, tight, low-cut t shirt and work it girlfriend!!!

Dr Guy

on Nov 15, 2005

Dharma, I completely forgot that you have big boobs. How is anyone going to think you're a boy unless they think you are a boy with a major hormone problem.

Sorry for the bad hair cut, but that was a good point by Locamama!

Spc Nobody Special

on Nov 15, 2005

This definitely calls for pictures. I don't think it's uber vain. Hair is a woman's "crowning glory." Hair is sexy. It's one of my favorite features on a woman. I'd be upset too. Then I'd have fun with it. Starting with sneaking up on my stylist and giving her the same cut.

Heh heh. The last time I had to tell them to go ahead and take the rest off my wife refused to look at me without a hat for about three days until I got some stubble back. Averted her eyes and turned her head like she would go blind or something. I love having my hair back again. And like I had to tell myself a lot (military barbers) short hair grows back in fast.

Possible fun things to do with your new cut.

Train it into a high and tight, then great your hubbie at the door when he comes home wearing nothing but combat boots, a BDU top and his dog tags. Fetish central.

Dyeing it is good, but what about a mohawk? Dress up like a 80s girl punk singer.

Go out to the bar or the mall with a girl-friend and pretend to be "the butch half" just to mess with people's minds (or even better yet, the onpost chapel's protestant service)

Try to convince people you got a part as a body double for "ripley" in the next aliens movie.

Talk some of your friends into getting the same cut as you, and set up a "rub my head for a dollar" booth at the px. (excuse me, bx) Donate the money to buy wigs for cancer patients.

Put in outrageous weaves. Try rastafarian dreadlocks, corn rows, or crazy rock star pleats.

Tell strangers a horrible sob story that you've got ovarian cancer and had to have chemo. Take it as far as humanly possible. Get a friend to record their horrified looks/ terrible responses and post them. (okay that one's just plain sick, but very funny, and more than a little enlightening. The way some people treat people with cancer is just insane.)

Sneak into your husband's formation, in uniform, and see how long before someone notices.

Get on a crowded elevator in a skyscraper with a friend, and make up a conversation in which you mention having to have shaved your head due to a persistent lice problem......just after the doors close.

Again, pics please so we can all look at them and tell you it looks okay? Don't worry too much, you're good enough looking that it'll just come out as exotic on you. Hell as thin as you are, you might be able to work the supermodel look.

"Can you lose 10 lbs a day in time for a show Friday next week? We need somebody that weighs 30 lbs and wears a size negative 4. Fabulous baby, fabulous."

Dan Kaschel

on Nov 15, 2005

Something like that happened to me, once. But I guess it was my fault, so I was the one who cut it. And I'm guessing scissors would have been a better tool than a razor blade...

Anyways, sorry you weren't that happy about the outcome, and I'm glad the comments thus far have been proactive. Apparently everybody still loves you, vanity and all.

And of course, Locomama was right; no haircut would ever let you pass as a boy.

Buddha

And if you're ever feelin' blue........

Think of your friend, Waddle-doo!

dharmagrl

on Nov 15, 2005

Apparently everybody still loves you, vanity and all. And of course, Locomama was right; no haircut would ever let you pass as a boy.

Yeah, I see that now, and I'm very touched.

You're wonderful, Spc.

Ditto. Your wife is incredibly lucky to have you.

I think I'm going to try the lice thing the next time I'm in an elevator...

How is anyone going to think you're a boy unless they think you are a boy with a major hormone problem. Put on some tiny, tight, low-cut t shirt and work it girlfriend!!!

Hehehe....I think I'm going to buy a pushup bra to see me through until it grows out a bit.

You guys have really touched me this afternoon.....y'all are fantastic people. Better than therapy.

Dr Guy

on Nov 15, 2005

Get on a crowded elevator in a skyscraper with a friend, and make up a conversation in which you mention having to have shaved your head due to a persistent lice problem......just after the doors close.

Evil! But I love it!

alison watkins

on Nov 15, 2005

Oh, Karen!! I'm sure you look hot, reguardless. There's nothing worse than a stylist that doesn't understand that those pieces need to be there!!

P.S. I got mine cut off the other week!!

MarcieMoo

on Nov 15, 2005

Karen...what's wrong with taking a little pride in your appearance? My hair and my eyes are about all I have going for me, so if I were ever to get a bad haircut, I'm sure I'd be devastated. And...on top of this haircut, you've got D being away, the joys of being a single parent for a few weeks, etc., etc., etc. all piling on top of you right now.

*I* don't think you're vain at all, for whatever that's worth. And I agree that you'll probably be really cool with it in a week or two, as well.

Take care, babylicious. It's good to be back!

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