Everyone has these times in their life. I would have thought that growing up in England would have somewhat inured you to the mood dampening effects of grey weather though

I would have thought that growing up in England would have somewhat inured you to the mood dampening effects of grey weather though

You would've thought so, huh?

I think that a lot of it has to do with my brother's visit this past weekend.  He looks so much like my dad...it was really good to see him, but at the same time it was heart-breaking because it really brought home to me that dad is gone and Kev and I are the ones to head up the family and look after mum. 

It's also the first Christmas since dad died.  I still cannot believe he's gone, Greywar.  I sometimes pick up the phone and call their house, expecting to hear his voice. 

I keep saying this, but it's true: it's the most emotionally painful experience I've ever had, and it's changed me. 

My bio-father died when I was young, but my step-father died during my first tour in Korea. While Dad and I were never trribly close it was still an emotional trial for me (even though I am a pretty un-emotional guy). There simply are no good forumlaic answer for grief. Everyone has to either get through it in their own way or carry it onward without getting over it. Wish I had more to offer in the way of help.

Kev and I are the ones to head up the family and look after mum.

That kind of really brings home the realization that we are no longer children, but as old as our parents when we looked up to them with reverance and awe.

Listen to some Christmas Carols (just none on Ted's list). They will cheer you up!

Just take care of yourself. The emails and JU will still be here when you're feeling better.

I don't know who the kind, sensitive person is posting under my friend's pseudonym, but WHAT DID YOU DO WITH GREYWAR?

ahem.

K, don't worry about getting back to your friends. If they're your friends they'll understand, and they'll be there for you anyway.

There simply are no good forumlaic answer for grief. Everyone has to either get through it in their own way or carry it onward without getting over it.

Yep, I know.  I tell the families of my patients the same thing all the time.

That kind of really brings home the realization that we are no longer children, but as old as our parents when we looked up to them with reverance and awe

Yeah, it does.  The generational shift that I felt was really quite surprising.  It's a hell of a shock if you're not really prepared for it.

 

The emails and JU will still be here when you're feeling better

I hope so!

 

I don't know who the kind, sensitive person is posting under my friend's pseudonym, but WHAT DID YOU DO WITH GREYWAR? ahem. K, don't worry about getting back to your friends. If they're your friends they'll understand, and they'll be there for you anyway

I too was taken aback by Greywar's advice!  It was most unlike him!

If your depressions last more than a couple of days (and without obvious cause) and are followed (or preceeded by) bursts of energy, creativity, insomnia or irritability, you might be bi-polar.

I had wondered the same thing.  I was diagnosed as bi-polar 10 years ago and went through 2 years of medication hell (lithium poisoning twice) before I took myself off all the meds - and was more stable OFF meds that I was on.  So, my family practitioner and I had me do another eval and I was told that the bi-polar was a mis-diagnosis. 

I don't think that I'm bi-polar; these grey periods only last a couple of days and aren't followed by any euphoric moods or grandiose actions.  I think that dad's death is just weighing heavy on my mind and that I need to give myself some time to deal with that.  It's hard to do when my husband keeps chanting 'it only bothers you because you let it' at me, as if my grief is some kind of character defect.

indulge your melancholy without guilt,

I'm going to. 

Be still and take comfort in the knowledge that the sun will shine again. It always does.

Thank you, and you're right.  You know, as tough as you are to deal with sometimes, you're one of the most honest friends I've ever had.  Thank you. 

I just wanna say you look really pretty in that pic you posted on whoever's profile.

I still hate you; just thought I'd say that....thought it'd mean more from an honest perspective.

Trinitie

In this malaise just remember: keep pickin' 'em up and puttin' 'em down.
Keep going.
Keep going.
Keep going.

Hang in there girl, I know how you feel.