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It raises it's ugly head again.
Published on April 26, 2004 By dharmagrl In Health & Medicine
I had a flashback of sorts this evening.

For those of you who don't know, let me lay down a little background for you: I had a bad vehicle accident last October. The ass end of my jeep slid out on some black ice on the interstate and I ended up facing oncoming traffic and got nailed head-on by an 18 wheeler. I broke some ribs, my collarbone, shoulderblade, dislocated my shoulders, tore tendons in my neck, cut up my knees, broke my knuckle on my right hand, and bruised my heart and lungs. I was concious throught the entire event - sometimes I wish I hadn't been.

Anyway, I was watching some medical show on TV, and they had an accident on there that was pretty similar to mine. The paramedics were asking the patient questions...the exact same questions someone had asked me as I was sitting in the driver's seat of my jeep right before they extracted me......and there was that same feeling again, that panicky, scared feeling. I could almost feel my ribs start to ache, my neck start to tighten up, my shoulders begin to hurt....my heart started racing, and I began to cry. I didn't realize I was weeping until I felt the tears dripping off my cheeks, which was kind of a wake-up call for me to get up and walk away from what I was seeing and hearing, shaking and crying like a kid.

It pisses me off. I struggled with it all winter, I had a full-blown flashback in December and tied myself up in knots if I had to drive in snow or ice. I had nightmares that I would wake up from covered in sweat - in my dreams I'd be in the jeep, the second before impact, having that 'oh shit' moment people talk about, where I knew I was going to hit this big ass truck, and I knew it was going to hurt, and I also knew there was no getting out of it. I thought that I had finally put it to bed when Dave came home in January and we went to look at the wreckage of the jeep - I sat in the drivers seat while Dave held my hand and talked to me, and that really helped me face a lot of fears. I didn't have any more nightmares after that, no more flashbacks, no worries, none to speak of anyway.

Until tonight. You know, I cried the whole time I was sitting here writing this, and I don't know why. It's over, it's done. I got lucky; according to every physician that's treated me since the wreck, I should have died. I didn't. I'm still here, I'm alive and well.

So why is this raising it's ugly head now? I mean, I know why..it was the sound of the medic's voice that tipped me off...but when is this going to stop? What can I do to make it stop?

Will it ever be over?

Comments
on Apr 26, 2004
I'm so sorry Dharma... I wish there was something I could do for you. If you ever need to drop somebody a note, you know where to find my e-mail. Much love,

~Buddha
on Apr 26, 2004
You know, I don't have any great advice for you and your flashbacks. I am merely here to make a (probably unrelated, as usual) comment.

I used to get flashbacks, too. Like, debilitating flashbacks. Of all sorts of things, sometimes it would only be a flashback of simply riding in a car, which isn't all that bad. Except for the fact that when I got them I would be literally knocked over with waves of nausea. Terrible. One time I was sitting in my living room, got a flashback, and collapsed on the floor. I couldn't get up, couldn't move, couldn't do anything, it was like a seizure, lasting for about two minutes. They never lasted long.

One day after having a seizure/flashback, I thought about it really hard, and tried to think of what the days I had previously had these flashbacks had in common with each other, and in all strangeness, every time, I had eaten a sausage biscuit sandwich for breakfast. I tested it out the next day to see if I ate those and got another flashback, and sure enough, I did. So I stopped eating them, and stopped getting flashbacks.

Of course, it doesn't mean it's an allergic reaction for you like it (probably) was for me. I've had flashbacks caused by being reminded (by TV, music, whatever) of particularly horrifying moments in my life, too. It sucks, and I wish I had a solution... Nap? Chocolate chip cookies? It seems sometimes that those are the cure for all ails!!!!

Anyhow... I'm sorry you got a flashback. I know how horrifying and etc that those are. I hope that you feel better.

~Anne
on Apr 27, 2004
I'm doing ok, better this morning. No dreams last night, so I'm thinking that it was a one off thing and that I'm as far along the road to recovery as I had hoped I was.

It just really, really pisses me off because it's so...uncontrollable. It just came out of nowhere and took me by surprise, and I don't like that. I like to be in control of my emotions, to be able to recognize them for what they are and I didn't have a chance to do that with this 'reminder'.

Thanks again, though!
on Apr 27, 2004
I've been involved in something that, even though it was literally decades ago, the rememberance of it can still knock me down for awhile. I don't know if anything traumatic can be effectively erased from your brain. Even with the help of a good therapist/counsellor, etc., it's still up in the air if you can overcome it at all. Some would say that you have to be ready to overcome something like that, but I don't know... once something happens that really effects you on all levels (mental, physical,emotional), I find it hard to believe that you can forget it ever happened... maybe you're not supposed to, either. Maybe that's where the spiritual comes in... it can help to heal you, and help remind you why you are here.
Peace.
Nic.
on Apr 27, 2004
I think what you said was very profound, Nic.

My spiritual practice has come along in leaps and bounds since it happened..mostly because I've had an up close and personal glimpse at the impermanence of life and everything in it. Nothing like a near-death experience to make you take stock of yourself and your life, dig?

I don't think that I am supposed to forget, and I don't want to forget, not totally. I'd just like it if I could remember in a slightly less traumatic way!
on Apr 27, 2004
Dharma, I can relate a little. Like Nic, my experience was over a decade ago. I was in a pickup and slid on black ice. I over corrected, hit the shoulder and flipped 3 or 4 times. My guardian angel must have been with me that day because I landed right side up in the only safe spot I could have. I was a couple feet from huge trees on one side and a couple feet from a huge ravine on the other. I was so lucky that the guy behind me was a doctor and he stopped to see if we were okay. I was paler than usual from the shock of what happened and my hubby (boyfriend at the time) got a cut above his eye from his glasses.

My only injuries were whiplash and mental trauma. The "what ifs" drove me crazy for a while. It was a good 2-3 years before I was driving in the Winter without being a bit shaky. You have to deal with a lot more trauma so you might have to give it more time. Just remind yourself that you lived through it, you learned from it and you are stronger now. I think the mental trauma takes longer to heal than the physical and that is saying a lot in your case.

Best wishes.
on Apr 27, 2004
think the mental trauma takes longer to heal than the physical

I think so too, and that's what irritates me. I'm so used to being in control - it aggrivates me to no end when I'm not. I got frustrated that it took me so long to heal physically, and now I'm getting pissed that I'm not healed mentally.

It just takes time, I think. Time, and patience...and I'm notoriously impatient. I think that accepting what happens from time to time as normal and natural will help..in fact, I'm going to go think about that in my morning meditation.

Thanks, Jill and Nic, you made me think. That's always good!
on Apr 27, 2004
I resent feeling out of control so I think I know what you are talking about. I broke my leg about a year and a half ago and the worst part was having to rely on others. I could deal with the physical pain. I just hated not being able to get in and out of the tub, go up the stairs, and most of all drive. But feeling like you can't control your own mind is the absolute worst. I sometimes start crying about something that happened a long time ago. It hits me out of the blue and I feel no control over it. I really don't like it but have started to accept that maybe I didn't deal with those things properly at the time so this is how my brain is working through it.

I hope you are able to make peace with that part of your life and I am glad I helped make you think.
on Apr 27, 2004
maybe I didn't deal with those things properly at the time

I DIDN'T deal with the properly at the time. I had 3 kids who were staying with neighbors so I was more worried about getting out of the hospital and getting home than I was about healing properly. Then, because Dave't come home, I had to pretty much carry on as normal...cooking, cleaning, caring for the kids etc..so I never had time to let myself deal with it, dig? I had to press on as normal and act like nothing had happened so I didn't freak the kids out any more than they already were. Instead of embracing and accepting it, I shut it out, pushed it to the side and never really thought about it. No wonder I'm still having issues, huh?

Thanks, Jill. That's helped a lot....

on Apr 27, 2004
Wow, as a newcomer here I knew about the accident, but didn't realize the extent of it. First off let me just say that it is wonderful you are alive and doing so well.

Flashbacks, even to a debilitating degree are, as I am sure you know, extremely common after such a traumatic event. The feelings of fear, the memory of the incident, even the sensation of the pain are all things that, to one degree or another, you will probably have to live with. But you certainly can develop a certain level of mastery over how those things affect you. Basically it is just cognitive behavioral therapy, a series of conditioning yourself to control your response to a specific stimulus, a stumulus that is unique to each person's flashbacks. And with your spiritual development I am sure you can gain the mastery you seek.

If you choose to try something like this on your own (it certainly can be done) just build up slowly, facing things that remind you of the accident and focusing on what your body is doing, how you are reacting. You can then focus your energy on adjusting that response. And you will get better, able to control your reaction to bigger and bigger stimuli. It takes time, it takes energy, but it can be done and I am sure you can do it.

I hope that all wasn't too impersonal. The crux of the post is this though. You probably can't control having the flashbacks, but you certainly can learn to control how you react to them. I wish you the best and hope you continue to overcome.
on Apr 27, 2004
facing things that remind you of the accident and focusing on what your body is doing, how you are reacting. You can then focus your energy on adjusting that response.


That's what I've been trying to do, Dev. It started with looking at photographs of the accident scene and my truck, then I went onto driving past the site of the wreck, then onto actually getting into the truck and sitting there for a while. I'm doing as you suggested, and examining my reactions to these situations and stimuli, and so far it's been working really quite well. Last night simply took me by surprise, and to be honest pissed me off more than anything.

I'm fine today...so far, anyway.

Thank you so much for you advice!
on Apr 27, 2004
Glad to know it has been working well for you! It will continue to get better as well. Best of luck.