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Published on October 28, 2005 By dharmagrl In Misc

I spent the majority of the morning in tears. 

First, Dave and I went to our son's 'Drug Free' assembly.  The kids had drawn posters and written essays about why they were drug free and how they accomplished that.   There were first, second and third place winners for each grade, and an overall winner who's essay would be entered into the state level competition.

Davey won first place for the 5th grade.....and he was also the overall winner.  The principal read out his essay, and that was when I started crying.

He named me and his dad as his role models.  He said that we had started talking to him about drugs when he was really little, almost too little to understand; that we showed him how to not be afraid to be an individual, to be independent and not do things because everyone else is doing them.  He said that we encouraged him to be himself, and that himself was the person who was able to say no and walk away.  He said that we always did the best for him that we could, and that even though he didn't always show it he loves us more than anything else and is proud of us for doing the best that we could for him, no matter what.....through deployments and surgeries, we were always there, standing up for him and encouraging him.

Wow.  I came out of the assembly in tears, bursting with pride that my son, my Davey, will be representing his school in the Illinois state competition.

Straight after the assembly we had a retirement ceremony to attend.  Senior Master Sgt P retired today after 24 years of service.  I like Senior P.  He's a straight shooter, tolerates no bullshit, but knows when someone needs help.  He also has this uncanny knack of instilling a gung-ho, can-do attitude in people he comes in contact with.  I went to talk to him the other day because I knew that there would be a lot of people thanking him today and I wanted to have the time to say what I wanted to say.  I thanked him for his honesty, his forthrightness, and more importantly for his leadership.  He thanked me for being there for my husband and the squadron, for helping out the wing, and he said that he wouldn't be where he was today if it wasn't for his wife.  He told me to look after Dave.....that he sees in my husband a Senior NCO in the making and that with my assistance and support Dave will one day occupy a Superintendent's seat.

If anyone else had said it, I wouldn't have believed it.  But coming from Senior P.....I believe it.  This is the guy who told me before Dave came back for my surgery to expect him to redeploy in 6 or so months.  Not nice news to hear, but...it was the truth, and I needed to know that so that I could be prepared for what was to come. 

His retirement ceremony was awesome.  He tried his best not to cry, and almost succeeded.  I cried for him, though.   Especially when his wife was presentd with a spouse's medal.  The words on the certificate with the medal struck a chord with me.  Us spouses don't get to wear a uniform, we don't get bits of metal or certificates to show our achievements.  We don't get performance reports......but we have a job to do, and we do it.  We go when we're told to go, we do what needs to be done to facilitate the mission.  We give up birthdays, holidays, anniversaries.....we play the role of both mom and dad, we have many, many hats to wear.  Yet, we do all these things silently.  We're rarely seen, we're hardly ever recognized (I got a plaque once for being Key Spouse for 4 years, but that's it).  We, as spouses, are as important to this country's defense as our men who don the uniform and gun.  We support this country,  we give of ourselves every day, and we ask for nothing in return.  So, Senior P said today that he wanted this ceremony to be as much about his wife as it was about him, because she deserved to be recognized for everything she'd done.

The best part though, the most moving for me, was at the end.  Usually at the end of ceremonies the Air Force song is played.   Today, the song wouldn't play.  There was a slight pause, and then....the wing commander started singing, and the rest of the people joined in.  75 voices, all raised in song as a salute to a Senior Master Sergeant who truly is the best Operations Superintendent I've ever known (and I've known enough to recognize quality when I see it). 

I'm scared for the person who's taking over Senior P's job,  He's got some mighty big shoes to fill.

I'm so.....proud, I guess.  Proud of my son, proud that he thinks me and his dad are doing well in raising him.  Proud my my husband for being a damn fine NCO and an awesome person, of Senior P and his wife for giving 24 years of their life, proud of the Air Force, proud of this country.  Today was a good remider of why I do this, why I stay married to a man whose job takes him away from me for months, sometimes years at a time....that there is a reason for these deployments and that without me and my military spouse sisters...well, the mission would be much more difficult to accomplish.

One day it will be Dave and I sitting in those chairs in front of all those people, listening to someone read off our  accomplishments.  One day he'll be the one getting a retirement certificate, and I'll be the one getting the medal.  We have 6 years before he can retire.  On the one hand, it seems like a hell of a long time.  But, when I look back to 2000 and see that nearly six years have passed since then...it doesn't seem so far away.

Not far away at all.


Comments
on Oct 28, 2005
damnit, dharma, you went and gave me the weepies too!
Congrats on your boy making you proud, it's memories like these that will keep you sane through his teenage years


I've got an endless supply of kleenex, I'll send some over....

I am so, so proud of him, S. He's a difficult kid to deal with sometimes, and I honestly thought that he thought we were weird and strange and not normal like other people's parents. That he sees those things as individuality and understands that it's okay to be an individual and NOT go with the flow.....that just amazes me.

Dave and I both came away from this retirement ceremony with a renewed sense of commitment to the military. We see that things are hard and will undoubtedly get harder, but....we can do it. One day we'll look back at this and be proud of our accomplishment, of our marriage. We'll know that our union withstood more stress than some marriages experience in a lifetime, and that we really did play a part in keeping this country safe.
on Oct 28, 2005
You have lots of reasons to be proud!  Congratulations on Davey and on Dave.  They could not have done it with out you!
on Oct 28, 2005
Hey! Congrats. And congrats to Davie, too. It's always nice when others recognize that our kids really are as special as we all claim they are.

Keep up the good work with both Daves.
on Oct 28, 2005
Awww, what a great story. It's wonderful to be a parent, huh? Especially when they suprise you by making you proud. Good luck to Davey on his big trip to State.

I work with a lot of ex-military (mostly Air Force) now, most of whom retired after doing their twenty. It's inspiring to hear that so many people excel in the military. I really look up to them, and know that my piddly six years may have also done some good, but it wasn't twenty.

on Oct 28, 2005
Congratulations on Davey and on Dave. They could not have done it with out you!

Thank you...and I'm starting to see that now. I DO have a role to play. Somehow in the last few months I lost sight of that.

Keep up the good work with both Daves.

Hahah...that's what Davey wants to be called now. His friends all call him Dave, he's only Davey at home.
on Oct 28, 2005
Nothing better than a parent to be held up as a positive role model D, wonderfull stuff that!

MM wipes nose.. sniffles.
on Oct 28, 2005
I also could not stop the tears when reading this. I have had to cancel the rest of my business meetings.
on Oct 28, 2005
"The kids had drawn posters and written essays about why they were drug free and how they accomplished that."


I rather fancy Americans should be concerned if their schools compel children to show how they became reformed drug addicts. Children of this age show not be able to recall a time when they were despicable drug users.
on Oct 28, 2005
American children are disgusting anyway, fat, ignorant and addicted to drugs. If they are not eating Big Macs, they are playing computer games about black peasants stealing motor vehicles.

How vile.
on Oct 28, 2005
You couldn't ask for a more beautiful tribute....and Congratulations to your Son...wow..first place overall!
on Oct 28, 2005
These are the moments that parents live for. You should be proud. Congratulations.

Congratulations to your son as well.

More parents should try talking to their kids. It's surprising how many really don't when it is the best and easiest things to do.
on Oct 28, 2005

It's inspiring to hear that so many people excel in the military. I really look up to them, and know that my piddly six years may have also done some good, but it wasn't twenty.

Service is service, dude.  The only difference is that those who stay in for 20 years have a higher tolerance for bullshit and the politics that accompany military service (I'm sure you know what I'm talking about)

Nothing better than a parent to be held up as a positive role model D, wonderfull stuff that!

THanks, MM.  I was really surprised at what he wrote.

wow..first place overall!

Yeah, that's what I thought too!!

These are the moments that parents live for

This is very true.  Davey was so excited...said his knees were shaking when he went up there to recieve his award.

More parents should try talking to their kids

Yes, they should.  We've always talked to ours.  Even when they were little, we tried to explain to them how things are in the world.  If they asked questions, we answered as honestly as we could in an age appropriate way.  We've never said "you don't need to worry about that" or "you're too little to understand".  We've treated them like the little individuals that they are, and that's just now starting to manifest itself in their personalities.  It's really quite something to see.....and I'm interested to see where it's going to go from here.