I spent yesterday and last night in the hospital. 

I was in the shower yesterday morning (I had just completed a 2 mile walk with my dawgs) when I felt a pain in my chest.  I spread out from under my sternum and whilst it was excruciating, it got my attention.  It only lasted a minute or two, then it subsided.  I didn't think anything of it and continued on washing my hair and shaving my legs.

When I was drying off and getting dressed, I had the pain again.  It was stronger this time, and my heart just started racing like I had just finished running.  It made it hard for me to breathe, and I had to sit down on the bed because my legs were shaking so much.

I knew something wasn't right, so I got my cell off the dresser and called my husband I was going to the ER.  He said he'd be there in a few minutes, so I half-crawled my way to the truck and set off for the ER (it's a 2 minutes drive from my house).

When I got there, I couldn't walk properly.  My heart was racing, I was shaking, my chest really hurt, and I felt light headed.  I also had this sensation of my breath being really hot, like my lungs were having a hot flash. Luckily my husband saw me and came and got me.  He wanted to get a wheelchair to take me in with, but I was stubborn headed and told him I could walk as along as I had his assistance.  By the time we got to the doors, I was wilting. so he got a wheekchair and ran in with me.

4 minutes later, I was being loaded into the back of an ambulance and being taken downtown to the trauma center ER.  The doc on duty at the base ER had listened to my heart and turned and told the medic "probably an MI).  That scared me.  Myocardial Infarction is basically a heart attack.

We set off with lights and sirens blaring.  By the time we got off base, I had an IV in my arm.  Half a mile later we met up with the civilian medics and I got O2 and Nitro under my tongue - which eased the pain in my chest.  I got asprin to chew on and something in my IV for the pain.

We got to the ER and I was immediately surrounded by nurses sticking monitor pads on my chest and asking me questions.  I got Demerol in my IV which brought my arm out in some pretty impressive hives - so now I'm allergic to that as well as morphine.  The list of my allergies is just growing and growing.

The tests showed that I wasn't having a heart attack, but that something was obviously not right with my heart.  So I got kept in overnight for observation.  I have to say that the nursing care on the unit was the WORST care I've ever recieved. Overnight I had to fight for pain medication, and this morning they tried to give me TYLENOL for my chest pain.  I tried to have them call my pain management doc so he could tell them that tylenol are like candy to me - they have NO effect on me whatsoever, that's why I have a fentanyl patch on my arm and oxycodone to take on top of the fentanyl.  They didn't want to do that, though, so I spent all morning crying because I was tired and my chest hurt.  I told them I wanted to sign out against medical advice; I have oxycodone at home and I'd be able to take that for pain.  I caused quite a ruckus; they probably think I'm the patient from hell, but all I wanted was some decent fucking care.  Even my room mate and husband agreed that the care I got was sub-standard.

Anyway, after all the tests came back inconclusive, they said I could go home.  I'm to follow up with my primary care doc on Tuesday, and if the pain gets worse or I can't breathe, I'm to go back to the ER.  They think that my mitral valve prolapse may be causing some angina, but seeing as I wasn't having a heart attack they felt okay sending me home and having me follow up with my own doctor.  I'll probably have to go see a cardiologist and get another stress test done, I'll have to be on medication for the MVP, I'll have to follow a cardiac diet and lose some weight, and I'll probably have to carry nitro pills around just in case.

I have to say that the ride in the ambulance was terrifying.  Not because of the driving, but because I honestly thought that I was having a heart attack and might die.  The way the medics were talking, I was pretty sure that's what was going on.  I spent most of the ride concentrating on my breathing and trying not to freak out.

I HAVE to lose weight.  Not only are my joints being affected, now it seems that my heart is being affected too.  I'm going to have to be really careful about what I eat, I'm going to have to exercise more than what I have been.  I suspect that when I see my own doc on Tuesday I'm going to come away with appointments not only for cardiologists but with dieticians and the personal trainers over at the Health And Wellness Center (HAWC). 

That's fine with me.  I don't want a repeat of yesterday - ever.  I'll do what it takes to not have that happen. 

Whatever it takes.