How soon is now?

Published on August 20, 2005 By dharmagrl In Home & Family

'I am human and I need to be loved...

....just like everybody else does'.

Everything I do is wrong. From the way I talk to my taste in food, from my actions one day to my inactions the next. Everything. I. Do. Is. Wrong. It's displeasing. It pisses him off.

I don't know how much more I can take and still be sane. He's going to end up breaking me.....

Comments

alison watkins

on Aug 20, 2005

It sounds like the slate needs to be cleared. Maybe you guys need a weekend by yourselves...no kids...just you and D.

btw...great song.

crimson

on Aug 20, 2005

He's going to end up breaking me.....

I don't know exactly what's going on, but what I know is that you are a great woman. Maybe you're letting too much affect you right now, or being oversensitive, or maybe you're right on the money and how he is making you feel is intentional. But you do have a choice in how you respond and react.

Stay strong, my friend.
Nic.

ps. Watch your mail, and I don't mean email.

alison watkins

on Aug 20, 2005

p.s. you are also going through a tough time with the operation and recovery so don't be so hard on yourself.

Texas Wahine

on Aug 20, 2005

He's about to leave, dharma, and that makes the tension so high. He's been worked to the bone and he's torn between home and work obligations. You are needy, and men generally don't like to be around sick and broken people.

He's grouchy, you're grouchy. School and all the chaos that that brings is here. You're still healing and needing extra attention and care. The holidays are coming up and he's not going to be there for them...AGAIN.

It's a wonder one of you hasn't bashed the other's skull with a frying pan yet.

Just remember that things are rough now, but they won't stay that way. You love this man, and he loves you.

Shovelheat

on Aug 20, 2005

Everything I do is wrong. From the way I talk to my taste in food, from my actions one day to my inactions the next. Everything. I. Do. Is. Wrong. It's displeasing. It pisses him off.

Yep. It sounds like you're married for sure...

Phoenixboi

on Aug 20, 2005

I think one thing...

You, LW, Shovel... need to get your asses here so we can have a good time!

..... ye but no but ye but no but ye but no but ye...

HC1240

on Aug 20, 2005

(((((((((((((((((((((K)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hang in there, girl.

Moderateman

on Aug 20, 2005

well since I have not a clue.... I will just say, stay strong, this to will pass.. blah blah blah. {{{{{[[[D}}}}}}}}

TasT

on Aug 20, 2005

Hey dharma,

Stay strong and try to realize the stresses that are on both of you, if he's getting ready to deploy he probably doesn't realize his own right now an will be sorry as soon as he leaves, so cut him some slack for now, then berate him in a letter later!

InBloom

on Aug 21, 2005

wow...I have felt this exact same way a few times...the feeling of not being enough for the person I love, of always doing something wrong in his eyes. I wrote a short blog about it one night when I was going through this sort of heartache. Link

Hopefully the emotions that you and your husband are going through right now are short-lived...hope you get better soon.

dharmagrl

on Aug 21, 2005

But you do have a choice in how you respond and react.

Yes, I do, and sometimes I have to really bite my tongue and walk away or else it would just disintegrate into a shouting match. That's hard to do...especially when he's said something particularly hurtful. Most of the time I end up crying, which pisses him off even more.

Watch your mail, and I don't mean email

I will. Thanks, babe.

btw...great song.

It's one of my faves....

don't be so hard on yourself.

I'm trying not to be, but...Dave's doing a pretty good job of picking up where I try to leave off.

t's a wonder one of you hasn't bashed the other's skull with a frying pan yet

I've felt like it. I've come close to throwing something at him. I had a shoe in my hand and had a brief vision of beating about the head and neck with it. I'd never do that, of course, but......

Just remember that things are rough now, but they won't stay that way. You love this man, and he loves you.

I have difficulty believeing that he really does love me when all he does is bitch and gripe at me and about me. Some days it just never stops...he gets up making negative comments and just doesn't stop.

Yep. It sounds like you're married for sure...

Yep. Sure does.

You, LW, Shovel... need to get your asses here so we can have a good time!

If I had the means to do it, I'd be booking my flights right now....and bringing S and J with me!

(((((((((((((((((((((K))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you, Heather. I could use a real one of those right around now.

{{{{{[[[D}}}}}}}}

Thanks, Elie. I wish I could get one in person!

Stay strong and try to realize the stresses that are on both of you

I'm trying, I really am...and I understand that he's having hard time at work and I'm trying not to add to that, but there comes a point when I have to speak up and make my needs known. If I don't, I get ignored totally. (Speaking from experience about that)

...the feeling of not being enough for the person I love, of always doing something wrong in his eyes.

Yes, you DO know what I'm talking about, and that makes me...comfortable, I guess? Not happy, because Id never want anyone to experience this...but now I don't feel quite so alone.

dharmagrl

on Aug 21, 2005

Ditto to everything the others said, dharma--they didnt leave me much else to say.

(((((karen)))))

I know...there are only so many ways you can say 'sorry things are sucky right now', huh? it's okay, thanks for stoping by anyway...and for the hug.

You've got 'real' mail on the way, btw.

HC1240

on Aug 21, 2005

Thank you, Heather. I could use a real one of those right around now.

Wish I could give ya one.

Dr Guy

on Aug 22, 2005

Ditto on Little Whip's comment, Wish there was something more that I could say.

lifehappens

on Aug 22, 2005

LW said it. Don't think or do anything rash....try to relax and stay sane for now.

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