Married and Buried

Published on May 17, 2004 By dharmagrl In Humor

Do you realize that there are only two times in your life that you're 'pronounced' as something?

When you're married "I now pronounce you husband and wife" (Or if you're from San Fran or Mass. "husband and husband" or "wife and wife")

And when you die "He was pronounced dead on arrival.."

Hmm.....makes you think, doesn't it?

Comments

greywar

on May 17, 2004

I never noticed that before. It hink you are right expect.... informally I have often pronounced many people to be Fuckweasels, Assclowns, or just Slack-Jawed-Booger-Eating-Morons.

Gerry Atrick

on May 17, 2004

And I am sure I remember a past girlfriend pronouncing me as a pimple on the butt of humanity....

stevendedalus

on May 17, 2004

I should prefer the term at SF Mass to be "you are pronounced lifetime partners." And for whimsical or insincere marriages ineluctably fated in divorce, regardless of orientation: pronounced "dead on arrival."

JillUser

on May 18, 2004

Some of us still believe pronouncement of death is the only way out of marriage. I always tell my husband "you're not getting out of this alive, one way or another".

Great observation though!

Greywar, assclown is still one of the funniest things I have been introduced to lately. Where did the term come from? I don't know what it is supposed to mean but it sure makes me chuckle.

greywar

on May 18, 2004

Jill - I am pretty sure I picked it up from Chris Jericho.

dharmagrl

on May 18, 2004

I like "assclown" as well. It always makes me grin....

Jill, you're right about dying being the only way out of marriage. I tell Dave the same thing.

Angloesque

on May 19, 2004

Doesn't the phrase "assclown" come from the movie Office Space? It's a line by Michael Bolton "...some no-talent assclown..."

-T.

dharmagrl

on May 19, 2004

I like Grewars teutonic version: AssenKlownen.

pseudosoldier

on May 20, 2004

AssenKlownen is actually the plural. (Or double plural. I'm not sure. It's like booben.) I'm not sure if I share credit in its conception or not, but I sure used the hell out of it while we were in Almania.

Freak show

on Mar 31, 2005

I eat my boogers when I masturbate. I also scrape my anus with my index finger and chew the cheese out. I am into embarrasment parties and exabitionism. I like to piss, shit, fart, jackoff and eat boogers in front of other people.

dharmagrl

on Mar 31, 2005

I like to piss, shit, fart, jackoff and eat boogers in front of other people.

You also like to make a complete asshole out of yourself on forums, huh?

Go play somewhere else, little boy.

bakerstreet

on Mar 31, 2005

If I am not mistaken, you can also be pronounced legally insane. Oh, and maybe blind, can't you? Handicapped? I thought it was any state the powers that be had to verify.

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