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Published on October 5, 2004 By dharmagrl In Misc

A 'friend' of ours (I use the term very loosely, you'll see why in a bit) is going through a mid-life crisis.  I swear, this guy's losing his freakin' mind!

'F' is a detective.  He's been a detective for 6 years.  As a detective, you would think that he would have learned from his subject's mistakes - first of all, to not be decepetive, but secondly to cover your tracks and to not get caught. 

F and I have never really done well together.  We kept eah other at arm's length and were cordial to each other, but I've always considered him a self-centered, egotistical misogynistic asshole, and he's always thought me a bitch.  Recently, he hasn't done very well with anyone.  He found out that he was going to have to deploy for the first time in 6 years, and that his investigations job wasn't going to be waitng for him when he got back (he's been in that job for 6 years, normally people get rotated out every 2 years, so he was waaay overdue to get moved on)..and he set about buring as many bridges as he could.  He bad mouthed people, he slammed his colleagues, his superior officers and NCO's, and he was very vocal and very public in doing so.  He also took the opportunity to come on to me.  This man, who claims to love my husband "like a brother" told me that if I ever got "lonely" or in need of a little "affection: that I should call him.  That I'd be safer with him than with "some loser from the street", that he'd be "happy to take care of" me whilst my husband was gone.

F's current marriage (his third) hasn't been going well for some time now.  His wife just had a little girl, their second child together, in July.  F made it well known that the conception of the newest baby was the only time he had had sex with his wife in the last year.  He told her before he went off to a school this past summer that he wasn't happy, and that he thought they should use the time apart to consider their feelings for each other and re-evaluate the relationship.

So, F goes off to school, and what does he do?  He embarks on an affair. I shouldn't really call it an affair, I should really call it a booty-call. With a girl who's a good 10 years his junior (and is a junior rank to him to boot).  He calls her on his cell phone constantly (mistake number one, because his wife gets the bill) and then does something that causes myself and everyone who knows him to think that he's lost his mind.

He takes photographs of her.  Naked photos.  Pornographic photos.  Photos of him having sex with her, in various places, positions and at various times.  He then transferrers the photos to a jump drive, and when he comes back from this school and is getting ready to deploy, he asks a colleague (who's also a detective, and who recently got bad-mouthed by F) to "keep an eye" on it.  Bad move.  Of course, F's colleague wanted to see what was on the drive.....and was stunned to find out what F had been up to at school. By this time, F has left for a 6 month deployment, so is unavailable to give an explanation for his insane behaviour.

In the meantime, F's wife has been checking out their cell phone bill.  She finds some numbers she doesn't recognize on there - a lot of calls to the same number, late at night, and for extended periods of time - and calls them to find out what the heck is going on.  Imagine her surprise when the girl who own the cell phone number spills the beans about F's involvement with her.  F gets a phone call from a very irate soon-to-be-ex-wife, telling him that he screwed with the wrong person and that if she had her way he'd be lucky if she left him with the clothes he stood up in, much less his house and his car....

...F in turn, calls around to everyone he can think of, accusing them of spilling the beans to his wife.  No matter that he was stupid and he got caught, it's still someone else's fault.

I'm expecting to get a call from him this week.  I'm also going to have to sit my husband down sometime soon and tell him about his friend who had all this respect and love for him, but who volunteered to get into my pants.

I swear, F is losing his mind......

"
Comments
on Oct 05, 2004
Whoo hoo!
I think staying away from this one might be the best course of action.

Loonies on the way down love to start crap like this bubba.
Tell Dave and tell him to forget about him as a "Bud". Seen it before on both sides and I try to avoid people like this.
on Oct 05, 2004
Very Nice! Wow, Detective, huh? Batman this guy isn't... Oh, well, it's always entertaining to read about idiots. Sorry to hear that you have had to deal with this guy, though, especially in the way he tried to get 'closer'. Geeze what a *expletive deleted*! F doesn't stand for F***Hat, does it? That's what this guy sounds like. Well, he's going to get his, I'd say... It would be especially funny if the young lady in question gives him a good ration of crap to deal with, along with what his soon to be ex-wife gives him!
on Oct 05, 2004

Very Nice! Wow, Detective, huh? Batman this guy isn't... Oh, well, it's always entertaining to read about idiots

That's the thing that gets to me the most, Chip.  He was always going on about how he was a shit-hot investigator, how he was the best and how he had the most loyal troops...and then he goes and does some dumb-ass stuff like this! 

I think staying away from this one might be the best course of action.

Oh hell yeah Geez!  I have nothing to say to him.  Nothing at all. 

I did find out this evening that while his wife was visiting her sister after the birth of their child, F had girls from the squadron over to their house....apparently F's wife has decided she wants to stir up some crap and has gone to F's squadron commander demanding to know the who's and when's.

Wish me luck for tomorrow...I'm going to be as gentle as I can telling Dave, but I have a feeling he's going to be mighty pissed....

 

on Oct 05, 2004
wonder if he was a bipolar type?
on Oct 05, 2004
What a jerk!
on Oct 05, 2004

wonder if he was a bipolar type?

No...here's what I think the problem was/is:  F is the kind of guy who's the big "I am".  He has to have the big new car, the big nice house, the big screen TV...he's very concerned with the image he portrays.  He's managed to wangle his way out of deployments and TDY's for 6 years.  People in the squadron were getting really upset because he'd sat back in investigations all that time and hadn't gone anywhere - so the commander told him this time around that there was no way he was getting out of this deployment, that he had to go, and that his job as NCO In Charge of Investigations wouldn't be waiting for him when he got back because he needed to move on from that too.  F got pissed off about that, because then he wouldn't be the big investigator man anymore, he'd just be another cop on patrol.  That's when he started burning bridges.

As far as the marital situation - I've always said that they had a marriage of convienience.  They never did anything together, they never spent any time together.  She wanted to have the trophy husband, house and kids, and that's what she got.  He wanted pretty much the same thing, and that's what he got.  I don't know what went wrong there...

...here's an example of how self-centered this guy is:  2 nights before Dave left to go to greenland for a year, F called the house and wanted dave to go over there and hang out and party with him. Not me and the kids, just Dave by himself.  F couldn't understand why Dave said "no"...had to have it explained to him, and then said "But you'll have tomorrow night together...".

There's more, but I'll save that for a later date. 

on Oct 05, 2004

What a jerk!

Yep, Joey, that's pretty much what I thought (and still think) of him....

on Oct 05, 2004
Wow, what a moran. Absolutely, freakin' amazingly brilliant.
on Oct 05, 2004
What a dumbass
on Oct 06, 2004

Wow, what a moran. Absolutely, freakin' amazingly brilliant

Yep, those are my sentiments exactly, Doctor Dev!

TT: Dumbass and then some......I think he's in serious need of some psychological assistance.  I think he's either developed an addiction to sex, or he's suffering from a delusion that he's untouchable.  Either that or he just doesn't care any more....

The latest is that his wife is trying to get him Article 15'd. That's a non-judicial punishment for you non-military folks...that will stay in his records permanently, and he could end up losing rank and pay over it. They have all the evidence they need in the photographs.....that he took!  What a total dumbass...

on Oct 06, 2004
I really hope your husband realizes exactly what this jerk has been up to. People like him are like a fungus, they will just keep coming back, without warning. It is certainly someone your husband would be better without. What a toxic person!
on Oct 06, 2004

I really hope your husband realizes exactly what this jerk has been up to.

He does.  I told him today about F coming on to me...and other people have told hum about F's rotten attitude and behaviour of late.  All he said was " I guess you were right"...I told him from the start that I didn't care for F and that given half a chance I thought he'd screw people over.

No worries, F is in Baghdad now and will be there for the next 6 months.  After that, who knows...but as long as he doesn't get stationed where we are I don't really care!

on Oct 07, 2004
Baghdad.... any killing going on there? Nah...we want torture...
on Oct 07, 2004

Baghdad.... any killing going on there? Nah...we want torture...


Yes, they get mortared regularly.  Unfortunately, as LW so astutely saw, F has a victim complex, and being in Iraq will add fuel to his fire. Now, he'll complain about being villified whilst he was off fighting for this country.  No matter that he was the one who screwed everyone else over, it'll still be any and everyone else's fault.