I wonder where he learned to do that?!

Published on August 7, 2006 By dharmagrl In Misc

I was wandering around the shoe department in the BX on Saturday, forcing my husband to look at cute shoes, when we heard this woman yelling at her kid 2 aisles over.

As we rounded the corner, we saw the kid in question - a little boy, maybe two or three, and we saw why she was yelling at him.

He was giving her the finger. Quite proficiently, too, wiggling his middle finger around as he flipped his mother the bird. It's my experience that little kids aren't the most dexterous of creatures - my boys used to have to bend their own fingers down in order to do the Spiderman web-shooting gesture when they were small, so I'm thinking that this child was either incredibly gifted in the finger dexterity department, or he was used to giving people the finger.

How does a child that young know about a gesture like that? I'll tell you how: he's seen it be used. A lot. That's how kids learn, they imitate what they see around them every day. So, I'm summising that this little guy had seen that particular gesture used enough to know that it meant a not-so-good thing, but had also had enough practice doing it that he can just whip it out whenever he wants to.

Shocking as it was to see this toddler flipping off his mother, her response was even more shocking:

"It's NOT ok to do that!!!"

And she walked away.

Yep. She just strolled off like nothing had happened. It obviously wasn't as shocking to her as it was to us (Dave and I both stood there, him with his mouth open and me with both hands plastered over my gob so's not to laugh out loud and disturb this primer of modern parenting), which leads me to again summise that this wasn't the first time her little boy has done that.

I'm not a perfect parent. Far from it....but if one of mine had done that at that age, I'd have dropped what I was doing and marched them out of the store, taken them home and spanked them. At the very least they'd have spent some time on the 'naughty chair' in the corner so they could think about what they did and how wrong it was. I sure as hell wouldn't have let it go and walked away.

I thought that I had seen enough bad behaviour from kids that NOTHING would shock me.

I was wrong.

Comments

Dr Guy

on Aug 07, 2006

At 2 or 3, it is not likely they have seen it in school yet either. It reminds me of A Christmas Story.

dharmagrl

on Aug 07, 2006

At 2 or 3, it is not likely they have seen it in school yet either.

Nope. Which leaves either daycare, or at home. If I thought my child was picking up crap like that from daycare, I'd yank them out. Immediately. So, that leaves his home environment.

We cuss in our house now, but when our kids were small they thought that 'shut up' was a "bad" word and would come tattling on each other about it. My three all know how to flip the bird because they see me and their dad doing it (usually whilst driving) and they know a few cuss words, but they're all 10 and older....and there are certain cuss words that we simply don't use in our house because even Dave and I consider them too vulgar. You know they've got to be really nasty for us to not use them; we've got quite the potty mouths when we're not around the kids - comes from hanging around with cops and criminals too much.

terpfan1980

on Aug 07, 2006

The things that children get away with now really amazes me. Certainly stuff I'd have had "my hide tanned" for when I was younger, and stuff that I disciplined my son for during his early years.

I still get into things with my son when necessary, and I've tried to make it very clear that he must respect others, especially his elders, and still there are many times he disappoints me. At this point though, he's near 18, is out of my house (helping to keep an eye on my in-laws as they have health problems and need someone to stay available in case of an emergency) and is becoming his own man now. I hope I've instilled the right values, morals, etc., but only time will tell.

I still hold that traditional spankings aren't a bad thing, and that there are plenty of times when children should really feel the repurcussions of their actions. Your story sounds like just such a time.

MasonM

on Aug 07, 2006

Yeah, I would have had a bit of trouble sitting down if I had pulled that crap when I was a kid.

dharmagrl

on Aug 07, 2006

I still hold that traditional spankings aren't a bad thing, and that there are plenty of times when children should really feel the repurcussions of their actions.

Sometimes, a couple of swift swats on the behind with an open hand is the only thing that gets the attention of a child. Sometimes a spanking is what it takes to make your kid understand that what they've just done is absolutely unacceptable under ANY circumstance. 2 and 3 year olds simply don't have the mental capacity to reason the way adults do, and a swat on the butt is the only way to get the message across.

We haven't spanked our kids since they were 6 or 7. We haven't had to. I sometimes wonder if the fact that we DID spank them when they were small has anything to do with our not needing to spank them when they got older.

Yeah, I would have had a bit of trouble sitting down if I had pulled that crap when I was a kid

Oh, my dad would have paddled my ass with gusto had I flipped anyone off. I used to get a swat for not saying please or thank you in public, so he'd have gone off on me had I been rude like that kid was. I'd have deserved it, though.

pseudosoldier

on Aug 07, 2006

This story came up at a party on Saturday, partially because my boys were there and were being well-behaved:

Ryan was hanging out in the kitchen with his wife, just having come home from work. His two-year-old daughter strolls in, puts a hand up on the fridge, and leans on it hard like she's exhausted. "Mom, I'm so f***ing tired!"

Ryan just points to himself, and says, "Yeah, that one's me. Sorry."

dynamaso

on Aug 07, 2006

Hmm, my nephews and nieces (my only real experience with kids) would never do this, even in their most spirited moments. Sure, they can be cheeky and sometimes go too far with it (as do all kids at some point or other) but they KNOW where the line is drawn.

A toddler flipping off someone would have made me laugh out loud, though. I'm glad I wasn't there.

dharmagrl

on Aug 07, 2006

A toddler flipping off someone would have made me laugh out loud, though. I'm glad I wasn't there

Me too! That's why I had my hands over my mouth - I was about ready to crack up laughing!

There's a line between being cheeky and impish and being downright rude. That little boy doesn't know the real meaning behind what he's doing, he just knows that it winds his mom up when he does it - and that, I think is why he does it.

Miah, that was hilarious! I'd have had a hard time NOT laughing at that one too!

dynamaso

on Aug 08, 2006

There's a line between being cheeky and impish and being downright rude.

Agreed... The problem is the parents probably do it all the time without realising the sort of example they're setting and the kids only follow by example. 'Do as I say not as I do' doesn't have hold much logic to a three-year old.

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