Trying to see the bright side

Published on November 6, 2005 By dharmagrl In Misc

'Always look on the bright side of life...'

I'm trying really hard to do that today.

I hate the days before he leaves. We're always on eggshells, each of us trying to make our last day together for a while be what the other ants it to be so that we don't part on bad terms, so that we have good memories of this day to help see us through the lonliness that accompanies each separation.

So, I'm trying to see the good things that will come from/with this TDY.

First of all, I think that it will give him a much needed career boost. The past couple of years have been kind of rough, and he's getting burnt out and unenthusiastic about the military - apathetic, even. That's really unlike him, and it bothers me to no end. Hopefully this class will take care of that and he'll come back recharged and with a renewed sense pride in his career.

Whilst I don't like being alone, there are some things that come with being alone that I kind of dig. For example...I get to watch what I want on TV, when I want to watch it. I also get to cook what I want and know that everyone will eat it.

I get to go shopping when i want to as well. I don't have to listen to a griping spouse when I want to look at clothes or shoes or cosmetics. There isn't any co-ordination necessary; I don't have to wait around for someone else to get ready to go...I can just leave whenever I'm ready.

Then there's the bathroom. I get to have a bathroom all to myself for 6 weeks! No more waiting for someone else to be done before I can take a shower, and no more lukewarm rinses because someone else used almost all the hot water up! I also won't have to hold my breath when I'm brushing my teeth.....if it stinks in there it'll be my stink so it won't be so bad. There's nothing worse than trying to brush your teeth in a bathroom that smells like an overflowing porta-potty on a hot day....and Dave seems to have this uncanny knack of needing to 'go' right as I'm getting ready to take a shower, so I'll also be able to not have to worry about that.

I can eat in bed, and I can hog the covers, I can fall asleep with the TV on and not have him complain about my turning it off...and Henry can sleep with me!

Man, this is going to be great! All these freedoms, these opportunities!

I'm kidding. I'd gladly give up all the reasons I just listed here if it meant he could stay home for the rest of his career.

But, I have a choice: I can either mope around the entire time he's gone, thinking about how much being separated sucks and generally being miserable, or I can make the most of it in little ways - such as eating candy for supper if I feel like it.

He's going to leave, and he's going to stay gone for 6 weeks. Moping isn't going to bring him back any faster, and it's probably only going to make the 45 days seem a LOT longer than they actually are.

So, I'm going to try and make the most of it and hope that in doing so the time flies by and we'll be reunited before I know it.

It's a no-brainer, really. At least, I think it is.....

Comments

pseudosoldier

on Nov 06, 2005

Keeping a positive attitude about something uncomfortable or unpleasant can be very difficult. I haven't tried to maintain a very positive attitude until somewhat recently, and I'm trying to do it through any adversity thrown my way.

Keep in mind that the very reason this is an unpleasant situation, having him away from you, is due to the depth of feelings that you two have for each other. A little TDY won't change those feelings, and your reunion will be very sweet. Remember that the 'T' in TDY stands for TEMPORARY.

Take the time constructively. Do things for yourself (not just eating candy

). Keep in touch with him, but don't dote or smother.

You'll be okay, I think.

Dr Guy

on Nov 06, 2005

You have the right attitude, and that helps a lot. Best of luck over the next few weeks.

dharmagrl

on Nov 06, 2005

Best of luck over the next few weeks.

Thanks!

Keep in touch with him, but don't dote or smother.

To start with, I'm leaving it up to him. We have national plans on our cell phones and free cell-to-cell calling so it's not going to cost anything to call. We also both have Yahoo messenger on our lap tops - he's already checked out the internet connection down there and knows that we can IM if we want to.

But, it's a school, and he's going to have homework and be expected to socialize....so I'm going to leave it up to him to call me when he's free during the week. We decided that we like saying goodnight to each other - so calling at the end of our day will probably be best for us. That way we can catch up on how our days have been and both go to sleep with 'I love you' having been the last thing we heard from each other (the way it is at home).

Keep in mind that the very reason this is an unpleasant situation, having him away from you, is due to the depth of feelings that you two have for each other. A little TDY won't change those feelings, and your reunion will be very sweet. Remember that the 'T' in TDY stands for TEMPORARY.

Yeah, after the past couple of years this should be a cake walk. I'm not sweating it too much. Besides, he's going to try and come home for Thanksgiving so we'll see each other about half-way through. We're both really looking forward to that.

Moderateman

on Nov 06, 2005

and Henry can sleep with me!

do not forget to comfort BOB as I am sure you totally ignored him the whole time yer hubby was home!!

remember BOB has feelings too.

crimson

on Nov 06, 2005

good luck to you both, I think it's excellent that you're approaching the situation the way that you are. Nic

lifehappens

on Nov 07, 2005

We decided that we like saying goodnight to each other - so calling at the end of our day will probably be best for us. That way we can catch up on how our days have been and both go to sleep with 'I love you' having been the last thing we heard from each other (the way it is at home).

Hey that's a great way to keep contact. AND on the plus side, you are in close time zones....none of those 2 am phone calls!

Welcome Guest! Please take the time to register with us.
There are many great features available to you once you register, including:

Richer content, access to many features that are disabled for guests like commenting on the forums.
Access to a great community, with a massive database of many, many areas of interest.
Access to contests & subscription offers like exclusive emails.
It's simple, and FREE!