I had to go to WalMart this morning (my friend's kid was having a birthday and I, as usual, had put off getting a card and a gift until the very last minute). I went early (what I thought was early), around 8 am to try and miss the coming-out-of-church crowd, and discovered a whole sub-set of people who apparently had the same thought as me. It was actually quite busy, so we (my kids and I) just got what we needed and decided to get out of there (in itself an unusual event; i like to browse and take my time)

Whilst I was standing in line waiting to check out my attention was drawn to the folks who were in line behind me. They appeared to be a family.....a VERY LARGE family, consisting of a mom, a dad, and 8 - yes, i counted them - children ranging in age from newborn to about 10. Their cart was filled with milk, bread, cereal..items i'd consider to be staples in a house with kids. The kids themselves looked like they hadn't seen soap, water or a comb in a while, and the parents both had teeth that would give a dentist a nervous tic.

I feel I must digress a little here - i'm not a vain or proud person, and i am in no way placing myself above or thinking of myself as above anyone else. i too have left the house with my kids wearing yesterday's jeans and having neglected to brush their teeth; and we have had periods in our married life when we literally haven't had 2 pennies to rub together....but we've always managed to turn ourselves out clean and semi-groomed. I just have little tolerance for poor hygiene.

So, back to the story about the gaggle of kids. My first thought (and I'm not very proud of it) was "My God, someone had to have sex with her in order to make that many kids", closely followed by "Now I feel nauseated". As I watched them interact it became obvious very quickly that Mom was the leader of the pack, chasing after and corraling the kids, whilst Dad just kinda stood there with his hands in his pockets. The kids were EVERYWHERE, touching the magazines and candy, running all over screaming and yelling....with Mom after them telling them "don't touch" , and "put it back!" .....and "you can''t have it; food stamps won't pay for it". It was the last comment that set me off on this train of thought.

I am very well aware that despite every precaution, accidents sometimes happen. I have a 7 year old 'surprise' sitting in my living room as we speak! As I mentioned before, my husband and I have had points in our life where we haven't had ANY money left over after the bills were paid and food was bought. Yes, we considered applying for food stamps at one point, and we qualified, but there was a sense of defeat to our accepting them...we felt as if we'd be failing not only ourselves but our kids as well - and we also felt it wrong to take them when we were managing without them. Yes, we had no money, but we were paying the bills and everyone was eating. Using food stamps to finance our social lives (which is what would have happened) would just have been wrong in our opinion. We didn't plan on having 3 children, but that's the way it happened, and we did what was neccessary to support, maintain, and care for those 3 kids without anyone elses help (meaning government help). More importantly, we realized when we were at our limit financially and took the appropriate steps to ensure that no more 'surprises' came along. Having another child just wasn't feasable, no matter how much we would have liked to expand our brood.

So, why do some folks think it's ok to keep reproducing like ferrets? Is the concept of contraception lost on them? I don't think the 'accident' theory really holds much water after the sixth or seventh time; heck, i think it's pretty much shot to pieces after the second or third time! Or, could it be that they know they have safety net in the welfare system and therefore take less care to ensure no more accidents happen? I'm not criticizing people who have lots of kids; i myself would have liked to have had more - but i am voicing concern over couples who consistently have more and more babies without giving a damn about how they're going to support and raise said babies BY THEMSELVES, SANS ASSISTANCE FROM THE GOVERNMENT! I know for certain that if you're below a certain income level birth control is provided to you FREE OF CHARGE (in this state it is anyway)..and if for some reason you can't use birth control, there's always abstinence. Sex doesn't have to be about penetration; there are many more ways to get your jollies.

I left the store this morning more aggrivated than when i went in. I think, in our desperation to give a helping hand to those who truly need it, we have created a welfare state. People know that the government won't let them fall too far, so there's really no pressure for them to get back on their feet and be self supporting....and that, my friends, pisses me off.