But if you dont, they'll know your just another easily intimidated white that they can push around. Its a difficult situation, and i wish i knew the answer.

I'd rather be called a racist and have me and mine stand up for ourselves than anything else.

Do parents not see the way their kids act?  I know how my kids are...I know they're no angels.  The parents I spoke to, however, refused to believe that their lil' Tyrone smacked my Davey's glasses off his head. "your boy musta done somethin' to my boy to make him act like that.  yeah, that's it...your boy made my boy act that way".  Bullshit!  Do you not see your kid flashing gang symbols at everyone who walks by? Do you not understand that being in detention at school every damn weekend because he can't behave himself isn't normal?  That not every kid gets into trouble with the cops?

Like I said, I don't get it.

Hey Dharma...

There is a couple of influences I can see..

1. Television
2. Pop Culture

I see it with my nephews, who really do have respect but every now and then try it on to see how far they can go, but really if we did the things they did im certain I would have got my ass kicked to high heaven long long ago. But they know what they can get away with now. It really is sad because you can see the next generation and really how sad the world might become.

btw.. I had a relaxing weekend away from computer and soaked up alot of vitamin D.

That really sucks that you are going through that.
I have two words for those kids that are being so dis-respectful...work camp.
I am also in awe of the dwindeling level of respect kids have for thier elders.
I think the there is a lack of disiplin with the kids of today because so many kids parents work full time jobs or a too busy from other things going on to take time to fully disiplin. It sounds redicilious but it is true. I worked at an after school program where kids would be at our site from 12 noon until 6:30 pm. They were usually the ones who acted out the most. But their parents did nothing to dis-courage their behaviour.
A lot of the time I have seen a busy parent over-compinsate for their abscence with gifts. So children learn that not only can they behaive however they want and not get punished, but they are rewarded with their parents abscence.
Good luck to you.

I think the there is a lack of disiplin with the kids of today because so many kids parents work full time jobs or a too busy from other things going on to take time to fully disiplin.

I don't think it sounds ridiculous at all, Brenda.  I think that you've hit the nail on the head, to be honest. 

Boot camps are wonderful things, IMO. 

The problem is parents dont beat their kids anymore. Kids were alot more respectful when they were afraid of a good beating.

Seriously, I dont beat my kids, but they are very well behaved because my wife and I vowed early on to establish firm boundries with swift and consistant punishments. My children know exactly what their boundries are, what is unacceptable behaviour, and what will happen if they cross the line.

They also know they are loved unconditionally and that they can discuss anything with us. Punishments are a mix, depending on severity of infraction, ranging from time out, grounding and/or punishment oriented work to actually spanking their little butts (for serious things, like playing with electrical outlets and kicking each other in the head). Punishments are ALWAYS consistant - throw rocks at your friend and you will always get spanked. Throw all the sprinklers on the roof and you will always be grounded.

Also, grounding is grounding, not vacation from friends. Electronics are cut off, video games are gone and except for going to school, the child stays inside, bored to tears. I saw too many of my friends growing up get 'grounded' only to have Mom take them shopping for new clothes or shoes. These kids thought it was funny how they always got Mom to reward them for being grounded, and they invariably got in trouble again.

Chores are not a punishment because we do not want them associating regular work habits with punishment. Too many parents dont have a plan for their kids, dont have guidelines for kids behaviour, and dont care to take the time to invest personally in their childrens development.

Hi, Zombie man, and welcome to my blog!

I got whupped when I was a kid.  It made me scared of my dad, and I hated that....I swore I wouldn't do it to my kids, and I haven't, for the most part.  I do spank, though.  I think sometimes it's necessary.

You parent much like I parent.  My kids get spanked for serious stuff....and they don't have to get spanked very often anymore.  Grounding, however, is more frequent, and it's not just a break from friends for them either.  Grounding means spending time in the house with no TV, radio, video games, or computer privileges.  

I honestly think that the advent of a 'have it all' culture has had a profound effect on the attitudes of kids. 

What happened to the days when kids dare not back-talk an adult? When I was a kid, you didn't smart mouth a grown-up. If you talked back to them, you did so respectfully and politely. You didn't cop an attitude, and you sure as hell didn't cuss at someone. So, what went wrong? When (and why) did parents stop teaching their kids to show some respect to their elders? I just don't get it.

Want to know where it went? It went to he** in a handbasket right along with being able to disipline our children. If their momma tried switching them now like you and I remember. The kids would scream "abuse" and "momma" would be in jail. You can thank ALL the feel gooders for this one!

I am not a parent so I am offering my opinion as Aunt Colleen here. I not only believe boundries are the answer here but also spending quality time with children is necessary. A lot of times these children that are exhibiting negative behaviors are doing so for the attention. Apparently from what I am seeing with your examples stated with meeting with these childrens parents and receiving that defensive reaction it appears it isn't occuring. If they were being defensive I for the life of me cannot imagine these individuals sharing healthy family time.

I cannot imagine a parent reacting in such a way, when you are addressing such an issue. I would have apologized for my child's behavior and invited you in asking you to fully explain the situation so it could be addressed with my child having the full facts.

It's a real shame you are enduring such ignorance without a rational parent in these equations.

Goodluck in the new neighborhood I hope things get better.

Have a good evening~!~

~Peace,Love,Health & Happiness ~Extended to you and your family

You can thank ALL the feel gooders for this one!

I'm of the opinion that parental rights have been slowly whittled away, and that parents in this country today have effectively been handcuffed when it comes to disciplining their children...and the kids know it.  They know that their parents can't hit them, and they play on that.  They have the attitude of 'you can't touch me and if you do I'll call the cops on you', and they use it at every opportunity.

You know, I can remember getting my ass beat by my dad.  I turned out alright.....

I would have apologized for my child's behavior and invited you in asking you to fully explain the situation so it could be addressed with my child having the full facts

Thanks, Colleen.  That's what I would have done too.  But, when you don't spend any time with your kids it's hard to see the 'real' them.  It's easier and nicer to keep the mnetal picture you've formed for yourself of your child being a little angel who does no wrong.

My husband's a cop, and he has to patrol our neighborhood some nights.  In the past week, he's caught one girl setting fire to a trash can at the playground, and a 9 year old spray painting an empty house.  The parents of the fire setter said that they'd 'talk to her' and shut the door in his face, and the graffiti artists mom said that the fault lay with the people who carelessly threw the cans of paint away in the trash, not her little cherub who went trash-can diving to get them out and vandalize government property.

With parental reactions like that, how can we expect children to accept responsibility for their own actions?  They're being taught by their parents to push blame off onto someone else.....it's only natural that they're going to follow suit!

That monster called political correctness has a lot to do with it. If you administer the good ole paddle board, you will be arrested and your kid can then sue you.

Otherwise, most of it is trash raising trash. Or, how can anything good come from bad?

ggray97

Or, how can anything good come from bad?

I understand what you're saying, but I have to point out that there are exceptions to that.  I know people who were raised horribly by their parents, and who recognized the need to break the cycle of poor parenting and do a better job with their kids than was done with them. 

Unfortunately those people are the exception rather than the rule.

Some parents just don't care. While ago I was living at an apartment, and I always see those packs of kids that's under 5 years old.

I once almost hit a fucking under 2 year old running around without any adult. Lucky, I was going under 5 mph because I was blinded by sun.

Many single mothers black or white are actually afraid of their children

Some parents just don't care.

Another bullseye.  As long as the kid isn't bothering them, they just don't care.

I'm not saying that every black parent doesn't parent their child properly, nor am i saying that every mom who works full-time is shirking her responsibility...it just happens that the kids in this neighborhood who are the worst behaved are the ones whose parents fit the bill.

So, what's the remedy for this epidemic?  How do we fix the problem?  Should this country start to untie parental hands?  Should women with children be encouraged to stay home?