My husband left for Alabama this morning. 

His departure was heralded by tears on both our parts.  I was crying first, but then he started crying too which made me cry even harder.  It wasn't a pleasant situation....but then again, saying goodbye to the person you love more than anything else is never nice.  We don't say goodbye, anyway...we aways say 'see you later'.  Goodbye is too final, too absolute.  See you later...well, it's true.  We WILL see each other later.

As he was hugging me, he slipped something into my hand.  A coin.  An Air Force spouse's appreciation coin.  Coining is a military tradition, usually done by Chief master Sgts, commanders etc.  Basically, if you done an outsanding job and have been a superior performer, or if you've done something to impress the person with the coins, you'll get one.  Dave has 9, I think, one from the Command Chief of ACC.  That one's a big deal, as is the one he got from the top cop here.  They're all big deals, really....you don't get coined for being a worthless turd or an average performer.

So now, I have a coin.  On one side it has the AF crest, and on the other it says ' Given in gratitude for unselfish, faithful and devoted service.  Your unfailing support and understanding help to make possible your spouses conbtribution to a grateful nation.'

That made me cry too. 

I'm keeping this coin in my purse.  I think it's going to get held and looked at a lot over the next few weeks.  I think that when I'm having a hard time with the kids or the house or being separated from my love I'm going to hold this coin in the palm of my hand and know that what I do isn't un-noticed and IS appreciated, and that this little bit of metal speaks volumes about his feelings for me and what I do when he's gone. 

Separation sucks.  Saying 'see ya later sucks'...but as Pseudosolider said yesterday, it sucks because we love each other - if we didn't love each other, if our relationship wasn't great, then saying 'adios' would be easy.

I hope that him leaving ALWAYS sucks.  I hope that it never stops hurting, ever.  Because as long as it hurts, I know that we're okay.

I love you, D.  Come home safe...