My son will be 12 next Monday.  My mum sends him a birthday gift from the UK every year, and this year his gift arrived today.  She often puts some photos or a note for me in the box, so I always open it and then find somewhere to stash Davey's present.

Today I opened the box, and, alongside my son's wrapped gifts, I found a package wrapped in tissue paper with a sticker attached that said 'some of your dad's things for you.  I hope you like them - Mum'.  I didn't expect it to be there; I had spoken to her yesterday and last week and she hadn't mentioned anything about it.  It came out of the blue and took me off guard.  I felt the tears coming as soon as I saw the parcel.

Once I saw what was inside, the tears REALLY flowed.

SHe had sent me one of my dad's shirts, a blue and white striped one.  Inside the breast pocket was a photo of my dad holding my son (Davey, the one who will be 12 next week) when he was about 2 months old. Dad is smiling at Davey, and Davey is giving my dad a big toothless grin in return.

As if that weren't special enough, attached to the collar was a tie pin that my dad had been given when he was a member of the rod and gun club.  The pin is a shotgun and spaniel, and dad had said that he wanted me to have it after he saw photos of me shooting my shotgun and handgun.  

I don't know why I did it, but I lifted the shirt to my face and sniffed it. 

I can smell my dad, what I consider to be 'home'...I can smell that on it.  That hurt; it hurt really badly.  I cannot even begin to describe how much this hurts, JU.  I just don't have the words.

I'm going to show these things to my kids when they come home from school and my husband  when he comes home from work, but then they're getting put in my dresser drawer for safekeeping until I can find a shadow-box to put them in, then that shadow-box is going to be hung in my livingroom. 

I think that dad would like that.