My first foray into the world of poetry

Published on April 9, 2004 By dharmagrl In Misc

Not the best I've ever written, but here ya go: A little ditty about housewifely duties...somewhat unfinished, and I'm open to suggestions.

DOMESTIC BLUES

The kitchen's clean
The kid's are fed
I've put clean sheets
On all the beds.

The floors are mopped
The toilet's brushed
I wonder why
I feel so rushed?

So much to do!
So little time!
I swear not all
These socks are mine!

Forget the wash,
The dusting too.
Kick up my feet
And sit a few.

Who cares about neat?
If everything's 'right'?
Be messy again
By nine tonight.

Ta-da!!

Comments

BigDreamer415

on Apr 09, 2004

Cute, I like it.

)

Sarah

dharmagrl

on Apr 09, 2004

Aw, thanks....!

Suspeckted

on Apr 09, 2004

Cute was exactly my reaction...I look forward to the second foray.

dharmagrl

on Apr 09, 2004

Coming from you Ted, I take that as a huge compliment.

I have a lot of stuff, most of it more serious than this...I'm not sure how it will go over so I'm hesitant to post it. Most people seem to think that if it doesn't rhyme it's not poetry, and that is a BIG reason I haven't put anything out before this. I'm more Sylvia Plath than I am Shel Silverstein , dig?

crimson

on Apr 09, 2004

Most people seem to think that if it doesn't rhyme it's not poetry

I don't know... I think there is a lot of good poetry that doesn't rhyme. I think it's all about flow, and in a sense, non-thinking. The more I try to search for the appropriate word, the harder it is to read. Sometimes just letting yourself go with your emotions without thinking too much about the act of writing produces much more interesting stuff.

I'd be interested in seeing your sylvia plath stuff, actually. Give me the serious.

crimson

on Apr 09, 2004

Btw, that's not to say that I didn't identify with your first post here... in fact, I know exactly what you mean!

MadPoet41

on Apr 09, 2004

Dharma~You are a poet, and you kind of know it! I liked this a lot! How long did it take you to write it? And how did you feel when you finished the very last line? It's always a rush when that happens, dig? The last line is always the best one for me. It's a kind of completion~even a climax! (So whatever happened to the poem about Kurt? Still wanna see that one big time!)

~MadPoet

P.S. I'd love to see those "Sylvia Plath" type poems too. Really dark? But you can do humorous ones too! That is so cool!

dharmagrl

on Apr 09, 2004

This one took me about 15 mins to write. To be honest I kind of regard it as 'fluff'..

I'll pull out some Plath-esqe ones this weekend and post them. I have to find my notebook...I wrote a lot of stuff when I first started working security and had to go sit in a truck on post for 8+ hours with nothing to do except a perimeter check every so often. That's when a lot of the 'dark' stuff came out...Dave and I were having a rough spot, I was overweight, unhappy, uncertain about the future...and all of that was reflected in what I wrote.

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