The Hospice conference I attended yesterday was held on Southern Illinois University's Edwardsville campus in the main conference hall.  Driving around campus made me feel old; there were kids wandering around who didn't look too much older than my 14 year old - and in reality, they AREN'T that much older at a mere 18 - 20 years.

All of the facilities in and around the conference hall were geared towards the younger generation:  fast food places, Starbucks, TV's tuned to MTV instead of one of the news channels.  I got followed around by some young man when I took a break from the conference to stretch my legs and use the bathroom. Every time I stopped to look at something, he stopped too, and when I glanced over at him to see if he really WAS following me he caught my eye, smiled and said "I like your hat" (I was wearing my new fedora and it DOES look pretty darn good on me).  I wondered if I should tell him just how old I was, but decided against it.  Him following me was harmless.....not to mention flattering. 

I found something later that afternoon that REALLY drove home to me just how much younger than myself the students are.  In the ladies' bathroom, instead of Tampax and Kotex vending machines there were condom machines selling both fruit-flavored and .....well, regular latex-tasting ones.  Talk about age-appropriate placement.  You'd never find that kind of thing in a Senior Center restroom!  I wondered if any of the ladies at the conference had seen those, and, if they had, what they had thought of them.  I was too shy to ask any of them though.  Well, that's not entirely true.  I wasn't too shy, I just didn't want to start up a conversation with anyone about it.  It would have made me feel almost as old as them, and I didn't want to feel that way.  Being followed around and flirted with by an under-20, good looking boy does things to a girl who's pushing 40.  Good things.  It gives them confidence - confidence that they might have started to feel slipping away when they were told that their ovaries had clapped out on them and they were menopausal.

I saw him as I was leaving yesterday.  My boy follower was sitting in one of the common areas surrounding the conference hall.  I had a fleeting urge to walk over to him, hug him and tell him that he did a middle-aged woman's confidence and ego a lot of good, following her around and flirting the way he did.  I decided that it would create more problems that it would solve, so I settled for a smile, a wave and a mouthed 'goodbye' as I headed out the doors and into the rain.  I don't know if he followed me out; I didn't look back. 

But I did have a smile on my face.  And NO condoms in my pocket, I might add.