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Published on July 13, 2007 By dharmagrl In Misc

One of my worst fears was recognized today.

My patient fell.  On my watch.

She likes to have some privacy in the bathroom - as would anyone - so I normally help her in there, help her get her underthings down, and then leave her in peace.  She hollers when she's ready to get up, and I'm never far away (usually in the bedroom or kitchen, both of which are on either side of the bathroom). I go back and check on her every few minutes, knocking on the door and asking if she needs anything and is 'ok in there'.

This morning was no different. I helped her in there - she was walking no differently than any other day - got her squared away and went into the kitchen.  She hadn't been in there but 3 minutes when I head a crash.

I knew as soon as I heard it that she'd fallen. I rushed in there and found her face down on the floor, wedged between the tub and toilet, unresponsive and making not attempt to try to get herself up.  I clambered over to toilet, got her extricated and then carried her into the bedroom. 

By the time we got there she had somewhat come to her senses and was able to answer my questions about where it hurt.  She had a small abrasion on her forehead and an obvious cracked rib (I could feel it under her skin). 

I wanted to take her to the ER.  Her husband said no.  So, she didn't go.

He said no, I think - no, I KNOW - because the doctors would have kept her in there until they figured out WHY she fell and was unresponsive.  There's also a very good chance that they wouldn't have let her come home again, not until there was a better care system in place, anyway.  Her husband doesn't want that, and he's made it very clear that HIS wishes reign supreme in that home.

She simply doesn't have adequate care at home.  This morning proves that. 

So, she's no longer allowed to be alone in the bathroom, not when I'm there at least.  This is just another stop on the downward slope for her, and that makes me sad.

It makes me very sad.

 


Comments
on Jul 13, 2007
Yep, sad indeed.
on Jul 14, 2007
I wish there was someone you could appeal to...for her well being and safety. You aren't there all the time and one day a hard choice is coming. I only wish it would be easier...
on Jul 14, 2007

Yep, sad indeed.

It's keeping me awake at night.  I'm worried sick about the two of them.

I wish there was someone you could appeal to...for her well being and safety. You aren't there all the time and one day a hard choice is coming. I only wish it would be easier...

I've talked to her husband too many times to recall about how he needs to start making good decisions NOW because the day is fast approaching when the decision making process will be taken out of his hands.  He just doesn't listen.

Had I thought that she was more seriously hurt yesterday morning, I wouldn't have even asked his permission to call 911 - I'd just have done it and dealt with the consequences.  As my patient, her health and well-being are my number one priority, not his wants and desires.  I laid awake half the night second-guessing myself, wondering if I shouldn't have used that opportunity yesterday to kind of force the issue and get her the kind of care she needs.  I'm not saying that she has to go into a facility; I think that it's possible to get her adequate care at home with hospice....but right now we don't have the manpower OR the equipment in that home. 

*sigh*  You're absolutely correct about the hard choice coming.  I don't think her husband is the one to make that choice, unfortunately.  He's too blinded by his emotions to be able to make any kind of rational decisions regarding her or her care.

Gawd, I wish I knew what to do.

on Jul 14, 2007

Sad yes.  But as I get on in years, I see the husbands point.  Sad that she cannot go in to check to make sure she is ok, without them doing a CYA (the hospital) to make sure that some other person does not sue them for not keeping their relative until they are 22 again.

I understand your dilemna.  But I also understand his concern (and yes, caring).  Doctors are not gods, yet through the litigation we have seen, they are expected to be.  And that does as much harm as incompetant ones do.  Especially in cases like this.

You did all you could, and did it very well. But you cannot make things all right in all cases.  We have to remember, that these people are trying to maintian at least some dignity in the last years of their life.  No one wants to be beholden.

on Jul 14, 2007

I understand your dilemna. But I also understand his concern (and yes, caring).

Oh, there's no doubt in my mind that he cares for and about her.  My issue is that he's blinded by his fears and emotions and isn't really making good decisions for her anymore.

You did all you could, and did it very well. But you cannot make things all right in all cases. We have to remember, that these people are trying to maintian at least some dignity in the last years of their life. No one wants to be beholden.

Thank you.  I needed to hear that.