I talked to my dad this morning.  He's having a bad day today, so listening to him struggle with words was hard for me to hear.  He got his point across, though.

He wants to pay for Lonesome, the kids and I to go on vacation to England to see them.  He was going to bring my mom on vacation here to the US, but he can't get medical insurance.  He's too ill.  He's been too ill for years.  He's 76, been retired for 11 years, and lives off of a state pension.  My mom too.  So, paying for our flights is going to make a significant dent in their savings account. 

I am so touched...I can't even begin to tell you.  See, my dad and I never did well together for years. He scared me.  He'd yell, and he'd hit, and he was exquisitely bad tempered.  My mom tells me that when I was little I'd get so scared of him when he yelled at me I'd pee in my pants.  I don't recall that particular aspect of it, but I do remember being scared. 

My dad was the eldest child of a farm hand and a housewife.  He had 5 siblings, and they all learned at an early age that they either helped around the farm or they starved.  He left school at 15, and apprenticed as a bricklayer and stone mason until he turned 18...at which time he was drafted to the British Army and got shipped out to Palestine.  Whilst there, he drove a truck over a land mine and suffered some shrapnel injuries - injuries that would wreak havoc with his hips and knees for the rest of his life.  After he was released at the age of 20 he went back to working as a bricklayer and stone mason.  He married my mom in 1955, and my brother was born in 1956.  He would be the only biological child my parents would produce; they adopted me 13 years later and subsequently my little brother 5 years after that.  My dad decided to go self-employed in 1970 and stayed self-employed until 1985.

My dad had cartilage damage to his knees, and when I was 10 he had surgery on them.  He had replacement hip surgery when I was 15 (necessary because of the shrapnel damage), his first heart attack 2 months after that, and 9 more heart attacks in the year following.  He underwent quadruple bypass surgery, and, despite all his pain and the fact that he had to fold his business, went back to work as a stone mason and bricklayer in 1987.  In the 2 years he was unemployed (and unemployable) we were living on their savings to suppliment the small state payments he was drawing.  He said that's what they were there for, a rainy day...and we were having rainy days so he was going to use them.   Money was tight, it was really tight, but my brother and I never went without.  He worked until he was 65, the required age to collect a state pension, then he retired.  In 1992 he had a knee replacement (more shrapnel damage), then he had his prostate removed. The knee replacement never healed,  and he had repeated bouts of cellulitis which required hospitalizations, so he had to have it re-done in 1994.  In 1996 he had a repeat quadruple bypass surgery, and was started on a heavy regimen of coumadin and other cardiac medications.  He's been hospitalized I don't know how many times since then for his cardiac issues, and over Christmas 2003 he had a series of strokes, which affected his speech and caused facial paralysis.  His physician found a clot in his carotid, and despite the significant risk the surgery placed on his life, dad decided he wanted to go ahead and have it.  It was semi successful...whilst he got most of his facial movement back he still has problems with his speech sometimes, especially when he's tired. He can't walk properly anymore, his hip and knee and too painful (the second knee replacement never healed properly either) so he has an electric scooter that he gets around on. He paid for it himself, he refused financial aid for it.  He still gardens, he still gets out and about...in fact, last weekend he built a barbecue for my elder brother.  He had to give up his car in 1999; he lost confidence in his ability to drive, but he'll take the bus or a taxi before he'll accept a ride from anyone. 

So, my dad's had a hard life.  Physically, financially...it wasn't until I got out on my own that I really understood why he was so short tempered when I was growing up.  He was stressed out all the time...he was in physical pain, he was trying to push past that physical pain and keep working so that he could support his family, and when he got ill he was worried about money and having to claim welfare - to him that was just as bad as going bankrupt - and about how the money he did have was running out.  I don't know exactly how bad it got, but I do know that the money they have saved now is money they worked damn hard for.

So, for him to volunteer, to almost insist that he pay for a family of 5 to fly from the US to London and back...a cost of $5,000 if we go from SD...is huge.  Lonesome says that there's no way he's going to let him pay for it, but I think that he underestimates the entity that is my dad.  I mean, look at everything he's accomplished so far...there's no way he's going to let his son-in-law tell him "no", not now.  Once dad has his mind set that he's going to do something, he does it.  Regardless.

BTW...my dad and I never say 'I Love You'....but the last 3 times I've spoken to him he's said it as we're hanging up the phone.  It makes me cry every single time.

I love my dad.  He has always done the best for me that he could.  He raised me the best way he knew how.  What more could a kid really ask for?