Recently D and I found ourselves in a unique position.

We've had to deal with 2 First Sergeants instead of one.  Normally, military members only have one 'Shirt' (as they're colloquially known) - the one who's assigned to the squadron they're a member of.

However, because D is deployed, we've had to deal with two.  One here, at his parent or home unit, and one at the unit he's temporarily assigned to.

These two Shirts represent each end of the spectrum.  One has gone out of his way to help us, and the other....well, hasn't.

In order to properly explain why we feel he hasn't done much to help us, I have to give you a little background information:

When we first found out that I had extensive injuries that would need a surgical repair (back at the end of January) we called D's shirt, supervisor and Operations Superintendent together and explained the situation to them.  D was slated to deploy in March, and we didn't want to pull him off the team for a surgery that we thought might not happen until after he came back.  We all talked about the possible solutions, and the one that everyone agreed was best was this: to deploy D, and if the surgery happened when he was gone, to bring him back early. 

So, with that in mind, I called the Shirt here when I found out that I was going to have a spinal fusion done.  His response?  Your husband is deployed now, so it's not my problem.  It's up to the command over there whether they release him or not.  You'll have to talk to them.

Dismayed, I called D's supervisor to let him know what was going on.  Sgt J has been awesome since D left, we couldn't have asked for a better supervisor.  I told him about the surgery.  He said "right, well, lets start the process to get your husband home.  That's what we said we'd do if this happened, so let's do it."

I told him what the Shirt had said.  He told me not to worry about it.  He gave me a list of requirements, told me who to call, when to call them, and what to ask for, and then he started sending emails and making phone calls too make sure everyone involved knew what the score was.

In the meantime, D contacted the Shirt at his location.  He told him what was going on, and the Shirt over there told him what information he would require in order to release him early. He too told D who to call, when to call them, and what to ask for.

So, following those guidelines, I initiated a Red Cross message last week.  A couple of hours after I had initiated it and everyone involved had been notified, I saw the Shirt at the barber shop.  He didn't say one word to me.  I got a grunted response to my "Hi, how are you!?"  I know that he was aware of what ws going on, because the Red Cross representative had called me to tell me that the message had been sent.  He KNEW.  He KNEW, but he ignored me.

Later that afternoon, D forwarded me an email from the Shirt over there.  In it, D was asked when he wanted to go home.  He had responded and said that he thought mid-month would be good because he knew the rotator schedule and could get a plane out.  The Shirt there replied with " You don't need to worry about rotator and flights.  That's MY job.  I'll make sure you get out of here on time, so just let me take care of it.  You squadron and leadership here are behind you 100%.  We'll take care of you, don't worry".

Wow.  We've gone from a Shirt here who, to be frank, has washed his hands of the whole situation...to a Shirt there who is busting his ass to take care of us and has let us know that he's behind us and our decision 100%.  We've literally gone from one extreme to the other.

I like to give credit where credit's due.  I'm mailing the Shirt there a 'thank you' card this morning.  It's not much, I know but....I want to let him know that he's made a big difference to D and I.  I know that he's going to say that he's just doing his job, but...his kindness and empathy won't be forgotten.

This experience has shown us both ends of the Shirt spectrum.  The good, and the...not-so-good.