For someone who's really smart and has been a cop for over a decade, my husband does some pretty dumb stuff at times.

Like the other night.

Dave was at work. I was sitting at the computer, browsing the JU forums.  It was late-ish, the kids were in their rooms, the lights were off in the house and the doors were locked.

I hear the kitchen screen door open.  Then I hear the doorknob rattle....being the semi-paranoid person that I am, I scurry down the hallway in my nightie and grab the 'equalizer' (Louisville slugger)from under my side of the bed.  I slink back up the hallway (in the dark still), bat raised, and stand semi-behind the hallway door, waiting to see what i can hear coming from the rest of the house.

The hallway door opens, and a dark figure starts to come through the open doorway.  I leap out, shrieking like a banshee, and swing my bat....

"Arrgggh!  What the fuck are you doing, Karen???!!!!!! You could have killed me!!!!"

"Shit!!!  You idiot Dave!!!!  I could have killed you!!!!!!"

"I came home to get a snack....the door was locked..."

"Why didn't you ring the bell or knock?!  You scared the poo out of me!!"

"Why didn't you come see who was at the door??"

"Yeah, someone's breaking into my house and I'm going to mosey on over there and see who the hell it is?!  Are you NEW???!!!!!"

......and thus ends the sad tale of how I almost bashed my husband's head in with a baseball bat.