ARRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

Published on March 7, 2005 By dharmagrl In Health & Medicine

I'm having a bad back day.

I would do almost anything to rid myself of the burning, throbbing, aching sciatica that's running down my legs. This is the worst it's been, ever.

The thing is, I know WHY I'm having a bad back day. I have to go to the doctor this afternnon and, after I plead with him to temporarily put me out of my misery somehow, I'll have to explain just HOW I hurt myself this time.

*blushing*

I have a.....a.....fornication related injury. Yes, you read it right. Yes, you can get hurt having slightly rougher than usual sex, just ask the millions of dudes who have 'fractured' their penis' in much the same way I hurt my back again.

All it took was one good thrust on his part, a temporary instability on my part...and bob's your uncle. Back pain, searing, nauseating back and leg pain.

I don't know whether to be ashamed that I'm so fragile that I get hurt getting laid, glad that I actually got some, or proud of my husband that he's got enough power to injure a person.

Oh the shame.....oh the pain!

Comments (Page 2)

dharmagrl

on Mar 09, 2005

If you want to hear the worst I've ever heard of, you'll need to ask since it's very, very not safe for work, children, or the average person's sanity.

ooooh, do tell!

ParaTed2k

on Mar 09, 2005

People have been hurt far worse during intercourse.

Too true! Most the hurt I've seen from intercourse didn't involve an actual partner! ;~D

Gene Nash

on Mar 09, 2005

Too true! Most the hurt I've seen from intercourse didn't involve an actual partner! ;~D

For the last time, I don't know how the lightbulb got there! Okay?!

Well... I was just trying to find my gerbil... really...

zweihander01

on Mar 09, 2005

To start this off, this earned the guy a Darwin Award. No, this isn't the stapling one. It's far, far, worse.

~~~NWS from beyond this point!~~~

So, this guy and girl decide to have some fun outdoors. Not checking the weather, they head off to the top of a hill and start going at it like sharp knives, with her on top. That's important, actually. But, there's a thunderstorm brewing, and before you know it, ZAP!

She gets hit by lightning. The girl dies instantly, and the guy only gets knocked out. Unfortunately, the current melts their condom, fusing them together at the genitals. Yeah, ouch.

So eventually, he wakes up, vomits from the pain of melty genitals, and passes out again from same pain. Now, whatever he ate must have smelled good, because a passing bear was attracted to them, and says, "Hey! Free vomit and carrion!" And begins eating the deceased girl.

Again, he wakes up and is suitably freaked out even more. He begins crawling away, very feebly. He is then discovered by some passerby. But no, not just ANY passerby.

(This is the clincher, here. This next part makes the entire story worth it, especially if you have a vivid imagination.)

It turns out, that a Girl Scout troop was hiking nearby, and finds this mess. I'm going to repeat that, as it bears repeating.

A GIRL SCOUT TROOP.

Imagine that. Please.

So, they get him and what's left of the girl to a hospital. While he didn't die, he DID remove himself from the gene pool, since his penis wasn't... good after the surgery to seperate them. And that's the main point of a Darwin Award, after all. The removal from the gene pool part.

And there you have it! Google "Darwin Awards" to find more twisted shit.

Dr Guy

on Mar 09, 2005

Reply By: zweihander01Posted: Wednesday, March 09, 2005

You should have blogged that! It is one for the Darwin awards!

Gene Nash

on Mar 09, 2005

the current melts their condom, fusing them together at the genitals. Yeah, ouch.

Yet another reason condoms are evil.

"But, baby, we might get struck by lightening."
"In my parents basement?!"

Dr Guy

on Mar 09, 2005

"In my parents basement?!"

last line: "It has been known to happen! My Mother's brother's sister's cousin's uncle's friend had it happen to him!"

Gene Nash

on Mar 09, 2005

You should have blogged that! It is one for the Darwin awards!

I think I read it in one of the Darwin Awards books a couple years ago.

last line: "It has been known to happen! My Mother's brother's sister's cousin's uncle's friend had it happen to him!"

"Yeah, baby, you seen him, the one who walks all funny."

zweihander01

on Mar 09, 2005

It was in a Darwin Awards book. Where do you think I heard it from?

dynamaso

on Mar 09, 2005

Oh Dharma, sorry to hear about you poor back. I'm also sorry I didn't see this earlier so I could use all the bad puns others have used. I tried really hard not to laugh, but...

Hope you're starting to feel better.

Shovelheat

on Mar 09, 2005

I resisted sayin' this earlier, but dammit! I can't help myself! Better your back peter out than your husbands peter back out. OK, got that outta my system. I feel better now...

lifehappens

on Mar 10, 2005

Oh poor girl...hee hee hee.....I'm so sorry for you.....hee hee hee... No really, I am sorry. I'm just terribly amused.

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