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Published on December 22, 2004 By dharmagrl In Misc

What I am:

... emotionally bruised.  Damaged goods, I suppose.

... trying to be less angry and vengeful.

.... trying not to give in to temptation.

... a worthless friend sometimes.

... a not-so-good mom some days.

... a lazy housekeeper.  I'll do it when it needs doing, but hardly ever before.

... "flighty" (my dad's words)

... selfish.

... a wanna be, trying-to-be Zen warrior.

...sensitive to other people's perceptions of me.

... afraid of confrontation for confrontation's sake.  I'll do it when I have to, but I don't like it.

... acutely aware of my failings and flaws.  I don't need your mirror to show me what's wrong with my personality, I can see well enough on my own, thanks.

 

What I am not:

... dishonest.

... egotistical. (although part of me thinks that writing an article such as this is more than a little egotistical and wonders why I'm doing it)

... materialistic.

...  a doormat.  Don't walk on me.

... devoid of feelings.  I hurt the same as everyone else does.

 

 

 


Comments (Page 2)
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on Dec 22, 2004

Nothing I do is right or good enough...so I'm staying out of his way.


It is a bit like starting the dating process over but without the rampaging hormones to help you along...

on Dec 22, 2004
good luck, love, hope it works out better
on Dec 22, 2004

good luck, love, hope it works out better

Thanks, Mikey.  It will, I'm sure.

 

on Dec 22, 2004
While I cannot pretend to understand all you have gone through, I can sympathize with feeling a little "bruised".

Take care of yourself and yours. I wish you the very best Dharma.
on Dec 22, 2004
PS -- that response to you was my 20,000th point

glad it came on your blog!
on Dec 22, 2004

I wish you the very best Dharma.

Thank you.  You too!

I can sympathize with feeling a little "bruised".

I think that anyone who's over the age of 25 or so can relate to that.  Especially this time of year...

 

PS -- that response to you was my 20,000th point

glad it came on your blog

Yay!  Me too!!

on Dec 22, 2004
I can feel most of what you wrote, and trust me I can undertand your situation.. You konw mine......

I'm off to the club to try to forget for a little while. I'll try to mail you tommorrow.....
on Dec 23, 2004
Very well said...I think most of us could find ourselves in that description, or most of it. 
on Dec 23, 2004
Hey Dharma...

Hugs to ya.
on Dec 23, 2004
Hope u feelin better dharma. I think you're one helluva woman and that you're real, so dont change

Merry Xmas to you and your family.
on Dec 23, 2004

Dharma, I totally understand the sentiments behind this blog. I told Zombie before he married me that I was "damaged goods" and came "as is". I still feel like that from time to time, but usually it is temporary.


I hope you learn to realize that you are so much more than the things you have written here. You are a caring, loving, interesting and fascinating (my definition of "flighty") woman.

on Dec 23, 2004

I can feel most of what you wrote, and trust me I can undertand your situation..

I thought you might be able to...

I think most of us could find ourselves in that description, or most of it.

It seems to be a universal feeling...

 

Hugs to ya

Right back at ya!

I think you're one helluva woman and that you're real, so dont change

Wow...thank you!  That's one of the nicest things anyone's said to me...!  I'm not going to change...not drastically, anyway.

I still feel like that from time to time, but usually it is temporary.

It is for me too.  

 

I hope you learn to realize that you are so much more than the things you have written here.

I do.  I know that I am more than the sum of my parts.  I know that I'm more things than i wrote here...I just find it difficult to write self-praising articles. I'm just not like that, dig?  I can run myself down until the cows come home...but ask me to tell you something positive about me and I'll have to sit and think about it.  I think that you're a lot like that too, Heather.  Dunno why, there's nothing that you've said (or haven't said)...I just get that impression.

on Dec 24, 2004

I'm just not like that, dig? I can run myself down until the cows come home...but ask me to tell you something positive about me and I'll have to sit and think about it. I think that you're a lot like that too, Heather. Dunno why, there's nothing that you've said (or haven't said)...I just get that impression.

Oh boy are you right. My husband's goal for the last eight years is teaching me just to say "Thank you" and nothing else to a compliment. If some one says I am pretty, I always laugh it off and say something sarcastic like "Thanks but you obviously don't get out much if you think so." Now I can at least say, "Thank you, I am glad you think so." Better than before, but it is such a struggle. Dharma we are so much alike it is scary.

Hang in there. This feeling will pass as we both know. It is a temporary thing.

*hugs*

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