Knitting. Yarn. Fiber artistry. More knitting. Nursing school. Hospice work. Death and the dying process. Phoenix Raven's. Knitting. Yarn. Oh, and Life As An Air Force Wife.

As most of you know, I've had problems with my left shoulder ever since 2003.  It got dislocated in an MVA, and since then has dislocated totally 3 times and partially so many times I've lost count.  It bothers me every now and then, and despite my repeated visits to my family doctor nothing was ever suggested (apart from a sling and rest) as a remedy.

Yesterday I was mopping the kitchen floor.  I was barefoot - as I usually am in the summer - and I was quite happy swabbing away with my pine-sol and Vileda mop.

Then Gracie came bounding in.  I didn't want puppy prints all over my nice clean floor, so I tried to shoo her out. Grace being the typical stubborn Boxer-dawg that she is, took my shooing her as an invitation to play and started bouncing all over the place.  As I stepped towards her, I lost my footing on the wet tile and fell, stretching my left arm out to try and break my fall. 

As soon as my hand hit the ground I felt a crunch and pain in my shoulder, and when I sat up and took my weight off my arm I felt even more crunching and pain.  I got up and sat down at the table, trying to feel if I'd done any damage that would warrant a trip to the ER.  I really hate military ER's, yanno.  They're full of people who aren't really emergent cases but who couldn't get into see their doctor and didn't want to wait until the next day's acute appointments to open up.  There's usually a 3 hour wait and all they do is patch you up and tell you to go see your own physician the next day.

My dislike of military emergency rooms won out, and I decided that I'd be okay. 

But I wasn't.  Twisting or raising my arm in any way resulted in a sharp pain where the anterior deltoid meets the humerus.  It ached even when I wasn't moving it, and it didn't get any better as the day wore on.  Dave asked me if I needed to go to the ER last night because I was wincing and yelping so much (remember now, I'm on 75mcg fentanyl an hour for my back and leg pain, and this pain was making me cry out despite that), and I was my usual pig-headed stubborn self and refused to go.

Overnight the pain didn't subside, so this morning I called and got an appointment with one of the docs at the hospital.  I'd never seen this particular doctor before, and was expecting to be treated like an addict because I'm already on pain meds but was presenting complaining of even more pain.

He didn't treat me like that at all.  He listened and was gentle when he examined me, and was very understanding of my situation. He got an X-ray, and after seeing the results told me that he was going to get me in to see the orthopedic surgeon on base because he wanted me evaluated and soon.  He also ordered an MRI to give us a clearer picture of the soft tissue injury I obviously had.

I asked him if he thought I'd messed up my rotator cuff, and he said yes, he DID think that's what was going on.....but he's also concerned at the number of dislocations I've had and at the amount of crepitation that's audible when I move my shoulder.  I've got a loose, unstable shoulder and probably a partially torn rotator cuff that may need surgical repair.

So, I see the ortho surgeon on the 19th, and if he thinks surgery might be an option, I'm going to tell him to schedule it.  I should have taken the first opportunity I was given to have surgery on my back, but I was scared and wanted to wait....and look what happened there.  I've got permanent neuropathy because I waited.  I'm not going to repeat that mistake.  If surgery is even an option, I'm taking it.  Having a shoulder that is unreliable and painful like this really limits me - I can't swim, I can't do yoga, I can't bellydance and I can't ride my bike without being in pain, and everyday household stuff like carrying laundry baskets and pushing a vacuum cleaner become painful tasks.  It was hard enough to come to terms with the limits my back surgery puts on me without being even MORE limited.  So, if surgery is even a option, I'm going to take it and try to get it done before my husband deploys again.  I don't want him to have to come home from deployments twice in a row because I need to have another surgery.

*sigh*  Another surgeon to see, another broken part.  This is getting to be a drag......

 


Comments
on Jun 28, 2006

That will be great if they can operate and get you a fully functioning (without fear of dislocation) shoulder again.

I've never had a dislocated shoulder but it sounds awfully painful.

Good luck.

on Jun 28, 2006

I've never had a dislocated shoulder but it sounds awfully painful.

it is.  I have had one.  Fortunately mine was not that bad as it did not tear anything.

I hope they fix you up perfect so that you can type some more letters from Henry!

But Dharma comes first this time.  Being hard headed is fine at times, but knowing when not to be is wisdom.  And you have wisdom.

on Jun 28, 2006

Gosh Dang it dharma,  I don't know whether to give you a big virtual hug or shake you like I always wished I could shake people when they're stubborn like my mom was!!

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Dharma))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

oh jeepers lady........whew,  so so sorry you're hurting!! 

best wishes for you!  for your appt. and possible upcoming surgery!! 

you will stay in touch somehow won't you?  I mean up to being hospitalized?  I know it must hurt to try to type so.....

If there's anything you need please let me know?  I realize I"m far away,  yet maybe could do something??

oxoxoxoox get better

on Jun 28, 2006

*sigh* Another surgeon to see, another broken part. This is getting to be a drag......

Man, I feel your pain....well....maybe not exactly, but I know what you mean.  I feel so "defective" at times.  I hate going to the Dr. because it seems like they always find something more wrong, and a lot of it requires surgery.

I hope they get you as "fixed" as possible soon.

on Jun 28, 2006

I hate going to the Dr. because it seems like they always find something more wrong, and a lot of it requires surgery.

Dont I know that one.

on Jun 28, 2006
Ain't getting old fun?
on Jun 28, 2006
Oh no, it really sounds painful

And the 19th is so far from now, grrr! Did they prescribe anything for the pain??

Get better soon dharma.
on Jun 28, 2006

Ain't getting old fun?

Let me consult my Barrell of Monkeys!

on Jun 28, 2006

That will be great if they can operate and get you a fully functioning (without fear of dislocation) shoulder again.
I've never had a dislocated shoulder but it sounds awfully painful.

That's what I want too.  I told the doc today (who, incidentally, called me at home at 7pm this evening to see how I was doing) that I didn't trust my shoulder to not clunk and hurt (which is it partially sliding out of joint) or to give way on me. 

It IS painful.  Think about hitting your funny bone hard, and multiply that by about 100.  Then add some tendon and muscle pain, much like a sprained ankle or wrist....and viola!  You have dislocated shoulder pain.

I hope they fix you up perfect so that you can type some more letters from Henry!

Me too!  He's been saving some stories about Grace to tell you....

But Dharma comes first this time. Being hard headed is fine at times, but knowing when not to be is wisdom. And you have wisdom.

Thank you.  You know, I KNOW my body and I know when something is serious enough to warrant a trip to the ER.  I also know that I'm tough and can tolerate a lot of pain.  If it had been pain that I really couldn't handle, I'd have gone in...or if it had resulted in my not being able to use my arm or hand, or if there was any kind of deformity of my arm or joint, then I'd have had my ass over there in a hurry.

Thanks for the vote of confidence, DG!

 

Gosh Dang it dharma, I don't know whether to give you a big virtual hug or shake you like I always wished I could shake people when they're stubborn like my mom was!!

Ah, I'm not that stubborn.  I just don't like a lot fuss over nothing.

 

you will stay in touch somehow won't you? I mean up to being hospitalized? I know it must hurt to try to type so.....
If there's anything you need please let me know? I realize I"m far away, yet maybe could do something??

Trudy, I promise I will keep in touch should I need to have surgery in the near future, and I will also let you know if there's anything you can do to help me!

 

Man, I feel your pain....well....maybe not exactly, but I know what you mean. I feel so "defective" at times. I hate going to the Dr. because it seems like they always find something more wrong, and a lot of it requires surgery.

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You 'get' it!!!!!!  It seems like I need to have surgery every year...first my breast, then my back, and now possibly my shoulder.  I feel defective, like you said, and sometimes useless.

Dave and I had a little spat earlier about my not asking for help when I needed it.  I was carrying a laundry basket under my right arm, and he got pissed at me for not asking him to help me.  The thing that he doesn't seem to get is that in the past 3 years, I've always managed alone because he wasn't here to help - there was NO-ONE here to help me apart from the kids.  I'm not USED to asking for help, I'm used to doing it alone. 

 

Dont I know that one.

Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm glad that I'm not the only one falling to pieces.

Ain't getting old fun?

Yeah, it's loads of fun.  Tons. 

And the 19th is so far from now, grrr! Did they prescribe anything for the pain??

I see my pain management doc tomorrow, and I'll talk to him about it.  I'm really not comfortable being prescribed pain medications, especially narcotics, but numerous physcians.  I'd prefer to have the pain management doc deal with that part of it.

Let me consult my Barrell of Monkeys

You have one of those?  Kewl!  I just have a magic 8-ball!

on Jun 28, 2006

UPDATE:

 

I have to wear this sling until I see the orthopedic surgeon on the 19th.  I also have to have an MRA next week, where they inject dye into the joint capsule and see if it leaks anywhere.  Even if it doesn't leak, we still have the problem of the rotator cuff injury to deal with.

*sigh* please, universe, let this be the past thing that I have to get fixed for a few years.  Everytime I have to describe the original injury the memory of the most awful 45 seconds of my life come right back to me, as clear and as fresh as if they'd just happened.  Every time I hear 'the wreck you had is what caused this' I'm reminded of the pain and the fear I felt, of how I thought I was going to die and was the most scared I've ever been.

I'd really like to be able to put that behind me and move on, letting it become a distant memory. 

Will I ever be able to do that?

on Jun 28, 2006
Man alive K! I am so sorry! It really sounds like something I would do. I think I pulled my groin a little last night because of a slippery floor. I sprayed the toilet and surrounding floor with scrubbing bubbles to wipe it all down, took one step toward the toilet (barefoot and pregnant of course) and just slid a little. It was enough to hurt though and it still hurts today.

Not only do you have to deal with the pain but the frustration of not being fully functional. I know how independent you are so I assume that drives you as crazy as it does me. Doctor and hospital crap is so annoying! I join the masses in hoping they get you fixed up.

~hugs~