This is too much

Published on August 11, 2005 By dharmagrl In Life Journals

My husband went back to wrok on Monday. He'd been on leave prior to that, looking after me whilst I recuperated. I wasn't sure about him going back to work because I didn't think i was ready to look after the kids AND the house AND myself all day. He and his supervisor reassured me that they would be flexible about things, that he'd be coming home for lunch and would be home around 5-ish in the evenings so I wouldn't be stranded all alone all day.

Yeah, right. Monday he went to work at 0630. He got half an hour for lunch at 11, then went back to work. He finally came home at 730pm. Tuesday was worse; he didn't even get to take lunch that day. Tuesday night he got home at 8pm. I paid the price for Monday and Tuesday's increase in activity yesterday - it was an unusually painful day for me.

Yesterday he went to work at 0700, actually got an hour for lunch, and then came home at 445pm. I started to think that perhaps the worst of it was over....then the phone rang and he got called in at 11pm. It's now 5am, and he's still there. I have an appointment with the surgeon this morning at 9am. I'm relying on him to take me because I can't drive myself. If he's not available...well, then I'm not sure what I'm going to do.

This is too much. He came home for a reason, so he could help me out and look after me through this recovery.

His job has been denying the opportunity to do that, and I'm paying the price for it.

Comments

dharmagrl

on Aug 11, 2005

Bummer. Dunno what else to say about that.

That's what I'm thinking too. There's nothing I can do. I'm not going to step out of line and go bitch to the command, so I'll just have to put up and shut up for now.

Let things go undone if you must, your health comes first. The laundry and dishes and all that other stuff can just wait.

That's what D and I just got done talking about. He finally rolled in at 545, tired as hell. He has to go back in after we get done at the doctor's this morning. I said that I was going to sit on my ass on the couch the rest of the day, that the laundry and hoovering and stuff could wait until the weekend when he was there to help me.

(I got variegated black and grey yarn, btw...I'm all set to start Lupa as soon as I finish my current project! I'm so excited!)

Phoenixboi

on Aug 11, 2005

Back to work already? But you just came out of the op! surely you cant be better already? .. sounds so insensitive to me!

I think you need a vacation.. right here to Oz..

dharmagrl

on Aug 11, 2005

Back to work already? But you just came out of the op! surely you cant be better already? .. sounds so insensitive to me!

Hehehe...when he went to inprocess the day after he got back his boss caught him in the hallway and made him arrange when he was coming back to work. I made a comment then about how it really all depended on how I was doing, but they don't want to hear things like that. So, he went back to work.

Hmm...yeah, I think a vacation is just about what I need right now. All I need to do now is win the lottery...!

Phoenixboi

on Aug 11, 2005

But your looking after yourself right?

You wanna get better not worse!

and wining the lottery well yeah ive already got tabs on that one.. there is a few things i need to do.

dharmagrl

on Aug 11, 2005

But your looking after yourself right?

Yeah, I am. I know what I'm allowed to do...and I'm not going to screw my back up for anybody so I'm doing exactly what the doc told me to do. Nothing more, nothing less. I'm spending a fair bit of time on the couch (which is why I'm getting so much knitting done - did you see what I'm amiing for Sabrina, btw?!), and I'm not even attempting to do the laundry or load the dishwasher. I make sure that I eat properly, that I walk daily, and that I get enough sleep - except for last night; I got about 3 hours kip because I was in pain as a result of doing too much on Monday and Tuesday.

Are YOU looking after YOURSELF??? Don't make me come over there and play nurse! You won't like it...

Phoenixboi

on Aug 11, 2005

Are YOU looking after YOURSELF??? Don't make me come over there and play nurse! You won't like it...

Umm no im not looking after myself...

so when you coming over???!!

dharmagrl

on Aug 11, 2005

Umm no im not looking after myself... so when you coming over???!!

As soon as I can get medical clearance to fly, someone to watch the kids and the dog, and enough money for a plane ticket and food.....

Phoenixboi

on Aug 11, 2005

food.....

food? Ill feed ya! BTW... Sabrina has taught me some great recepies.. mouthwatering!

and you got mail too.

Phoenixboi

on Aug 11, 2005

Don't overdo it again or I shall head that way and seriously kick your ass. (avoiding the lower back area, of course.)

How bout both of you get your asses over here and we can all look after each other! Screw the husbands and everything else.. It is time the 3 of us ahem.. girls have some serious fun.

Dr Guy

on Aug 11, 2005

Sorry about that Dharma. The cleaning can wait.

But I had to laugh at your hoovering! Been a long time since I heard that term.

HC1240

on Aug 11, 2005

Praying you feel better soon, and that hubby has all kinds of energy to burn this weekend so he has fun catching up the chores.

dharmagrl

on Aug 11, 2005

karen, DO NOT screw up what you went through all that surgery to correct. Period. I don't care if your dishes become petrified with goo, leftovers beging to look back at you when you open the fridge, or strange mold begins growing on the laundry. Don't overdo it again or I shall head that way and seriously kick your ass. (avoiding the lower back area, of course.)

Oh don't worry, chickie, I won't. it was too damn painful and expensive ($40,000 and still the bills are coming in) for me to fuck it all up now. If I behave myself, this will last me the rest of my life...so that's what I'm aiming for. The kids can help with the cleaning and Dave can do what they can't. I'm playing this recovery by the book from now on, no matter what the military says or does.

Sit, Knit, and Nap. Doctor Whip's orders.

Yes m'am! I'll be finished with my hood this afternoon so I can make a start on Lupa then....

How bout both of you get your asses over here and we can all look after each other!

Sounds like a plan to me. Whip and I could escape the miserable American winter that plays havoc with our bones and come visit the land down under!

But I had to laugh at your hoovering! Been a long time since I heard that term.

Hehehe....I use it all the time. people are always asking my husband what I mean by 'hoovering'.

Praying you feel better soon, and that hubby has all kinds of energy to burn this weekend so he has fun catching up the chores.

Thanks! He's going to need his energy...the 'no sex' ban got lifted last week! Oh yeah, baby!!!!

foreverserenity

on Aug 11, 2005

That's tough dharma, really though. Hope you'll be able to get more time to rest because you're definately not up to doing your normal stuff yet. As for the sex, well that's been known to be therapeutic in more ways than one!

Dr Guy

on Aug 11, 2005

Hehehe....I use it all the time. people are always asking my husband what I mean by 'hoovering'.

Please take this in the vein meant, but I heard it all the time from a Welshman. Not that you are WELSH! Perrish the tought!

dharmagrl

on Aug 11, 2005

Hope you'll be able to get more time to rest because you're definately not up to doing your normal stuff yet. As for the sex, well that's been known to be therapeutic in more ways than one!

We're taking a nap together this afternoon. Yay! Naps are GOOD!

Hmm, if we were screwing the husbands more often, that trip wouldnt look nearly as attractive as it does!

Hahahahahahahah! Aint THAT the truth!

Please take this in the vein meant, but I heard it all the time from a Welshman. Not that you are WELSH! Perrish the tought!

In England the slang term for a Welshman is 'Taff' or 'Taffy' (It's a derivative of Daffyd, the Welsh name for David, the Patron Saint of Wales), and no, I'm not a Taff. I'm a Oxfordshire lass....but 'hoovering' is a very well used British terminology.

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