Knitting. Yarn. Fiber artistry. More knitting. Nursing school. Hospice work. Death and the dying process. Phoenix Raven's. Knitting. Yarn. Oh, and Life As An Air Force Wife.
Published on July 12, 2005 By dharmagrl In Misc

My friend Ferret (aka Mark) sent me this.  Someone had linked to it on his 'myspace' blog.

I appreciated it, and I think that you will appreciate it too, Joe Users.

 

"Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont.
I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people.
I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations
that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children.
You are cruel and ignorant.
You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.

My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright
families from the time he was in the first grade.
He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay.

He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the
misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other boys.
He was called "fag" incessantly, starting when he was 6.

In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing,
mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them.
My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn't
bear to continue living any longer, that he didn't want to be gay and that he couldn't face a life without dignity.

You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace,
while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair.
I don't know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn't put him, and millions like him,
on this Earth to give you someone to abuse.
God gave you brains so that you could think, and it's about time you started doing that.

At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you,
that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join.
The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won't get to choose.
Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don't know.
I can only tell you with an absolute certainty that it is inborn.

If you want to tout your own morality, you'd best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality.
You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you.
If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing
I received with no effort whatsoever on my part.
It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it.
For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or
something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I'm puzzled.
Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen,
that you could change it at will?
If that's not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?

A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders.
Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations.
I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I'll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for "true Vermonters."

You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country,
saying that they didn't give their lives so that the "homosexual agenda" could tear down the principles
they died defending.
My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded
and awarded the Purple Heart.

He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live.
He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one.
One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out,
it mattered not at all.
That wasn't the measure of the man.

You religious folk just can't bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that
was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness.
It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital,
to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance.

How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family,
would undermine the sanctity of marriage. You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings.
There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant.
God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin.

The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and
tells us about "those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing"
asks: "What ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings than we are?"

Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?"

I've been asking myself the same question....


Comments (Page 3)
3 Pages1 2 3 
on Jul 14, 2005
A voice of sanity


Thank you very much.

He probably got married because he was feeling pressured to by his family, his church, society. He tried to make everyone else happy his entire life, and he probably couldn't take any more lies and came out


Well said. I think a lot of gay people have been in this situation, in one way or another. It would take a lot of courage to stand up to all these social pressures and be true to one's self.

Cheers,

Maso

on Jul 14, 2005
So, getting back to the story of the mother and her son; I had no right to judge the kids who harrassed him by calling them "obnoxious jerks", they were merely "being true to themselves". Ok, I get it now, "if it feels good, do it". It shouldn't matter how many people are hurt along the way. People have no choices in life, they should always "be true to themselves".
No responsibility to children or spouses should ever come before responsibility to pleasing one's self.

Thanks for helping me understand. ;~D
on Jul 14, 2005

--Ok, wish to start a thread?

Dude, what part of "I don't want to talk to you" don't you get?!  I don't want to have anything to do with you.  Really.  You don't say anything that's of any interest to me. You're starting to act like a little ankle biting dog....one that keeps nipping at people's heels until they pay attention to it.

Look out, Lucas.  Little Whip isn't the only one with a desire to kick puppies.

 

on Jul 14, 2005

People have no choices in life, they should always "be true to themselves".
No responsibility to children or spouses should ever come before responsibility to pleasing one's self.

He did that for years.  He was married, he had kids, he tried.  Have you ever tired to live as something that's totally contrary to your true nature, Ted?  I have, and it sucks. 

I have friends who are gay and who tried to be 'straight' for their families and friends.  One of them tried to kill himself.  He said afterwards that he got to the point where he simply decided that if he couldn't live as who he really was, then he preferred not to live at all.

 

on Jul 14, 2005
Have you ever tired to live as something that's totally contrary to your true nature


So have I. And I agree, it sucks big time. Never again...
on Jul 14, 2005
So have I. And I agree, it sucks big time. Never again...


Exactly. I can totally understand why people attempt (and sometimes succeed) suicide. Having to be something that you're not, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week...it's an awful way to live.
on Jul 14, 2005
ok....
on Jul 14, 2005
ok....


I just sat here and wrote a long respone...then I deleted it because I refuse to give you fuel for your fire of victimhood.

I've been dying to say this though: those 'book ideas' that you churn out,the ones that no-one comments about? They're not very good. In fact, Id go so far as to say that're pretty damn awful. See, we have some folks here who are kick-ass writers and who really should be published (in fact one of our resident poets did indeed get some of his work published)...and you're not one of them.

That's all I have to say. Just beware, Lucas. Like I said, I kick puppies too.
on Jul 14, 2005
I just sat here and wrote a long respone...then I deleted it because I refuse to give you fuel for your fire of victimhood.

I've been dying to say this though: those 'book ideas' that you churn out,the ones that no-one comments about? They're not very good. In fact, Id go so far as to say that're pretty damn awful. See, we have some folks here who are kick-ass writers and who really should be published (in fact one of our resident poets did indeed get some of his work published)...and you're not one of them.

That's all I have to say. Just beware, Lucas. Like I said, I kick puppies too.


--dharmagrl, i am not playing victim...i have told you repeatedly where i stand, that i am not playing victim, that yes, what i did was wrong, and i shouldn't have said certain things to LW...

Also, i appreciate your honesty, i've gotten a lot of negative reviews, have a nice day
3 Pages1 2 3