I really don't like weekends.
I'm lonely. I miss D. I haven't felt close to him all week...it's been hard, with everything that's been going on. If he were here, things would probably be different, but as it is he's gone, and I'm lonely.
I took the kids to the pool again this afternoon. We were doing fine until a bunch of teenagers decided to crash our party in the shallow end. You know, they had the whole of the olympic sized swimming pool at their disposal, I don't know why they had to come play in the 10ft radius we were occupying. My kids are learning to swim, and they get nervous when there's bigger, boisterous kids around...and, despite my asking the big kids to be careful, shit happened and we decided it best that we leave before mom had to kick someone's ass. We'll go again tomorrow, it's usually empty on Sunday afternoons.
So, here I sit, smelling faintly of chlorine, missing my husband, wishing he were here or I were there. I need him, dig? I need to feel close to him, not emotionally close because I don't think we could really get any tighter emotionally than we already are - but physically close. I need to hold his hand, to feel his breath on the back of my head as we spoon at night. I need to be held - not by just anyone, but by him. I said this before - I never understood how it was possible to be in a room full of people but still feel desperately lonely until we started this remote assignment. I think that's what my problem is, and has been recently...all the months of separation are finally starting to wear on me a little. I have friends, but that's not what I need right now. I need my love, my one and my only. He's the only one who can satiate the needs I have.
Ah well....15 weeks and countring.