Embarking on a friendship with God.

Published on September 29, 2004 By dharmagrl In Religion

I'm reading Donald Neale Walsh's 'Friendship with God'.

I'm embarking on my own friendship with Him.

It's hard. I have in my head the dogma of my youth....the rules and rituals of the Anglican church, the stuff I was taught in confirmation class about angry and vengeful gods...the things I saw and heard in Baptist churches about fire and brimstone, about homosexuality and adultery, about the sins of the fathers being visited on the sons....

I'm having difficulty accepting God as my buddy, my pal, my friend.

It just doesn't seem right. It's going against everything I've ever been taught. I feel that I should be on my knees before Him, worshipping him and glorifying Him. Accepting him as a friend, as a best friend, just feels...awkward and wrong, somehow.

Anyone got any advice?

Comments

Texas Wahine

on Sep 29, 2004

I don't know that I have any good advice since I am a sucky Christian, but I have been taught a lot of strict nonsense, too. I don't think I'll ever feel like I am "righteous," but maybe I'm not supposed to. I am very neglectful about having a "relationship" with God. It seems strange to me, also. I don't have an answer for you, dharma, but I think that God is pleased when we search and when we try, which is what you are doing. That's my understanding, anyways.

dharmagrl

on Sep 29, 2004

Thanks, Tex, for trying....

I'm just going to read more. Hopefully I'll get a better understanding.

Angloesque

on Sep 29, 2004

My closest times, even now while I'm agnostic (I try to believe, but it's really hard), are when I talk about God with other Christians. It helped that I went to and taught at a Christian college and had the most wonderful professors in the world, because we'd talk about it almost every day. I hate the word, but "fellowship" is the right one.

To find people, you don't necessarily have to be in a Bible study group--if you just get some people together to chat or to read a Christian book, it helps. I think it helps because you bring God to your level: discussing things you don't understand about him, discussing things you do, listening to other people going through the same or similar things. My mom swears that trying to understand the character of God is way better than trying to understand dogma, and I think she's got it right. She'd tell you to start with the gospel of John; I'd just tell you to avoid Daniel and Revelation (and Judges, and Leviticus and Numbers and Deuteronomy).

If you're into reading, you could try "The Search for God at Harvard." (A bit esoteric at times, but pretty enlightening about searching and seeing other people's journeys.) It might be out of print, but I have a copy if you want it.

-A.

dharmagrl

on Sep 29, 2004

A: Thanks, that would be wonderful!

It is hard to believe; my belief today comes after years of denying god and all things christian. It's been a long road home.....

foreverserenity

on Sep 29, 2004

I think the key thing here (in my opinion) is that you are trying to "embark your own friendship" with him. That is great. That is all he asks. You're questioning and you're reasoning and you're talking about him, as we all are. This is good. He likes that. What you feel innermost in your own heart is what it is and what it should be for you.

"I feel that I should be on my knees before Him, worshipping him and glorifying Him."
In the bible it does say that we should glorify him. If this is your feeling, then do so.

I always believed deep within myself and I've said it many times to people who asks me why I don't go to church right now; (I was once an avid church-goer and since moving I've not found one that I like yet), that you don't have to go into a church to worship him (and I know a lot of people will disagree). You can do that anywhere, even in the bathroom - and that's where I end up praying and talking to him most of the time! When you have a toddler who follows your every move this is good! Fellowship ( that word again) is the right word, doing this you talk to others and ask questions, as we are doing now. The internet and email is a wonderful thing cause my friends and I do that a lot. I don't know it all, but I can safely say, you're on the right track, just go with your heart and let it happen.

Angloesque

on Sep 29, 2004

A: Thanks, that would be wonderful!

Do you want me to send that to you? It's in our to-eBay pile. Might be a little marked up since I had to read it for a class.

-A.

dharmagrl

on Sep 29, 2004

Do you want me to send that to you? It's in our to-eBay pile.

Yes please! I'll pay you for the postage and for the book....my email addy is on the right, at the bottom of the 'blogs i like' list. Let me know how much it all comes to!

Janders

on Sep 29, 2004

Karen~ My upbringing in the Christian church was a different experience than yours, so I don't know if my advice will be helpful.
What I have been taught above all else is "God is Love". He loves you unconditionally, no matter what. He loves you when you don't even love yourself. No matter your sexual preferance or any sins you have commited, He loves you.

What I feel is that my religion helps me lead a life that I can try and be proud of. I'm not saying you have to believe in God, to be proud of your life, but it has worked that way for me.

I have a lot to say on this, but I feel really private about my religion, I would be happy to share with you if you want to drop me an email.

MarcieMoo

on Sep 30, 2004

Hmmmm...I guess I've never read any of Walsh's work, so I don't know what "God" we're talking about...

I think its awesome you're addressing your spirituality though...so many of us neglect that very alive part of ourselves.

My thing...I guess I know about the Christian God...the God I have my friendship with. There are two sides of my God that we see in the Bible. The Old Testament shows us a God who gives instruction for wise living, who gives laws to live by, and who is the God of second, third, fourth, etc., chances. We also see a God who is just...and that makes us think "how could He...this One who is supposed to be loving and kind, do this sort of thing?"

My response is this...if you're a parent, think about your own children. If you're not a parent...imagine you are, or think about your parents and how they raised you. Most people had/have parents that set rules and standards and then if those rules or standards were not followed, there was a punishment or consequence. THat's the God in the OT that I see anyway...we love our kids...give them every opportunity to do the right thing, but if they don't...they need to know that its wrong, and you throw a road block up for that behavior.

The God I see in the New Testament is a little different...He's not just dealing with Israel...He's dealing with the world...Jesus (God in flesh) is out there teaching people, loving people, healing people, and gently steering them the right way. The pictures I see in my head while I read the NT are just...of the best teacher anyone has ever seen...you want to sit and listen for hours because you know that teacher is telling you the truth, and that teacher loves you...

I dunno...I'm not good at explaining. God is a friend, a buddy, a pal, as you say, but if you let Him, He can be more than that too.

And...it depends on what church you go to...I went to a Baptist church when I was little too...and while I understood that there were consequences for my decisions and whatever, I also knew that above else, I was loved more than I could fathom.

We're going to a church here in Vegas that accepts EVERYONE...no matter where they are in their life, no matter if they're unwed parents, young families, homeless, teenagers with dreads...it was so cool to worship with people from every walk of life. It was just like I think Heaven will be.

Sorry...I suppose I should have written my own article...but...you know how I am on this topic.

Take care, Karen, Housewife and Mom Extraordinaire!

Texas Wahine

on Sep 30, 2004

We're going to a church here in Vegas that accepts EVERYONE...no matter where they are in their life, no matter if they're unwed parents, young families, homeless, teenagers with dreads

There are churches that don't?

dharmagrl

on Sep 30, 2004

Janders: I'll send you one later - thanks for the comment!

Marcie: I've been thrown a few road blocks in the last year, and I think that's part of the reason I'm having such a hard time with accepting a friendship....but at least I'm considering what it would take, which is more than I would have done a year ago.

Tex: Yeah, there are churches that don't. I have the uncanny knack of finding and attending those that don't. On the surface they make it seems as though they are accepting of you, but underneath they're very clique-y and gossipy...and it doesn't take too long before you start feeling not-so-welcome there. Another reason I turned away...

MarcieMoo

on Sep 30, 2004

Tex...hmmmm...yeah...my guess is there are. There's lots of churches out there that will shun an unwed mom, or will abandon someone who is going through a divorce, etc. I think my church in Minnesota was kind of like that, but this one..I don't see it. I think this one would rather love the pain away versus shutting doors on relationships.

Dharma said it best...that's exactly how my baptist church is at home. My family has been going to that church ever since my great-grandparents moved to America, you know? They helped start that church. But...still...even though my family takes one one whole pew, we aren't best friends with the pastor, we don't fill the offering plate like others do, we aren't talented enough to share special music...we aren't part of the mucky-muck clique in church...the gossip mill.

dharmagrl

on Sep 30, 2004

we aren't part of the mucky-muck clique in church...the gossip mill.

Neither were we. Dave and I taught Sunday School, helped out in the nursery, gave, donated, really tried to be part of the community...but we were just treated as if we didn't exist (until we stopped going, teaching and helping, then all of a sudden we were missed). Maybe it was the denomination - but I think that it's pretty much a universal thing. It doesn't help that it was a church on base; the officer/enlisted divide had a lot to do with it, I think.

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