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Published on June 23, 2005 By dharmagrl In Misc

I'm watching a show about transgendered people.

Men who feel like they're women trapped in masculine shell, and vice versa.

There's one man, who, before he got the courage up to make the change, to become a woman, was a very masculine man.  Had facial hair, did traditionally masculine things like construction work, welding and so on.  He even had 4 kids.

Then, at the age of 46, he decided that he couldn't live the lie anymore and undertook the process to turn his body into the feminine form he felt he really should be.

Watching him in a store trying to find appropriate clothing to wear for his first trip out in public as a woman....it was saddening but heartwarming at the same time.  Saddening because he so desperately wanted to appear as 'normal' a woman as he could be, and he had not a clue where to start.   I felt like I was watching my little sister trying on dresses and shoes. 

It was heartwaring to see the look on his face when he came out of the dressing room in full chick gear....he looked so damn proud of himself, so happy and confident that he COULD pass as a woman...it was almost an affirmation for him.  This was the first time he had allowed anyone to see him in women's clothes; all of his dressing up to that point had been at his home, alone.  It was really a wonderful thing to behold.

I used to think that people who were transgendered were simply confused.  Being female, and happily female, myself....I have no idea what it must be like to feel like you're trapped in a body that betrays who you feel you really are.  The older I get, though....the more I feel like I want to live and let live, and to even go beyond that.  I'd like someday to have the opportunity to help a person transitioning from male to female, to show them how to dress for their body shape, how to apply eyeliner and mascara and how to choose accessories.

I think that doing such a thing would be a great opportunity....and a learning experience, a lesson in tolerance for me.


Comments
on Jun 23, 2005
Just don't tell us that you want to become a man.
on Jun 23, 2005

Dr: OOh, noooooo......nooo nooo noo......I'm VERY happy being a chick.  VERY happy.  I have no desire to have a penis and no boobs. 

Besides, if I were a dude, I'd be gay.

on Jun 23, 2005
You said all that needs to be said: "Live and let live"
on Jun 23, 2005
Yeah, it must be strange for everybody around the person who lives the change tho. I dont know how i'd react if it was MY husband telling ME one day after 20 years of marriage: "honey, i want to be a woman, i always did"... Scary shit...

on Jun 24, 2005
Dr: OOh, noooooo......nooo nooo noo......I'm VERY happy being a chick. VERY happy. I have no desire to have a penis and no boobs.
Besides, if I were a dude, I'd be gay.


That's a good thing. Because as good as you look that would be a terrible waste!
on Jun 24, 2005

I have a neighbor who used to be a man.  The farmer that lives across from me didn't know her name....so he just called her "the He-She".

She's a mechanical engineer at one of the big three.  When she had the surgery, she requested a transfer because she said it would be too hard to work with the same people who would think of her as still being male.  If you met her now you'd never know that she was ever a man.

I think that we still have a lot to learn about humans.  I think that there are actually people living in the wrong body.  I have met some men who just seem like women (ones that don't even claim to be gay) and vise verse.  I was also watching this documentary called "I'm my own twin" where these women were told that their babies couldn't possible be their own after dna testing.  What they found out is that the women were genetically 2 people- themselves and their twin that they fused with in early cell formation.  So, what if you were a male that fused with your female twin?

on Jun 24, 2005

You said all that needs to be said: "Live and let live"

Exactly.

I dont know how i'd react if it was MY husband telling ME one day after 20 years of marriage: "honey, i want to be a woman, i always did"... Scary shit...

The wives of the men who decided that wanted to be women were very adamant about sticking to their 'for better, for worse' vows at first...but once they realized how difficult it was to live with a woman who wanted to experiemnt sexually with other men...well, most of them filed for divorce.

That's a good thing. Because as good as you look that would be a terrible waste![/quote

You flatterer, you!

I think that we still have a lot to learn about humans. I think that there are actually people living in the wrong body.

I think so too.  We've not gotten very far into human genome mapping yet, and I think that as time goes on and we progress and understand more we'll find that transgendered persons really ARE living in 'wrong' bodies.  I simply cannot imagine the torment....

I founf it interesting too that most of them retained their 'normal' sexual preferences until right after they have the vaginoplasty surgery...then they changed.  Whilst they still had male genitalia, they were attracted to women.  Once they had female genitalia and were living as women full-time, that shifted and they found themselves attracted to men.  One girl who underwent surgery to change herself into a man started out as a lesbian, then once she started living as a man full time he found himself attracted to men.  I think that goes a long way to show that homosexuality is a genetic, rather than learned, trait.