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Published on August 19, 2007 By dharmagrl In Misc

Tomorrow is the first day of school for me.  I haven't been a college student....well, in quite some time.  Years.....and that's what scares me.

I'm scared.  I can't pinpoint exactly what I'm scared of; it's more of a generalized scared.  I'm a little scared of getting lost, of being late, of not fitting in, of.....of a whole bunch of things.  The one thing that I'm NOT worried or scared about, though, is the class work.  I KNOW I can do that.

I guess that I'm afraid of change.  I like things the same; I like routine and stability.  I don't like it when things aren't....aren't.....when things aren't the way they usually are. For instance, when the TV stations change their line-ups, it throws me for a couple of days.  It's not so bad that I can't function, it just causes a general uneasiness in me.

Tomorrow isn't a little change for me; it's no TV station line-up change.  No sir.  It's a whole lot more than that.  It's a whole new world opening up for me tomorrow....and this whole new world has the potential to cause even MORE change in the form of a qualification, a job, and even more qualifications in the future.  I think that that's what's at the root of my angst and fear tonight; the fact that I can recognize the power and potential that these next few weeks hold.  If I do this right....well, the sky's the limit for me (and I mean that literally; there are nurses on LifeFlight choppers). 

A whole new world.  I'm still scared, but now I'm excited too!


Comments
on Aug 19, 2007
First day jitters. You'll do great.
on Aug 19, 2007
K, you're going to be GREAT. This is what you were MEANT to do. This is your calling. You might be late (it's the first day, no big deal), you might get lost, but I don't think you'll have any problems fitting in.

It's going to be different, but I bet after this first week, it'll be old hat. I'm so excited for you. If I were there, we could do the girly squeal and jump around and hug deal....lol. You go, woman...knock 'em dead!
on Aug 19, 2007
It's just another day.  Go, have fun.  Get the book list, the syllabus, all that crazy stuff and meet all of the others that are taking the class(es).  You'll be just fine and it'll be over before you even know it.
on Aug 19, 2007
I've got my first day of classes tomorrow as well. I just don't want to be late or get lost...I hate, hate, hate that. Although I shouldn't be either seeing as how I'm pretty familiar with the campus...but I'm paranoid about such things.

*sigh* I'd better get some sleep pretty soon.

And don't worry...you'll be okay. The hardest part of anything is getting yourself worked up too much beforehand.

~Zoo
on Aug 19, 2007
You're going to be fine. Better than fine. You're going to do great!

Worried that people won't like you... silly.
on Aug 20, 2007
You're going to do great. I am sure all will go well tomorrow!
on Aug 20, 2007
You rock. You will kick school's ass around the playground.

Just as it should be, my dear.
on Aug 20, 2007
I guess that I'm afraid of change. 


Everyone is.

I'm still scared, but now I'm excited too!


There you go. Define it as excitement. That's the way to handle it.

on Aug 20, 2007
Congratulations for going back to school. When I was in uni I always had the greatest respect for the students who were older and coming back to school. They had such amazing focus and determination.

I used to feel like that before a x-country ski race. Later I felt it when I started new things (mainly work)but didn't connect it to that racing feeling for a long time. That feeling stressed me out until I made that connection. All that feeling is your body psyching you up to get ready for challenges. Some people let that felling psych them out but I don't think that would be you. Embrace it and let it get you ready to be in top form. You're going to be great.

on Aug 20, 2007
Congrats for taking the plunge....I know you will do great. After all, how could you not? You are fantastic!
on Aug 20, 2007

First day jitters

That's exactly what they are.  Funnily enough, I slept ok last night.  This morning, though, I feel like I've had a whole pot of coffee (in reality I've had one cup) and I've got butterflies in my tummy.

It'll be fine.  That's my mantra for today.

This is what you were MEANT to do. This is your calling

I don't want to sound conceited, but it IS.  This IS what I'm meant to be doing. 

 

If I were there, we could do the girly squeal and jump around and hug deal....lol.

I know!  I did the whole jumping around and squealing thing on Friday afternoon after I'd registered and again on Saturday when I'd got my student ID and textbooks, but Dave was (is) too manly to do it with me.  I wish you'd been here!

You'll be just fine and it'll be over before you even know it

I know.  This time next week I'll be looking back and thinking about how silly I was for fretting like this.

 

Although I shouldn't be either seeing as how I'm pretty familiar with the campus...but I'm paranoid about such things.

I walked around campus on Saturday and found the building that my classrooms are in, so I really shouldn't be worrying about getting lost.  However, I too am paranoid about such things. 

The things I'm trying to remember is that it's a whole bunch of other people's first day too.  I'm not going to be the only one who isn't too familiar with where they're going.

You're going to be fine. Better than fine. You're going to do great!

Worried that people won't like you... silly.

Thank you for your vote of confidence! 

Some people don't like me, 'miah....and I'm ok with that.  I can't make everyone like me, I can only be who I am and let other people make their own decisions about whether they like me or not.

I'm going to do fine, I'm going to do fine, I'm going to do fine......

I am sure all will go well tomorrow!

I think it will.  I think I'm worrying about nothing.  However, if I didn't have anything to worry about then I'd worry about that too.

 

Just as it should be, my dear

It IS as it shold be.  You're right.

 

Define it as excitement. That's the way to handle it.

I'm trying to do just that!

The greatest journies begin with a single step.

Yes, they do.  My single step will be today.....and I'm hoping that this journey is going to be a productive one!

Embrace it and let it get you ready to be in top form.

That's exactly what I'm trying to do.  I figure I may as well turn it into something productive, right!?!

 

on Aug 20, 2007
Channeling Ethel Merman: You'll be swell, you'll be great. Gonna have the whole world on a plate. Startin' here, startin' now darling everything's coming up roses!
on Aug 20, 2007
Okay, so I totally want to know how your first day at school went! Maybe you're doing homework...
on Aug 21, 2007

Channeling Ethel Merman: You'll be swell, you'll be great. Gonna have the whole world on a plate. Startin' here, startin' now darling everything's coming up roses!

WOW!  You are in such fine voice!

Look at it this way.  College kids are for the most part irresponsible.  You are very responsible.  You may be older, but you are wiser, and you KNOW you can do it.  So I would say you have them beat all to heck and back.