I understand exactly what you are going through.
This time last year my oldest son, Joshua, was failing the first grade even though he's incredibly bright. He had all the exact symptoms you've described with your boy Jake (my youngest son is a Jake also). Heather (my wife) and I had him tested with his pediatrician and several psychologists... he is severe ADHD.
The good news is that there is a variety of workable treatments for your son that will HELP him. Medications are varied, and it may take some time to find what works for him if you choose to go that route. Josh takes his meds every morning, and they allow him to function like a normal child through most of the day. Around 6pm or so they start to wear off and he's "all over the place" again, kinda like a train on too many tracks, until he finds that one thing that interests him, then NOTHING else matters.

Medication isnt the only solution. Many children are triggered by citrus fruits, including fresh fruit and concentrated drinks. Talk to Jake's doctor about foods that may effect him, because it's easy enough to remove specific types of items for a week at a time and see how your son reacts mentaly.
Most importantly, stay involved. It's obvious you love your son, let him know he's ok, that everyone has some little thing that makes them different. Love and patience is the thing you can give your son as he deals with the changes that may effect his life.

Im marking this thread as "Watched" so if you have any questions for me or my wife, just drop us a line here. And good luck, you've got our prayers.

Just please, please don't put him on ritalin. Been that route when I was a "hyperactive" (a rose by any other name.....) kid, and seen it plenty. It doesn't work. In fact, it just made things much, much worse when it wore off.

ADD usually does eventually lessen, (muhahahaha, see? I turned out fine!), and look at it this way, it's most common among the smartest children. (which I'm sure they are, as they're related to you.)

My sister was in the same boat years ago. Actually, sometimes she'd surpass hyper and move straight to violent temper tantrums. We finally found her trigger - red food dye. Sugar was a contributor, but not as strong. What chilled her out almost instantly was peanut butter - something to do with the protien it gets into your system so rapidly. After switching the whole family over to a completely sugar free diet and eliminating as much artificial coloration as we could, she was pretty much normal again.

Your milage may vary, but I'd give it a shot. Give him a peanut butter sandwich when he's pinging and observe his behavior over the next hour. Make note of how long after he eats and what he eats and what his behavior does. And it might not be sugar, dye, or anything similar to my sister's situation... heck, it could be milk products or who knows what. Just keep one eye on him and one on the clock and see if it's a particular timeframe that he gets into certain states - then figure out why.

Of course, it could be a non-dietary chemistry issue as well, but I think it's worth a shot to consider this as a potential.

Zombie...thank you so much.  I truly, honestly mean that.  I thought that because Jake could concentrate on at least one thing, that there was nothing wrong with him, that he just didn't have enough self discipline to stick to a plan.  I see now that that might not be the case. 

In a way, i'm relieved that i'm not imagining things.  that the things I have described here are 'normal' for a kid that has adhd...

jake's having a bad night tonight.  i sent him to bed, but i can hear him in his room, talking to himself and laughing hysterically at what he's saying.  earlier he was almost uncontrollable, running around the house screaming and throwing things.  the other day at the commissary, he was pretending he was a pinball and bouncing himself from side to side of the aisles....all this despite his dad and i telling him off for it and one trip to the bathroom for a but swat (his dad's idea, i learned a long time ago that swatting and spanking just don't work for jake)

again, zombie, i cannot begin to tell you how thankful i am for your help and advice.

SNS: there are plenty of other meds these days.....ritalin isn't the only one.

Of course, it could be a non-dietary chemistry issue as well, but I think it's worth a shot to consider this as a potential.

i'm considering anything at the moment.  i'm thinking about adhd, food allergies...you name it, i've thought of it.  i am going to give it a try, though.  i'm withdrawing sugar and red/orange/yellow food dyes tomorrow for a week to see how that goes.  he's still going to the doctor.....and i'm hoping that we get some answers.

My oldest has ADHD, dharma. I remember having the same feelings and concerns you expressed here.

As much as there is a stigma attached to the diagnosis, it is so much better that the teachers know why he behaves and reacts in the ways that he does. Instead of being labeled as a "bad kid" and stuck in the corner, the teachers know that he needs help focusing and calming himself or needs help being drawn into the lesson. It has been a great blessing for my son to have been diagnosed. He has been fortunate to have excellent teachers who have been very understanding and willing to do what they need to do to get the best performance and the most learning out of him. We did try him on medication (Concerta) for about a month, but we decided that it made him "not himself," and we decided we would rather him learn to deal with his ADHD without medication.

Sorry to ramble . . . what I really want to say is, I'm sorry about the news, but keep an open mind because it might turn out to be a very beneficial thing for your precious son. Best wishes.

BTW, SPC . . . did you know that they have done studies that show that people with ADHD (or ADD) tend to be very successful in careers that provide a lot of discipline and structure (like the military, nudge, nudge)?

As much as there is a stigma attached to the diagnosis, it is so much better that the teachers know why he behaves and reacts in the ways that he does. Instead of being labeled as a "bad kid" and stuck in the corner, the teachers know that he needs help focusing and calming himself or needs help being drawn into the lesson.

that's what i'm trying to focus on, tex.  that if we can get a firm diagnosis he won't just be the kid who can't pay attention anymore...that we'll be given some tools to help him fulfill his potential and be our jake again.

thanks for the comment, i'm touched and thankful that you know how it is.

Dharmagrl, it's cool. One of the things you'll find is the massive community that is available to support Jake. Here's a few things you can ask the teachers to do immediatly to help him, regardless of diagnosis:
Have teachers break up his assignments into smaller portions. Many children with attention problems do much better answering only 5 questions at a time instead of 25 or even 50. This works great with tests. Breaking up the work can be as simple as covering up the remaining questions with a sheet of typing paper, having the teacher only reveal 5 new problems at a time.
Have the teacher send things like spelling words home a week ahead of time. Tutoring your child for brief periods of time in the afternoon can do wonders.
I'll post more tomorrow, after I get this work done and this crazy election is over (my wife is yelling at the TV ).

I'll post more tomorrow, after I get this work done and this crazy election is over (my wife is yelling at the TV ).

I'm yelling too....and I'll look forward to it!  thanks again!

I'd suggest you don't accept a single doctor's diagnoses - get at least 2 opinions.

He may have learned what he can get away with and like any other kid he pushes the limits to see just how much farther he can go. Or he might be living down to a label that somebody put on him without your knowledge (a stray comment is all it takes). With the way schools have been dumbed down it's also possible that he is just bored to tears and does whatever he can to amuse himself.

I hope for the best, no matter what you'll have your work cut out for you. Good luck.

I'd suggest you don't accept a single doctor's diagnoses - get at least 2 opinions.

I think that the way it works around here is that he sees our pediatrician, who refers him to a psychologist to give the final 'yay' or 'nay' to the diagnosis.

thanks for the advice!

K~
Hmmmm...okay...here's my take on meds.

For some kids it works...I mean...you see a 180 degree turn...and you have a whole different kid who's getting those A's, able to sit still, able to participate.

BUT...you know...boys and girls are wired differently, you know? There's different expectations for them. Girls are "supposed" to be quiet, and read, and be "smart"...and boys are "supposed" to be rambunctious, etc. Aside from those expectations and stereotypes...boys and girls really are just naturally different.

I guess I haven't figured out how to address that in my class. My kids are just first graders, learning how to go to school ALL day long, and they just are tired in the afternoon. I have one that I think might be ADD...but...I think alot of them are just chatters.

I'd say that if the dr. suggests meds...try them...you can ALWAYS go off them if they don't work. And be sure to give those meds enough time to work you know? If you don't see somethign in 2 weeks...wait a month or two...those things need time to work.

Sorry...I guess I don't know if that's good advice or not...or even if you're looking for it. But as an educator, that's my take. ESPECIALLY if you see those behaviors at home too.

And really...its about getting your boy the help he needs...you know? Its about him doing and being his best. Don't let that stigma of "meds" get to you know...if its a catalyst for success for your son...its worth it, right?

I am a single father raising a 9 year old boy that went thru the ADHD hell with his school and his doctor at age 7. Please make sure that you always question everything that you are told by both and never give in to the pressure that you have and will no doubt expreience. His school told me he could not continue to attend unless he was "properly" medicated. I took him to a specialist and within 20 minutes he had a perscription for Metadate CD. I DO NOT want to see anyone else experience what I did in the coming months. Metadate CD is fairly new but the specialist swore by it so I naturally started him on it immediately. Initial side effects were loss of appetite and change in sleeping habits (insomnia to be more specific). Within a few weeks he was very lethargic with very little desire to play as a normal 7 year old boy normally does. His personality was totally changed and his previous love of drawing and painting was gone. He only drew stick figures after a month. The school couldn't be happier. He sat glassy eyed all day in class and never "disturbed" the teacher. Month 2 was when I realized that I had made a HUGE mistake in allowing the system to turn my son into another statistic. He began to show signs of paranoia. He was afraid to say or do anything for fear of failure so he simply shut down. I took him back to his doctor and he decided to start him on another ADHD drug without much more attention then he paid to his first visit. I took him to another doctor and was given almost the same advice. After a few sleepless nights and a lot of research I decided to wean him off the drugs and take the advice of my mother. She told me I went thru a similar phase but back then they called it stubborness and the cure was a very structured daily routine with no "wiggle" room. It required complete dedication from me from the moment I woke till the moment my son closed his eyes at night but it was worth it. There were many tough days and he faught me like a champ but by this late summer something just clicked and now he's a happy, healthy fourth grader with good grades and an eagerness to learn that he never had when he was doped up. Since then, I was shocked to find out how many children in his school are "doped" in order to mantain order and discipline. In my opinion, this takes the place of the hard work and dedication it takes from both teachers and parents to break in the more "stubborn" children that have always been around. It worked for me, and thank god, it worked for my son. Fight it every step of the way because no one cares more about your son than you do and, in many cases, you can beat it. wishing you all the best - from someone who knows. -z

Marcie, I was hoping you'd respond....

Jake is 'different' to his brother and his sister.  both are good students, both get rambunctious, both can be silly kids sometimes.  Jake seems to be stuck in the 'silly kid/rambunctious' phase...all the time.  occasionally i see that he's calm, and then i make sure to sit with him and make the most of it...whether we read, play a board game, do some math, whatever.....i try to maximize the time that we have. most of the time, however, he's bouncing off the walls and cannot follow instructions or listen to save his life. 

I'm not a big fan of medicating kids.  I think that it tends to mask the root issue.  but, right now, there's no way in hell i'm going to be able to get jake to understand that he has to work on controlling his behaviour.  it's just not going to sink in...hell it hasn't sunk in yet and i've been telling him and working with him for months.  if meds help him to understand what he needs to do, then i'm all for medicating him until he gets a handle on himself and then weaning him off once he's got the necessary skills to cope with what he's feeling and thinking.

and yes, it is worth it. 

i just wonder if I did something wrong....

Please make sure that you always question everything that you are told by both and never give in to the pressure that you have and will no doubt expreience. His school told me he could not continue to attend unless he was "properly" medicated.

I always second guess doctors.  I usually go to appointments with lists of questions to ask....so no worries there.

Bottom line, I want what's best for my child.