There's a Buddhist saying that 'when the student is ready, the teacher will appear'. I found this in my daily readings book this morning....
'Right Aspiration is what develops in the mind once we understand that freedom of choice is possible. Life is going to unfold however it does: pleasant or unpleasant, disappointing or thrilling, expected or unexpected, or all of the above! What a relief it would be to know that whatever wave comes along, we can ride it out with grace. If we got really good at it, we could be like surfers, delighting especially in the most complicated waves.
What Right Aspiration translates to in terms of daily action is the resolve to behave in a way the stretches the limits of conditioned response. If I want to build big biceps, I need to use every opportunity I have to practice lifting weights. If I want to live in a way that is loving and generous and fearless, then I need to practice overcoming any tendency to be angry of greedy or confused. Life is a terrific gym. Every situation is an opportunity to practice. In formal Buddhist language, this is called the cultivation of nonhatred, nongreed, and nondelusion.'
(Sylvia Boorstein, It's Easier Than You Think)
Wow. If I had been a cartoon, a lightbulb would have appeared over my head. All of this, the crap that's been going on, the allegations of neglect, the bitchiness and pettiness...all of it is, and has been, my opportunity to put into practice what I've learnt spiritually...and I, whether I realized or not at the time, have been doing just that.
All I can say is..'bring it on'. I'm ready, I have my surfboard, and I'm looking for the next set of waves to roll on in.