or what I imagine 'in utero' would feel like...
I had an MRI done this morning. I had my head clamped on either side, then they put a cage kinda device over my face, with a little mirror in front of my eyes, angled so I could see out of the machine and hopefully not feel quite so claustraphobic. They gave me some headphones to wear so I could listen to the radio, then slid me into this tube and started the machine.
Being in there was odd..it makes this rhythmic throbbing, humming noise, much like what a maternal heatbeat must sound like. When they turn the magnets on though, the noise is loud, really loud. I couldn't even hear the radio over the clicking and whirring at some points. I tried not to get freaked out, I kept my eyes on what was going on at the end of my feet in the little mirror....trying all the time to stay as still as I can, to regulate my breathing so I don't hyperventilate and panic....it wasn't unpleasant, but it wasn't pleasant either.
The whole time I was in there I was trying to imagine what the inside of my head looked like on the screen the techs were looking at. I wondered if it looked like it does on TV...or perhaps like it does in cartoons, with nuts and bolts and a mouse running on a wheel floating around in there.
I asked the radiologist afterwards why I was getting an MRI done as opposed to a CT scan....he said "well, your doctor's concerned that you have MS, and this shows that better than a CT scan does.". Hmm, he never said anything about that to me. I wish he had.
So, now I wait for the call to tell me what the scan showed. Hopefully nothing. Hopefully that I have a normal CNS...but then again, what good would that be? I'd still have no answers about what's going on. So, instead of hoping that nothing shows up, I hope that something does show. Then I can quit thinking about what it MIGHT be, and concentrate on dealing with whatever it is.
C'mon, phone...ring....