We said that if our marriage could survive this past year, we'd be able to survive anything. I'm inclined to amend that to 'if our marriage can survive the past year AND the subsequent reunion we can survive anything'.

I hadn't ever thought about that, Karen, but it makes complete sense. I have faith that you will sail through this challenge...but you know where I am if you need to vent during the tougher days!

As long as Dave gets along with the crabs and kitties, you should be fine   Just kidding.  That must be quite weird though.  You've been forced to be both mom and dad for a year and run the whole household.  Now you have to step aside when it comes to a lot of things.  That will surely take some getting used to.  You sound like you are mentally preparing though.  I am sure you guys will do great.

Best wishes.

I was alone most of the summer when I was married, it was hard to transition back into being a "couple" when my ex got back. 'Course he was abusive!

I think you guys will be fine. You miss him so much, it will probably be like you're newly-weds again!

(all except for 3 months in January when he came home on leave).

I meant weeks, not months.....duh!

I think we'll be ok.  We already talked about expectations etc, and that we'd try and be careful about what we say before opening our mouths...we know there will be difficulties, there always are, but we're expecting them and can deal with them.

I just don't like his mom.  His step-mom and dad I love, but his mom....left him and his sister when they were 3 and 2, ran off with some guy she met in a bar, had another kids, left her, ran off with another guy....sits home all day and smokes pot because she's "depressed"...hasn't called us in close to 2 years, hasn't spoken to her grandchildren in 4 years, but when we were there the last time made a huge fucking deal about us telling them that she is their 'real'  grandma. 

That's the kind of family we're going to be dealing with.  That's why the sooner we get offered a house at our next base the better!  That way we have an excuse to leave!

I hope and pretty much think things will turn out all right. It may take some time and effort, but I am sure that you will all pull through. Nic.

hint....after the first 2 or 3 days, send the children to stay with someone else for the next 2 or 3 days. You need some time as a couple to reconnect without distraction. hint #2....sex, sex, and more sex, followed by slopping around the house and just being sloth-like....hehehe. Take the phone off the hook, disconnect the doorbell, close the shades.....you have some stressful times ahead, take a few days just for you as a couple, regardless of who else is making demands on your time.

That's what we'd usually do.  Unfortunately, we have a weekend of nothing to do (well, I say that, but the kids are desperate to take their dad swimming both days so they can show him how well they're doing) and then we're moving.  The packers are coming on the 16th and 17th, the picker-uppers on the 18th, we're cleaning the house on the 18th and 19th, then we're getting inspected and leaving on the 20th...to go stay with our in laws in Indiana. 

We are, however, planning on leaving the children in Indiana with their grandparents for a couple of days and driving to our new base to see if they have a house ready for us and to check the place out in general.  That's what I'm looking forward to.  I get Dave, my husband, my love....not in Dad mode or son mode or anything else.  He gets me, not in mom mode or anything else...and I think that's the time that we'll find ourselves getting our groove back.

We did #2 when he was home on leave in Jan.  We both said afterwards that those were the best times we had...not going out to eat, not drinking, not shopping or anything else....just being, together.

That was some good advice, LW.  Thank you.

I remember when my first husband and I were apart for 8 months, when he went to basic, then school, and then off to Germany to find us a place to live....and then our son and I had to fly over there to meet him. Talk about a bundle of nerves....new house, new country, and virtually a new man.....we'd both changed so much in that time, we had to get to know each other all over again. Just take it slow, let the usual routine go by the wayside for a while, and let everyone find their place in the scheme of things again. As much as you guys love each other, you'll find the way to work it out!!

That's the kind of family we're going to be dealing with.

Thanks for, once again, reminding me how nice it is not to HAVE inlaws this time around!!

I get Dave, my husband, my love....not in Dad mode or son mode or anything else. He gets me, not in mom mode or anything else...and I think that's the time that we'll find ourselves getting our groove back.

That's good to hear....because I agree with LW, THAT is very important!

we'd both changed so much in that time, we had to get to know each other all over again.

I know, and that's what scares me.  It shouldn't, I should be looking at this as an opportunity to re-date my husband all over again...perhaps if I look at it like that it won't be so scary anymore.....

(all except for 3 months in January when he came home on leave). I meant weeks, not months.....duh!

I was gonna say... that's some leave!

Do you know if the Air Force has services available for this sort of thing? I believe in the Army it's called "reunion training." Sometimes it's so pathetic it's a joke, and it's usually offered by the Chaplaincy, and you're moving right away... maybe you could get some fliers with info and helpful suggestions, before he comes home?
I'd like to think that just the two of you seeing each other again will make everything right, but... well, I'm not an optimist. (Not only about this, tho, dear.)

OK, make way, subject matter expert here. J/K My fiance of 5 years and I recently moved in together after 3 years apart. Sometimes you can forget that you actually wanted to live together. But, you get used to each other and it just kinda works.

We said that if our marriage could survive this past year, we'd be able to survive anything. I'm inclined to amend that to 'if our marriage can survive the past year AND the subsequent reunion we can survive anything'.

Yeah, the imagery of a broadsword being forged in fire comes to mind. It definetely makes me respect my relationship more. Good luck with it. I'm sure It'll all be good. : )

I know it's nots the same, but often husband and I work opposite shifts, and when we haven't seen eachother for many days when we see eachother and try to spend time together we end up arguing. I think it is because you get used to doing things your own way.

It always helps to have lots of sex to make us get along!

Well just don't let him wander the country wearing an bandanna and carrying a survival knife, he's liable to get into trouble and make bad sequels...

...now if he were to fight alien predators he could become Governor!!! That's it, steer him toward aliens...


(this is one of those posts that I just channel. Take it up with whoever is possessing me at the moment, I'm not responsible.)

Pseudo:  I'm used to be 'Key Spouse' and part of my job was telking to women about what to expect when their husbands came home from deployment.  As usual, I have a hard time taking my own advice, and Dave and I have had to learn what NOT to do that hard way.  He's been deployed a lot before, yes, but never for this long, so this is going to be a whole different ball of wax.  However, we've talked about it, and he has some of the same concerns that I do (that I won't 'need' him anymore, that he'll upset me in some way  etc etc)...I think we'll be fine.  As long as we realize that it's going to take some getting used to...well, that's the key, really.

On the brighter side...my in laws have agreed to let us leave the kids with them for a few days whilst we go off to our new base and check into housing etc etc, so we'll get some time alone.  I'm thinking a couple of days/nights with just the two of us...perhaps an evening in St Louis.....yeah, this is gonna be fine. 

Negrodamus...good to see you here! I like that imagery too...I'll pass that one on to Dave.

Janders.....yep, make-up sex after a fight is always good !