Something happened yesterday that showed me how far I've come on this spiritual path I've been walking.
We live on base, and in military housing there are some strict rules about leaving children unattended. I had left Davey (who's almost 10) alone whilst I took his sister to the BX (the department store on base). Base regs say that I can do that, as long as I'm not gone for more than an hour and the child left alone has immediate access to adult assistance (he did, I had my cell phone on me and was less than 2 mins away). I left the house at 1532 and was back at 1551..to be met by a very tearful Davey who said that the cops had been by and that I was to call them as soon as I got home. I asked him what had happened, but he wouldn't answer me and went and hid behind the couch, crying.
So, I called the Law Enforcement desk. As luck would have it, a friend of ours was working up there and answered the phone. "Hey, this is ___ " I said. "My son just told me that ya'll were at my house and I'd like to know why". He proceeded to tell me that someone had called and said that I had left my child unattended and that he had been alone for hours, and that they had responded because they didn't realize who it was and that they had a duty to come out to each and every call. They had talked to Davey, verified that he was of age, and then had left. The call had come from a cell phone, he said, so they couldn't trace it and the caller had not wanted to leave their name. "I think it's just someone trying to be vindictive, Dharma. Have you pissed any of your neighbors off recently?" he asked.
Well, not intentionally, but yes, I did. There's one girl across the street who just seems to start trouble with everyone. You know, I try to get along with most people, and if for some reason I find someone I really can't deal with, I avoid them. This girl, however, is in her late teens, and insists on treating life like she's still in HS. The street has become incredibly clique-y since she and her family moved in...but anyway, I digress. I was outside talking to another girl that lives across the street, 'A' the other day, when 'B' starts making all these snide comments about kids and abuse and neglect. 'A' rises to the occasion and makes comments back, and before I know what's happening, I'm caught in the middle of the two of them yelling back and forth. I really don't like that. A couple of days later, I caught B's cat in my house, AGAIN. He has got into my garage before and peed all over a bunch of stuff I had in there - after which I took him home and told her what he had done. I've busted him in my house 3 previous times, and each time either Shea or I has taken him home and told B what he'd done. Apparently my version of hinting had no effect, because she still kept letting him out and he still kept making a beeline for my house every single time. He'd also developed a penchant for getting into my garbage and scattering it all over my yard, and that got REALLY tiresome, REALLY fast. Each time he did it I'd let B know, but she just said that it couldn't be her cat, it must be someone elses.So, I called entomology and asked that they come out and set humane cat traps around so that I could catch the offending feline and I could prove for once and for all who's animal it was that was causing all the havoc.
So, entomology come out, and it just happened that B's cat was in the process of ripping apart the freshest garbage bag when they got there. B was standing in the neighbors driveway watching, so the Airman went over and asked if it was her animal, then told her that she needed to keep him in her house or I'd be taking him to the human society the next time I caught him. B wasn't too happy about that...
..so, it seems to me that it's not too hard to figure out who placed the call yesterday..which also leads me to the point of this article. You know, alleging child abuse or neglect is a serious thing, not something that you should just throw around because you feel like it. The ramifications from a false allegation can be far reaching...kids have to have physicals, social services can get involved, there are inteviews that are conducted..it's not something I would wish on my worst enemy if they were innocent. There was a time when my first reaction after an incident such as this would have been to have gone and yelled at her, then spent the next few weeks scheming about how I could fuck her like she tried to fuck me. I'd have let my anger fester and brew until I'd have either got a migraine or had had a meltdown on some poor unsuspecting soul. Now, however, things are different. I'm not mad. I'm not angry, or vengeful, or hateful, or even scheming. All I feel is sympathy..for B, that she felt she had to do such a thing to try and get to me. This to me, is a great indication of how far I've come, that I'm able to let this go..that I hold no animosity for the accuser, that I bear no grudge. Even I was surprised at my reaction. I was fully expecting to feel anger rise and and cause my chariot to careen wildly out of control...and that simply hasn't happened.
I've made progress. I like that.